What do you prefer when buying a house?

[CVVFan]

I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority group that prefer either houses that are ready to move in or that are liveable for at least 2-3 years. I never buy based on a vision/project/putting my stamp on it.

We’re selling our house in 4 years, and quite frankly as much as it’s liveable for whoever buys it, it does look outdated.

I think we’re already on negative equity, so we think we’ll at least need to refresh the kitchen somehow (and possibly the bathrooms) the question is how much work is it sensible considering we’re selling it? The whole pint of the remedial work would be to sell it faster and not get cheeky offers because to some it might look more like a project than a liveable house.

Unfortunately in the interim you met a man with kids and on NMW and had a baby with him, and transpires he’s an inconsiderate tool.

Im with the rest on here - wishing you all the best and good luck

He’s not inconsiderate, he’s if anything the one who’s made it bearable!

and thanks to him (and his help!) I’ve been able to progress in my career. Supporting with all the travel abroad, school runs, etc…

besides he was NMW when we moved to this house, but not anymore.

he’s genuinely a good husband and dad, just he’s a procrastinator, but nobody is perfect!

What a dilemma! Spend money on something you know that is already worth less than what you bought it for
versus
4 years in a property you hate, in an area you hate, WFH, which you hate.

You need a big hug OP.

Thank you !

4 kids
moving to a 3 bed
I am guessing they won’t be coming back for university holidays and post degree at 21… moving out

I am afraid that consideration alone would stop me. Given the way the world is and direction of travel re AI, the job market is not favourable and I want my young adult children to know that they have a base during and after uni.

In that sense it’s unfortunate for them, they can sleep in the living room if they need, but I’ve had to semi put my career on stand by for them, so in that sense it sucks to be them! Besides they have their other parents they can go to.

By the sounds of it they are used to pretty…. cosy accommodation and lots of people in a relatively small space, so maybe not too bad. At the moment though, I don’t suppose they imagine it happening anyway.

Why wouldn’t they? We’ve had long chats with their respective parents, and the “big move” is something we regularly talk about. We’ve always fulfilled all the promises to them, so they wouldn’t think otherwise

I have read the thread Op. That informs my opinion.

Anyway like everyone else it would seem 🤷‍♀️

It is what it is.

I mean I’ve lived in 5 countries in my life across different continents (all my own decision) so I can’t see why I wouldn’t be able to move once the time comes, but whatevs

And yet for the past 14 years have languished in a house and local area that you “hate”

How old are you OP?!

I actually wanted to leave but everybody told me I would destroy my daughter’a childhood and yadda yadda yadda as I would leave her behind. (And by everyone I mean the wisdom of MN as I had zero friends and my DM said I should just move away without her as I wouldn’t have been the first one nor the last one).

So instead I tried to find the beauty in my situation, and thus found my current husband.

You wanted to leave your young daughter?

Well yes Op I’d have been with mumsnet on that one.

No friends? 😞

How do you know your dc will move out? How do you know dc will go to university?
We put a beautiful bathroom in our house then very unexpectedly had to move house. The first thing the new owners did was rip it out. It just wasn’t to their taste. You are best leaving stuff and pricing accordingly.

Exactly! That’s the only way to have been able to leave, by leaving my daughter behind.

I obviously chose to stay, but it’s really between a rock and a hard place.

And no, since I moved I never had any friends (locally) until fairly recently in the grand scheme of things.

They’re always welcome to stay with their other parents, as simple as that :)

Goodness this all sounds a bit… shit. No advice I’m afraid but what an insight in to the OP’s life. We have covered every base in this thread and I read the other (very disturbing one regarding your DM) thread mentioned upthread too.

You deserve a break.

Thank you! And it’s true there have been times when I’ve really needed a break, but for the past 3 years I’ve been living the most peaceful and fulfilling life I’ve ever lived.

Tbh that’s a bit depressing given you say you hate your home and spend as much time as possible out of it.

And hate WFH

And of course…. Your vile mother

You don’t know my life. If you knew it, you’d understand. My mother is not vile, please don’t refer to her in that way. She’s done her best given the Loire she’s had.

Op I read the other thread

Every single poster was dumbstruck at how appalling your mother is. Without exception.

But they don’t know the whole story either. It’s literally a miracle she’s alive (and no it wasn’t because of disease or an accident).

plus there’s another layer of cultural nuances that this audience doesn’t get.

As I say, you deserve a break in life

I agree! But at the same time you kind of get used to it and enjoy the small subtleties of life.

Up until not that long ago, I was miserable because I thought I deserved better, but felt trapped with how life had turned out.

So instead of I realised that everything in my life has been a choice (maybe the alternative was worse) but I still had a choice.

The thing I don’t like just became minimal background noise (like saying that my favourite colour is purple, it’s just a statement of fact) but didn’t let that affect my moods.

Since then, I’ve enjoyed life a lot more, but it doesn’t mean I aspire, and I’m working towards something different.