Can you get me some Euthanasia tablets?

[OdeToTheNorthWestWind]

Just seen a slightly rattled friend, whose 88 year old mother made the request. After a bit of gentle questioning, she promised to buy her mum some Echinacea tablets to fend off winter bugs, the next time she is in town. 😄

What strange requests have you had?

This is a bit outing, but the head teacher at my son's school once wrote in the school newsletter "Here is the date for the Parent Consolation evening"
Maybe that wasn't a typo.

Yes, but I'm saying that those few of us are probably white and I'm okay with not having clocked an N word joke in writing. Might also be regional - vinegar has a 'nuh' sound as a second syllable where I live, rather than 'nih'.

In my defence we were in Spain and I'd had a drink. My son (not a great linguist) was talking in Finnish to his Finnish father-in-law. I turned to my Finnish daughter-in-law and said, "I love it that they're talking Spinach!"

😂😂😂

😂

MIL when she broke her shower and we went to buy a replacement shower head "oh no, not that one, I prefer a golden shower"

Poor young lad in B&Q, probably on work experience, nearly died 😆.

I once heard a headteacher refer to 'my school's incest days' (she of course meant INSET days).

One of my friends as a child thought that a certain 70s pop star was called Alvin Sawdust.

A woman I know became a carer for a very elderly, sick lady. She told me she loved the job but was always really worried she would have to perform artificial insemination on her, she meant resuscitation

My DF, hard of hearing loves to update you of the news. During Covid he said it was on the news that covid had come off the back of a lorry....he meant come out of a laboratory 🤣

Crying 🤣😂

(If there is anyone, at all, on here that even vaguely knows me, this will out me because there were a lot of people I told…luckily DD finds it hilarious too…now she is older)

Not a request, but, me (and DD2s primary teacher too, tbf) pmsl at parents’ open evening when reading her brilliant project on the:
‘arse of Tutankhamun’.
She’d really embraced cursive writing. 🤣🤣

From a student's essay on infant perception:

'Historically, the main debate has been between the empiricists and the naturists'.

(She meant nativists.)

Years ago, at the Estate Agents the young trainee told me that a house in Blackheath had period features and dildo rails on the walls. It was hard not to burst out laughing. But even funnier was when I asked her if it was Georgian, she said she didn't know the name of the man who owned it!

My dyslexic boyfriend in our youth. I cooked him a meal. His parents were quite traditional so he hadn't tried risotto before. He proudly announced to them that he'd just had Lanzarote.

How could you tell she hadn’t said pawn? They sound the same!

Bought tickets for a children's theatre performance and added to my phone calendar 'Jemima Puddledick' (i is next to u) , tried again and got 'Jemima Puddlefuck' (f is next to d!), managed it on the third attempt, laughing heartily

Maybe it did 😂

I once tuned in to a radio show and was puzzled to hear them talking about cattery musicians, I had a vision of cats lounging around listening to a jazz quartet. It turned out they were talking about Qatari musicians.

My very distressed grandmother once turned up on the doorstep to say that my grandfather had been admitted to hospital and that they were giving him an 'anaemia'. They,however,decided to administer an enema,which was far more effective!

I didn’t even come close to getting it and said it out loud about 20 times

Like in the BFG!

When I was teaching in reception many years ago, we were doing a storyboard of The Ant and The Grasshopper. One wee girl showed me her drawing of the grasshopper at the door of the ants house asking if he could have some food. Gentle discussion followed to find out what her picture was about. She had drawn a speech bubble where the ant had said "no you can't" - she had written "no you cunt". Which tbf also worked.

A coach load of us were out for the day,visiting a linked branch of a women's organisation.Before we went home,our hosts provided a lovely spread in the church hall.A dear lady,completely unaccustomed to public speaking,felt moved to stand up and make an impromptu speech of thanks to our hosts.She began by saying "We would like to thank (-)for the wonderful hostility shown towards us today."The place erupted and the poor thing really didn't know why everyone was laughing.Of course she meant to say 'hospitality'.I really really felt for her and I know what courage it must have taken for her to stand up like that.

I was about to comment that as I child, I called the "dulux" dogs "durex" dogs

My family love still to remind me of this 🤣