Is anyone on here fussed about status in life? Like what Car or House they have etc?

[Benny91]

As I live in South Surrey and all I’m seeing and hearing is people driving brand new cars and also being picky what house to live in. (It’s like they’ve got to show off to fit in with their friends and family!)

As with me I’m not fussy about any status in life and I’m happy with what I’ve got!

This is obviously quite common in Surrey. Does anyone else live there and likes to show off their status?

I judge people by what car they drive.

Mostly because they are up-themselves wankers who think I'm stupid enough to be impressed by a flashy Loadsamoney car, when actually I think they are dickheads to waste so much money on getting from A to B.

All the more so when the vehicle in question is a fugly great lump with the same colour and charm as their wheelie bin.

We live in a sought after market town in commuter belt heaven.
Our house is one of the largest ones (out of 12) on the street, but not as "smart" as the others.
Our cars are 6 and 8 years old but owned outright.
We are definitely letting the side down 🤭

I live in (what I think) is a beautiful period home, I drive a RR and enjoy several holidays a year. But most of my friends and family live a very similar lifestyle so I certainly don't think any of that accords me special status.

I'm a total snob about paint, soft furnishings and scented candles. But I'm equally very happy to buy clothes off Vinted and love a mooch around charity shops and car boots. I particularly like browsing for unusual photo frames, quality hard back books and studio pottery.

I don't aspire to any of that flashy Dubai, designer dog, facial filler, designer handbag, must have latest i-Phone malarkey, which so many equate with status.

Status is a tricky, slippery concept. We all seek acceptance by our peers at some level - and that might be gained by outwardly rejecting certain ‘symbols’ - there’s often as much status to be gained by what you reject as by what you posses.

DH and I camp a lot. That’s not exactly high status - but it wins us points among our friends who also camp and who reject ‘fancy’ holidays. My dad loves to hear about our camping holidays - far more than he would about a cruise or something - because it fonts his values. Snobbery works in all directions - as is clear in the sneering in this thread.

No i think its a bit “ chav” tbh. I drive a small cheap to run car that suits my needs and my home is just a regular house. I always find that people who need to have the nicest or latest of everything are a bit insecure and think that it gives them some sort of status.

And just to add i live in a very posh Home Counties town and anyone who drives a Range Rover around here is usually a drug dealer or criminal!

No, I think that sort of talk is trashy and shows a lack of class.

Im not bothered at all. We live on a new build development and everyone i know has a big house and brand new cars.
Ive recently got a better car but I had an 08 plate and we live in a small 2 bed and my 2 sons share a room.
Im teaching my children it doesn't matter what material things people have but was taken aback in the car the other day as we were dropping my sons friend to a party and he was talking about the size of people's houses and cars and comparing people we know.
It made me wonder if at 11 he is judging us too.
I thought it was sad and shallow and said it doesn't matter what house or cars people have and he stopped but I worry that attitude is being projected onto my son by him and could leave him feeling like we're inadequate.

We are a high income household, have a big house in the country and have a big car but when I’m in the supermarket no one knows what house I live in or what it looks like, so what status do I actually have?

Our friends and family know we don’t care about status and aren’t trying to impress anyone.

However do I want to live in a shithole house in a run down area and drive a clipped out old banger? No I don’t, but there’s a happy medium.

“Beware of overconcern for money, or position, or glory. Someday you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. Then you will know how poor you are.”

We bought our first brand new vehicle a few years ago, wouldnt have another new vehicle.Our house has taken us many, many years to get to what we wanted and is owned outright. Mumsnet would be horrified at our decor, we love it. We are not rich, not poor either, our adult children are happy and doing well and we are happy with our lot. I realy do not give a flying doodah about what anyone else thinks.

Couldn't care less about status. I own neither a house nor a car.

I could not care less...

I don't have car, I live in an old terrace house and get most of my clothes from charity shops.

I am just happy being able to pay my mortgage and live in a nice little town.
I value my health and freedom more than anything else.

I am also happy in myself and don' t feel the need to show off/ compete with anyone.

Why? Why do you care?

Isn't is just a Surrey thing?

I live in a small house with a mortgage but it's decorated to my taste and things get fixed ehen they break. I drive an 8 year old Nissan that I'll probably have until it falls apart. We have a straight up mongrel rather than a popular breed. I absolutely give no thought to what people think of my car or home, but it's important to me to be comfortable.

However, I spend every spare penny on holidays. I'm in no position to judge anyone who spends differently as my holiday bill is ginormous. No holidays next year due to other upcoming expenses 😞

I care more than I should, but not as much as some.

I have a lovely big 5 bedroom detached home and the stereotypical white SUV with personalised plate. The doodle dog. Two gorgeous kids. We travel multiple times a year. My hair is styled to within an inch of its life, I maintain a petite size 6 figure. I have a degree. I have a job that pays me well. We have 6 figures savings.

Am I happy? LOL.

If it wasn’t for the children I’d live how I wanted - probably in a small apartment with no dog, a little cute car and I’d live life for me.

My sister and I are polar opposite. I have what I need. A two bed villa, decent backyard, complex has a lovely pool. Neighbours are lovely, quiet, long term. I buy a new car every 15 years or so - just bought my 3rd since starting my first job. They tend to do around 300k kms before I trade them in.

My sister on the other hand has had more new cars than I can remember (many of the "expensive" variety), big houses etc etc She's very much into appearances and money. Her children have the same attitude and look down their noses at where I live. As I say to them it's perfect for me as I can only use one room at a time and I fully utilise every room these days.

When looking for my new car I deliberately didn't buy the brand my sister has as she'd just be comparing. She did that anyway. For example my front seats are lovely with a nice wrap around. She had to say her car is similar, but the wrap around is adjustable - just shitty little picks and criticisms like that to be "better". She's actually now getting another new car, because you know, I've got a new one and we can't have that.

So I totally get what you mean. Some people care about how they look to the outside world and spend a lot of effort and money to look a certain way. Other people have what they need but not to excess. Buy things because it makes them happy, irrespective of how it looks to others. I know which camp I prefer to be in.

Yes about the house but not because of status. I just need my house to be aesthetically pleasing because that gives me joy. I couldn't give a toss what anyone else thinks about it.. but I love beautiful victorian or Georgian houses.

Cars I don't have a faintest idea about. As long as it doesn't break down and is comfortable to sit in.

We are in the north west and not mn 6 figure high earners so my opinion probably doesn’t count and I am probably projecting my own personal family situation
I don’t think I care about status or what people think I like the house and area we live in we probably should have moved to a bigger house when dc were younger but I was risk adverse prioritised dc doing activities going on holiday and I worked part time when they were younger as dh worked permanent nights

i drive an old low mileage car nothing wrong with it i could go and buy a Range Rover or something but i wfh i did 1000 miles in a year and that was because i had 2 longer journeys that year due to dc being at festival dh probably having a midlife crises has a car he likes not very practical and a motor bike so until my paid for car causes my problems I would rather keep it and keep my money in the bank

my not so dsis we are now nc is the exact opposite she feels she needs to prove to everyone she is happy and successful by materialistic things like a flash car oddly she chose the same brand as dh mentioned he was planning on buying hers is on finance like everything we paid cash she was apparently due a new car as her previous one the finance was paid off no it wasn’t she took out a another remortgage to clear the finance as she was in arrears I printed off the paperwork house improvements holidays she’s up to her eyes in debt dm has bailed her out all her adult life

I am happy content have financial security of which I am very grateful for when so many people are struggling and unlike my dsis I am not living a lie trying to impress people

I love my car. I like it because I like it but it’s also nice when someone says that’s a nice car. Does that make me shallow? Don’t care. I like it.

I think most people on here are being disingenuous. Everyone cares about status / being treated with respect. However conspicuous consumption and being 'flashy' is not associated with high status, particularly if you have high status in other ways. So while you might not care about how new your car is you may well care about e.g. the accent your children have, whether they know how to pronounce water 'correctly', what friends they make, and which university they go to (to list some regular threads we see on here).

You wouldn't want to live in a run down house you were embarrassed to invite your friends round to, or to not be able to afford a car at all, or live in an area you consider to be lower status (e.g. see the threads where some southerners slag off the north for having no multiculturalism or job opportunities or culture).

Your neighbours either can more easily afford the things you consider 'flashy' or have different priorities than you and so choose to spend their disposable cash in different ways, that is all.

Ooh I think I sit somewhere in the middle. I hate big flashy SUVs which all my neighbours seem to drive (in London), but I like having a nice house, and I do slightly covet the nicer houses on the street behind. I love nice clothes, make up, bags etc but while I might buy a Mulberry, or Polene bag for example, I couldn’t bring myself to spend the money on say a Loewe puzzle, which I do love the look of but feel it’s too much. Mostly I’m quite happy with my lot!

Wind back 10 years, maybe. I probably felt like big thing = success. Although fancy cars are not my thing. Now I kind of feel sorry for those who think that as it clearly comes from a place of insecurity. In my 30s that was me. We earn well but live in a modest house with one modest car, far below our means if you like. We have chosen instead of flash to educate eldest privately and plough money into our pensions so we can retire as soon as we can.
I understand everyone’s different but these things feel like better uses of our money than to impress others.