Would you be concerned, as this woman's mother?

[Eisas]

Or thinking you go girl?

She's an adult, so there's nothing to be done and nothing to be said, but that doesn't stop mum worrying.

Mid 30s, married just over a year. Both have very good jobs, as well as family money, and a lifestyle most could only dream of.

Woman is to go travelling, without DH, for 6 months. He'll met her for the last two weeks. The plan is to start a family when she gets back.

I'm all for adventure,l and independance, but it seems strange to me to voluntarily be away from your new husband for so long, at the same time as planning a family.

Otoh, their life is so different to anything I know, maybe it's me.

I can understand couples who have been married for years taking holidays apart if they like different types of holidays or they’re hobby related ( though not for six months) but it does seem odd for a newly wed to do this at a time when they are establishing themselves as a married couple. It does sound as if she’s dissatisfied.

I think there's a massive difference between holidaying seperately for a week or two and setting off on a 6 month trip without your new husband.

Exactly

I wasn’t saying they’re the same. I was saying broaden your mind.

Or talk to your daughter, perhaps. She probably knows more about what’s going on than we do…

@Allseeingallknowing meh, I dont see a functioning adult as a tie?

It’s a commitment though, and six months is a hell of a time to be away. It’s very odd. Some going on here?

A DOG is a tie, a husband is a choice. You are not surgically attached to one another by the celebrant...

Concerned about what? If she has decided she doesn't like him anymore but rather than splitting she'll go travelling for months to distance herself and then dump him from afar?

If that's the case it's her life and her decision. Cold hearted and cowardly as it may be.

If it's not the case then there's nothing to be concerned about. It's a private arrangement between her and her husband. No-one else needs an opinion on the subject.

OP wants to know, and I’d certainly be concerned if it were my daughter.

Concerned she doesn't love her husband anymore?

Possibly

Some of my very best friends did pretty much exactly this. Number 2 currently on the way.

I don't see why that's a concern. People change their minds about relationships all the time. If I was her mum I'd want her to do whatever she felt would make her happy. Her relationship or lack of with her husband would not be my priority. If it wasn't hers.

I could understand if this was in retirement, pursuing a long term desire, but what’s so important that a partner would want to leave her newish husband for such a long time? Presumably she had the chance to travel before marriage. The timing seems so odd to me.

It's their life and their choice how they live it. You don't have to agree or approve, but keep that to yourself as your feelings are not theirs to hold.

I'd possibly pass a remark to a close friend that it was "odd" to go off gallivanting for 6 months without your DH but to be honest, that's because I'd be green with envy that I can't bugger off on my own for 6 months.

If it was my DD, I'd definitely not be "worried" about her but would indeed think "you go girl (lucky bitch)".

Obviously something she’s always wanted to do and sounds like it’s now or never. Once she starts a family then likely won’t get another opportunity. Maybe DH and doesn’t share the same desire to travel, or can’t / doesn’t want to pause his career. If she has the chance then why not go for it, she’ll only regret it if is she doesn’t go.

I actually think that sounds really balanced.

As most of the child raising falls on the woman naturally for the first 6 months - maternity and especially if EBF she gets some freedom to explore before this.

Is she going somewhere specific that she has a particular reason to go to? Or just off on a random jolly sowing her wild oats? I guess if her DH is OK with it, it's no one else's business.

I would say: you go girl!
Looks like it's her last hurrah before she settles down. If her husband is ok with this then why not. I mean, it is 21st century after all.

On the other hand if this will break the marriage then probably better that this happens before kids not after.

Either way it's win win.

Seems a bit strange, I thought the idea of going travelling was to do it before you settled into career/marriage etc.
Not that I would know, I never did it 😉

Are you the mother OP? I do get why you may have some questions/concerns if so…but honestly, it’s ultimately none of your business.

I’ve not RTFT, only the OP’s posts, but I think this PP echoes my own thoughts. Why are we so limited in how we deal with relationships? Why does it always have to be so narrow? We’ve got such a tiny span on this earth, we should just live how the fuck we want (so long as we don’t scare the horses).

Why?

Sounds really sensible … if she has friends with kids she’ll know that kind of travel is probably off the agenda for a while for most people with school commitments etc. By the time she has another chance she could be two decades older. Go for it!