What do you prefer when buying a house?

[CVVFan]

I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority group that prefer either houses that are ready to move in or that are liveable for at least 2-3 years. I never buy based on a vision/project/putting my stamp on it.

We’re selling our house in 4 years, and quite frankly as much as it’s liveable for whoever buys it, it does look outdated.

I think we’re already on negative equity, so we think we’ll at least need to refresh the kitchen somehow (and possibly the bathrooms) the question is how much work is it sensible considering we’re selling it? The whole pint of the remedial work would be to sell it faster and not get cheeky offers because to some it might look more like a project than a liveable house.

Why are you taking screening tests?

when is your autism assessment?

For my initial assessment I had to take a few.

Yesterday I actually had to do one to sign up for a work perk (mh related but includes other things)

It’s a miracle. I think 14 years of what you describe plus knowing another 4 years ahead… would have broken most. Plus your husband sounds…. A let down

And you don’t even have the garage conversion to focus on that would improve things for you, albeit probably reduce value of property

Are you getting privately assessed?

I think it’s just down to the fact that I’ve been through a lot worse. This is literally nothing in comparison.

I’ll have to switch to RTC after they told me (last week!) that the wait is now 3 years!!

I'm looking at my options, and I messaged one this morning.

What’s RTC?

Is this something you are pursuing because you suspect to be the case? Or have others suggested?

Describing yourself as having “zero empathy” plus how you describe your home and work must make depression a very real risk, and I hope you have people looking out for you (who do feel empathy!)

RTC = Right to Choose

and no, this is out of my own accord.

but now the last I was depressed was like 8 years ago or so, and it was environmental reasons (redundancy).

I am on your thread where you said you nearly had a mental health breakdown when your mother last visited. Was that last year?

Was that redundancy when you were made redundant on day of exchange?

That was three years ago, and that was my sister not my mother. I had anxiety not depression.

Oh no, a different one! That one quite frankly I did OK

You are all over the place

Yes and that comment was about my sister, so I don’t see how I’m all over the place?

I read that thread from start to finish.

It is all very disturbing and then to read this one too just… well it explains a lot but also makes me feel sad for you and for your children.

I really hope that a diagnosis will give you some support

All my kiddos objectively are living a much better life than I ever did (from a family POV) so to me that’s a massive win.

You say you have zero empathy for anyone op , does that include your children?

I have a lot of sympathy, and some empathy (when I can actually relate).

Sympathy for your children? Why?

Why not? Sympathy it’s not just about feeling pity or compassion, or to quote:

Sympathy is a reaction from a caring third-person perspective (Darwall, 1998). It involves feeling happy for another when something good happens to her and sad for her when something bad happens to her (Maibom, 2017, p. 2).

Ok so zero empathy
but you can feel sympathy
Got it

What do you do over the weekends when everyone is home? I know you said you spend as much time as possible out of the home, doing what?

With so many kiddos it’s normally split between, taking them to different social activities, weekly shop, going on the high street, woodland wallows, or going on little excursions. Last week went to a a farmers market with food stalls. It was all indoors and that took most of the day.

Great,

although will be nice to finally have a home whereby you enjoy being at home rather than trying to eek time out of it.

4 years and counting!

You haven’t had a sanctuary or even a pleasant working environment for the past 14 years and still have another 4 to go.

You are far and away the breadwinner, and yet your partner can’t even be arsed to book in the one thing that may improve your home and work life.

Your pretty ghastly sounding DM stays with you for 3 months every year. Kipping in with your 6 year old, which ALSO serves as your office

This is totally shit Op.