Would you be concerned, as this woman's mother?

[Eisas]

Or thinking you go girl?

She's an adult, so there's nothing to be done and nothing to be said, but that doesn't stop mum worrying.

Mid 30s, married just over a year. Both have very good jobs, as well as family money, and a lifestyle most could only dream of.

Woman is to go travelling, without DH, for 6 months. He'll met her for the last two weeks. The plan is to start a family when she gets back.

I'm all for adventure,l and independance, but it seems strange to me to voluntarily be away from your new husband for so long, at the same time as planning a family.

Otoh, their life is so different to anything I know, maybe it's me.

Id not think much to be honest. I like this woman's ability to just go and have fun. She has no ties, why shouldn't she go and explore the world

Admiitedly it's unusual. If they are content with it, I dont see the issue. Six months isn't that long, it'll go very quickly.

And they aren't planning a family whilst she's traveling. They're planning that when she returns.

I think this is entirely up for the couple to agree to and be happy with and absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. Mother or not!

This is almost exactly what happened with me and my partner a decade ago. I'd always wanted to go travelling, never had the chance to have a gap year, it was really important to me to do it before having a family. I'd have liked my partner to come but he was on a particular career path and also didn't really want to spend 6 months travelling, it just didn't appeal to him, it's not for everyone.

So this is exactly what I did and it was the right thing to do, I did my travelling, had an amazing time, scratched that itch, came back and we started a family.

I'm sure people said behind our backs what you have said in your OP, but it was the right decision for us as a couple and no reflection on the strength of our relationship at all.

You do seem a bit envious. What's stopping you doing something similar? My mum took three months off work in her fifties and went backpacking round NZ, having never done anything similar before.

It is surprising but I wonder whether they got married to give each other security before she travelled and it was always on the agenda? I suppose it is no different to a partner working away for 6 months on secondment or something similar.

I would be perfectly fine and unbothered if my DD did this.

Did her DH go travelling before they met and she has always wanted to do it? Sounds like she wants to get the travel bug out of her system before settling down and he has either already done it or isn't interested.

I think it's a great idea.
Get in your travelling until any children are old enough to travel with you where it will actually mean something to them as well.
And then of course there is school, so you really are limited to the amount of time you have to travel with children.
This woman loves to travel, isn't wanting for money, has a husband who is willing to go along with it, everything is different now, so why not?

I would be really pleased for my DD to do something amazing for herself before committing to a family which will significantly impact her freedom and finances.

Sounds good. If one of them were in the forces then they may well have six months tours of duty so it's not that unusual to be apart. Different if the husband is isnt on board with the plan.

Quite the opposite. I'd think she had grown to be a confident and self reliant woman who is in a secure and trusting relationship.

It's awesome.

What do you think will happen?

Or do you think she should get the jump on the endless slog of parenting?

If she is planning to have children she will want to crack on with it quite soon, so now is the time to go travelling. It's not so easy to do with young children, and if she puts it on hold, she may be waiting a long time-and who knows whether travel will be affordable, or safe, or even possible in the coming decades?

Odd.

I think a strong, healthy, supportive relationship allows each partner the freedom to follow their individual dreams.

Why didn’t she do this before she got married?

Great idea if they are both on board. Nothing to do with the mother.

I would wonder why she hadn't done it before she got married. If it's a life changing I think that she's doing then who is to say she will still want to be married to him and vice versa when she returns?

Me too, sounds like she should have got it out of her system before marriage. It’s odd that she wants to do it as a newly wed. Does she realise she’s missed out on life experiences? It’s different from being in the forces, where you have no choice. I wouldn’t be happy if I were her husband. I’d wonder why she didn’t want to be with me , being a newly wed.

Unusual timing, though!

Yes, maybe that's why it feels off to me. If a new wife was posting that her DH wanted to go off and travel the world without her, within a year of their marriage....

She does have ties…a husband!

It’s unusual, I don’t think it’s concerning. You’ve given zero additional reasons for concern.

I have friends who have been very happily married for years, and have lived apart for most of that time. Another couple who live together, but often take holidays separately to do things they individually want to, and spend Christmas apart so they can be with their respective parents. Marriage doesn’t have to conform to a socially expected picture.

I just want people I care about to be happy and fulfilled. That looks different for everyone.

Honestly if I heard a couple were doing this, I'd assume their relationship was in trouble...