Can you get me some Euthanasia tablets?

[OdeToTheNorthWestWind]

Just seen a slightly rattled friend, whose 88 year old mother made the request. After a bit of gentle questioning, she promised to buy her mum some Echinacea tablets to fend off winter bugs, the next time she is in town. 😄

What strange requests have you had?

An aged friend told me she had her dog vaccinated again 'leptosaurus.'
I pictured a dinosaur.
She meant leptospirosis.

Love that. Always good to be protected against extinct reptiles.

I had a new friend at Uni from Ghana. She complained that it was cold in her flat, so I told her to get a hot water bottle from the pound shop.

The next week she told me the hot water bottle hadn't really helped "and the water tasted disgusting!" 😂

Visited a bakery and asked for venerial slices instead of vanilla slices….i still have to pause before I ask because I still say it. Every. Single. Time.

When she young my cousin came to visit me in north Kondon snd said she'd got off the tube at Sturnpike Lation. She meant Turnpike Lane.

My auntie went on holiday to Emphasis with her friend, who now unfortunately has dimension.

I have a friend whose husband's surname is Piles – strangely enough they decided to give their child her surname, not his.

Oh dear typos

I think this might be accent-related...in my accent porn and pawn ("pon") definitely sound different, whereas cucumber and queuecumber do not!

This has really cheered me up. Thanks thread!

Dyslexic mother told me she had bought apache socks for her 3 80 plus year old sisters, they were opaque. I was disappointed.

Whys it called that? That Radio 4 programme.
Why would you call it "Cross Incontinents?"
Its a travel show Mum, and its called "Crossing Continents"
Can't unhear it now

Armpits will forever be armpips in our house, even although my daughter learned the correct word years ago!

A student once emailed me to ask a question about the organism process. Unfortunately she asked about the orgasmic process.

A lady I know commented that the prices were mouthwatering (eye watering.)

🤣 to be fair, considering the speed dirty laundry seems to return to ours I think she might have been right👏👏

exH came back empty handed after an unsuccessful trip to the chemist to get some hayfever meds for me......

''I need some 'amphetamines' for my wife. She's breastfeeding, so can she still take them and if so what do you recommend?''

Used to work at a spa & an older lady told me she’d booked in for a paedophile. She meant pedicure….

My grandad asked for butt plugs in Boots ‘because I’m off to London for the weekend and the hotel might be noisy.’

My 4 year old nephew walked in my kitchen and asked whether I had “cock porn in my secret treat cupboard”. Thank fully he clarified “the cock porn with sugar on it”.

This thread is comedy gold 😂. Thank you all for making me laugh.

As an 11 year old I was out with my family on a canal boat. We were going through a lock and i shouted to my mum "Shall I tie the rope around this bollock?'. I meant bollard and was upset/mortified when everyone absolutely fell about laughing until they cried 😂

Someone I knew years ago had a husband who operated a pneumatic drill and was diagnosed with "tittiness".