Is anyone on here fussed about status in life? Like what Car or House they have etc?

[Benny91]

As I live in South Surrey and all I’m seeing and hearing is people driving brand new cars and also being picky what house to live in. (It’s like they’ve got to show off to fit in with their friends and family!)

As with me I’m not fussy about any status in life and I’m happy with what I’ve got!

This is obviously quite common in Surrey. Does anyone else live there and likes to show off their status?

Not the car, mines is over 20 years old. But I’m struggling with the definition of status when it comes to where you live.

for example I was very happy 8 years ago to have people round. Less so now as everything has broken all at once and can’t afford to fix it.

Im happy to TELL people that, have no qualms about sharing we don’t have money and stuff has broken but invite them round? Nope

My cars need to be reliable and tidy. My ex was always pushing me to have a newer shinier car but I wasn't bothered.

My house is my safe space though. I spend time there relaxing. I have a teen ds who needs to feel happy there and is willing to bring his friends.

I enjoy interior design and gardening so I tend to spend money on my home, and on decent quality clothes that last.

Glamorous holidays are not important to me.

I used to live in a suburb like this. Lots of premiership footballers, private roads, old money etc, you are judged on the house and car you own and also which school your kids go to. I found it very tedious and shallow, also very Conservative. I also worked amongst the community there and can truly say in all the places I have worked they were the most difficult in terms of expectations, rudeness and demands. I moved a few years ago to a 'quirky' market town which is the polar opposite and it is bloody wonderful.

Everyone knows that brand new cars are mainly rented. More class in a well kept older BMW….my kids to go a private school and the seriously well off do not drive the spanking new plates!

Not with cars (although I’m a weirdo, I have three but none are new). Do have a fairly large house with some land. But that’s not status, it’s enjoyment.

😀

I have four degrees and I’d be considerably more impressed by a crow pose or a good headstand than a doctorate.

(I have a large, rambling, but battered house, and don’t own a car. The only time I lived somewhere status-conscious, I didn’t really realise it at the time, but looking back, I can see that, given that the school run parents knew we were comfortably off, they were puzzled we didn’t do what we were ‘supposed to’ with our income — why did I cycle and use public transport? Why didn’t we have a Quooker tap? Etc.

I was pretty much seen as deviant when I worked in a law firm in that area, because I drove a small and unexciting car.
But I can think of a million things I would rather spend my money on than a car

Pretty much anyone can rent a flashy car

All my family are wealthy and none of them drive expensive cars. We do have chunky pensions and investments and nice holidays etc though

How do you know its status as opposed to ooh that house is gorgeous? We bought a new car years ago on hp because we’d had three ‘whatever we could afford’ cars and realised every car only lasted a few years, that it wasn’t normal to be used to cars breaking down or having hundreds of thousands mileage on it. I loved that for three whole years had anything happened we had access to a garage as opposed to a week of waiting and being told ‘I don’t know if it can make it!!!’

Yes, cars are boring. I don’t own one, but all I can imagine wanting in one is something reliable that goes when you turn it on.

We always get new cars but mainly because as a community nurse my car is my office and I need something reliable preferably with warranty but not to keep up with anyone else

Who wouldn't be picky about house? Spending hundreds of thousands, one should be picky

Oh God I used to work in this sort of area (Cheshire) couldn't bear it. So superficial.
I now live on a road where it's a mix of council and private and larger private housing. We have an interesting car thing going on that the council housing (both bought and still council) tenants have all the flash cars.
I have zero interest in flash anything and spend all my money on holidays (not flash but lots) and gigs.

Have a nice house as we wanted a nice house in a good area to bring up our family
Now they are adults I have a nice car as I don’t need a big practical car
I work 11 hour day and it lifts me when I see my car when I leave work
Dont see any of it as a status thing,can afford it all etc

I think that’s fair. I mean, it’s the biggest thing most of us will ever buy, involves taking on an enormous debt, and we have to live in it! ‘Picky’ doesn’t seem at all unreasonable to me.

Exactly!
And I have to use a car due to disability so my priority is one that I can park even in 80% of a parking space (due to people who park like nobs) and one that was as low impact on the environment as possible.
Also we live down country lanes and a little car fits down them much better than the huge suburban SUVs.

Nope, but years ago I did wonder how some people managed to have such status symbols without the obvious careers to support them.

As we approach retirement, I now understand how.

The ability to be picky on your house could be seen as showing off because most people it’s not about the fine detail and being picky but trading off the basics ?

it might be how it’s perceived d

No and I find it utterly bizarre when people feel like certain things give them status. Round here I've noticed some people seem to think owning/buying a new build gives them status. I just see them as overpriced (and often shoddily built) houses. They'll even sell their 'old' new build for a new, new build to retain the 'status' (and obviously tell everyone about it which I think is the key part of knowing it's about status). I don't think everyone buying flashy cars/watches/new builds or whatever does it for the status. In fact those doing it for the status are probably the ones who can't really afford it. Most people are just getting on with life, it's those who brag because they think it impresses people who tend to be all about the status imo.

Could I say the word status anymore 🤣

I couldn’t care less tbh. I’m currently driving my dd’s battered Vauxhall Adam as she is off to uni and won’t need it. Dh on the other hand is completely weird about cars and has to have BMW this or Audi that. He can afford it so fine but it baffles me. I have a friend who cannot afford it but won’t drive anything other than an Audi big tractor type as I think of it. Which baffles me even more.
with re house-I don’t care about if being big or flashy. My ideal would be very old.

Everyone knows that brand new cars are mainly rented. More class in a well kept older BMW….my kids to go a private school and the seriously well off do not drive the spanking new plates!

There are definitely some people with serious money who do like spanking new plates & £££ cars.

Couldn't give a shit tbh

We live in a wealthy area DDs friends families are obviously quite wealthy.

But it's weird....all their houses are basically the same (massive open plan kitchen/dining/living), they all drive 24/25plate SUVs/land rovers that are black, the mums all wear ADA hoodies and leggings, they all wear New Balance trainers in white, they all go on holiday to the same countries...

I live in a small ex council terrace, drive a 2010 Corsa, wear supermarket clothes and go on holiday to the seaside in Cornwall. I could join the crowd, but can't be bothered keeping up.

But they're all lovely.

No. I’ve never been interested in the ‘must have’s. It caused me grief as a teenager- lots of bullying for not being cool because I didn’t have the same stuff as everyone else. If it was stuff I liked I’d get it (which didn't help because the comments then were “oh look, trying to fit in now are you? Just because we’ve all got this you had to go and get it too - talk about try hard”) but if I wasn’t bothered I didn’t waste my
money.

What I have now is dictated by the life I lead and what I like to do. I have a nice big estate car because I have dogs and we often drive long distances and I can fit the dogs and kids in and drive in comfort. My house is plenty big enough - it looks a shambles and there’s loads that needs doing but it’s in a great location (rural, very few neighbours, loads of wildlife and amazing views) and we’ll get round to it eventually. Best of all I’ve got friends who don’t judge!

I care about where I live but I’ve become a bit complacent about cars since having DC. I used to have sports cars, now I’m happy with any brand (although SEAT pissed me off). I’ve taken for granted a new car every three years but I’m paying less than The car allowance I receive.

im from a troubled childhood, I left school at 16 with 8 GCSE’s, from a family with lots of cousins and I’m secretly hugely proud of my home and that I’m the highest earner in the whole family. So maybe that is status? I’m not sure but I do know that I would have been happier with a better home life and security. I hate my home town, live hundreds of miles away

Yes, the highest status symbol is actually a type of curated nonchalance which gives off an aura of "I could afford this if I wanted to, but I don't". It's a lot harder than straight up buying expensive things for other people to see. It's more a status of connections...people know who you are so you don't need to prove anything by having physical things.

I notice that private school dads love talking about cars. Endless discussions about gas vs electric vs hybrid and which ultra luxury brand is making the best car atm. However all of them drive old bangers like PP said, but they could afford one of the new ones if they wanted. So the debate goes on endlessly, sometimes for years, until one of the dads cracks and impulse buys the latest crazy model and all the others applaud him for it.

It's more of a game, just like the rich mums will buy their kids clothes from H&M and not head to toe designer. However if something ultra desirable comes up, like the child requesting a trip to Disneyland or a genuine Labubu, they can easily pull out their wallet or contact list and the child will have it the next day.

i have a brand new car and live in a beautiful house but not to prove anything and definitely don’t have a status.
We have them because we worked hard and wanted them.