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Original poster

Is anyone on here fussed about status in life? Like what Car or House they have etc?

208 replies

Benny91 · 11/09/2025 20:29

As I live in South Surrey and all I’m seeing and hearing is people driving brand new cars and also being picky what house to live in. (It’s like they’ve got to show off to fit in with their friends and family!)

As with me I’m not fussy about any status in life and I’m happy with what I’ve got!

This is obviously quite common in Surrey. Does anyone else live there and likes to show off their status?

OP posts:
FluffyDiplodocus · 13/09/2025 17:15

I’m fairly conscious that my house (from the outside) is quite shabby looking and my car isn’t great. I do worry that we’ll be negatively judged when DD goes to secondary school and her friends parents don’t know us like at primary! But not worried enough to get into debt over improving it.

Rallentanda · 13/09/2025 17:25

Our car is about 10 years old so no.

But I do like my house to be nice. As in, what's nice to me, and my taste is kind of super middle class if I'm honest. I think one reason is that the house I grew up in was very meagre. The carpets were horrible, and every surface felt cold, and wrong somehow. An unhappy place. Terrible lighting.

I am very fussy for myself that my home environment 'feels right' and I don't really know how to explain that, it's like surfaces have a feeling in my brain?

I don't particularly care for status, I mean I don't have any interest in being around those sorts of people so it essentially doesn't matter.

We also travel quite a bit and if I were to talk about that, people would think I was showing off. I just love seeing new places, I've got a bit of money now, and I enjoy the memories. Again, this wasn't how things were when I was growing up.

AprilinPortugal · 14/09/2025 07:48

I couldn't care less about status ...I drive a two-seater Smart car for starters! I'm more interested in where I'm going to travel to next Smile

Onionringsforbreakfast · 14/09/2025 07:49

Not fussed at all

Ironically, I live in probably one of the best houses in our town - but drive one of the most rubbish cars!

Wonderwall23 · 14/09/2025 08:00

Car-wise I prefer to buy an average car outright (think Ford Focus or similar), about a year old, keep for 10 years then start again.

I think the car debate is actually really interesting because I think not so long ago there would be a real sense of snobbery around cars...the old anecdote of a high end car being looked down on as 'new money' and the genuinely posh having an old banger. I think this is now an outdated concept as the way people of all financial backgrounds seem to lease cars has become more of the norm.

House-wise we hope to move soon and I'd definitely say I'm going for area over house so I think I am a bit snobby. But we could afford something more grand and we're not going to. We'd rather keep back money for DS's future and as no one will know or notice this I don't consider myself that showy.

lilkitten · 14/09/2025 11:19

No, I couldn't care less. I work in my own business (bespoke goldsmithing) and money is very inconsistent, and I own a small house. My mum always wanted me to have a better paid job so I could get a bigger house, but seemingly because she would like her friends to know I was doing well, rather than for my benefit (she's very aspirational and has done well). But I've paid off the mortgage, so I'm happy with my little house and zero debt, even if I don't earn as much as other people.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 14/09/2025 15:45

Does this question apply only to people who live in Surrey?

olivehater · 14/09/2025 17:56

To the person that said about sending their kids to state school and driving nice cars being twats.
Personally I think the majority of people that send their kids to private schools are twats. I’d rather have a nice car and send my kids to school with nice normal people whose parents are teachers, drs and engineers. The kids that go to private school near me are little snobs and their parents are mostly gobby dads on trophy wife number three.

RosesAndHellebores · 14/09/2025 18:14

Gosh @olivehater, where do you live? The private school parents I met when my DC went weren't gobby dads on their third trophy wife, they were generally hard working, stayed married couples whose occupations were doctors, engineers, lawyers, accountants, etc. At least half the dc had two working parents. The children weren't snobby either.

When dd attended a state holy grail secondary for two years a significant minority of children were aggressive and disruptive, there was a much higher rate of divorce and there was an informal division between the nice children from nice families and the frankly dysfunctional.

I wouldn’t go so far as to generalise.

harryhole · 14/09/2025 18:23

OP don't forget 40 to 50% of adults who drive around in massive SUVs and brand new cars don't own them.

notnowfred · 14/09/2025 20:27

RosesAndHellebores · 14/09/2025 18:14

Gosh @olivehater, where do you live? The private school parents I met when my DC went weren't gobby dads on their third trophy wife, they were generally hard working, stayed married couples whose occupations were doctors, engineers, lawyers, accountants, etc. At least half the dc had two working parents. The children weren't snobby either.

When dd attended a state holy grail secondary for two years a significant minority of children were aggressive and disruptive, there was a much higher rate of divorce and there was an informal division between the nice children from nice families and the frankly dysfunctional.

I wouldn’t go so far as to generalise.

Edited

I'm amazed you have such detailed information on divorce rates of parents at different schools. I wouldn't know where to start on analysing that kind of info fairly - have you done a survey?

notnowfred · 14/09/2025 20:28

harryhole · 14/09/2025 18:23

OP don't forget 40 to 50% of adults who drive around in massive SUVs and brand new cars don't own them.

What difference does that make? What's your point?

pinkbackground · 14/09/2025 20:29

Don’t care at all. Got a mediocre house and old car but they’re both paid for so that’s good enough for me.

Confusedhormonal · 14/09/2025 20:40

I don’t care about my social status and not showy. I wanted to live in a nice house and have it decorated to my tastes and drive a decent car. I eat nice food and go on nice holidays. But I work hard and earn a decent wage. This is done for me, but I wouldn’t say I am any different than my friends.

I lived happily in a run down flat in the bad part of town with old cars for 16 years saving up to live in my forever house.

DP is more worried about status. He grew up with no money and worked hard to earn his wage. He wants nice things now as he can.

but I would say we are bothered or showy. It’s cause we can

willstarttomorrow · 14/09/2025 20:53

OP, my parents moved me from inner London to Surrey (Guildford) in my tweens and I was off to uni in London and then to uni in then postgrad in the amazing northern city I have lived in since. I am definitely looked down on, as is my daughter who has been born and raised here and has the accent. We have 5 universities, an opera, ballet and award winning theatres which I can get to from my average semi in a nice (but not mumsnet approved area) on the bus in 20 minutes. There is a huge amount of snobbery, although people deny it. I drive an old car owned outright (2013 Skoda which never goes wrong) and my house is just a 1930s semi. But my mortgage was paid off when I was 39, which was lucky as DH died v suddenly and we have been on a single income ever since. Many people who want the trappings put a lot on credit. I find the idea of paying hundreds a month for a car you will never own and just goes down in value crazy.

harryhole · 14/09/2025 21:48

notnowfred · 14/09/2025 20:28

What difference does that make? What's your point?

Show quote history

My point is that almost half the country doesn't actually own the car they drive. So it might be flashy but it's not actually theirs. They rent it.

notnowfred · 14/09/2025 22:14

But they can afford to rent it - so who cares? Having a company car is a joy / no hassles of ownership at all, someone else is responsible for the insurance tax and repairs. It’s not for everyone but rent or buy its utterly irrelevant. It’s your money that pays for the use of the car.

WilderHawthorn · 14/09/2025 22:44

I’m a low-level judger. I don’t care what you drive, but I do notice people’s homes in terms of non-monetary things. Such as weeds on the drive, dirty windows, grubby/unclear interior. I couldn’t give a shit if you live in a studio apartment or a mansion, as long as it’s clean and welcoming

SquaredPaper · 14/09/2025 22:53

harryhole · 14/09/2025 21:48

My point is that almost half the country doesn't actually own the car they drive. So it might be flashy but it's not actually theirs. They rent it.

Show quote history

Yeah, well, the same is true for everyone with a mortgage. By that metric, I don’t own my house, the bank does, so I’m living beyond my means or something?

SparklingRivers · 14/09/2025 23:01

We have a big house because we have 3DC and 2 step DC 50% so need the space. Had an extension to make a 5th bedroom upstairs and 6th bedroom downstairs before DC3.
Also have a 7 seater large car for the same reason.

I don't think we really flaunt wealth. Step DC are teens so want some designer clothes like white fox, but younger DC wear supermarket brands, h and m basics and primark. Me and DH have mostly old clothes with occasional highstreet extras.

I don't think houses and cars are for showing off unless it's an impractical sports car. It's about comfort and practicality, especially with houses, if you can afford a nicer one it's always going to be the preferable choice for lifestyle rather than appearances.

leadedwindows · 14/09/2025 23:11

Not bothered. Just care about people close to me and animals and trying to stay healthy.

Sgtmajormummy · 14/09/2025 23:29

Company cars are definitely “fur coat and no knickers” territory.

No way could we afford the kind of car DH gets as a perk of his job. Mercedes, BMW S5, Audi… 😎

notnowfred · 15/09/2025 10:56

Sgtmajormummy · 14/09/2025 23:29

Company cars are definitely “fur coat and no knickers” territory.

No way could we afford the kind of car DH gets as a perk of his job. Mercedes, BMW S5, Audi… 😎

Getting a company car is like getting any car - assess your needs and choose a make and model. We've never had a premium car. We had a Fiat Punto, a Mazda 6 and a Fiesta - not much to boast about, but the option was certainly useful in managing our cash reserves, which were better used to add to a house deposit/purchase on one occasion. The other advantage with company cars is that if you get an EV they are great value for money as they are very tax efficient and lastly for us, anyone could drive the company car - even the 18-year-old and that saved quite a bit on insurance. So, you can certainly get a Mercedes, but it's not all about going premium - it can save you quite a bit depending on the choices you make.

scandinavianyellow · 15/09/2025 17:20

I live near Essex. A lot of that here too.

FelicitysSweetOrchard · 15/09/2025 17:39

The wealthiest people I know drive an old banger and wear ordinary clothes