Can you get me some Euthanasia tablets?

[OdeToTheNorthWestWind]

Just seen a slightly rattled friend, whose 88 year old mother made the request. After a bit of gentle questioning, she promised to buy her mum some Echinacea tablets to fend off winter bugs, the next time she is in town. 😄

What strange requests have you had?

My grandmother announced that her doctor had diagnosed her with syphilis. We were somewhat surprised until on probing further I realised she meant erysipelas.

If it helps I managed to get the Dutch word for yellow and the Dutch word for horny confused when I lived abroad. Its one of the moments my brain likes to remind me of when I wake up at 3am sometimes.

Ha haha 😄 'Willy bean ' reminds me of a story my freind told me. She was dating a guy for a few weeks and finally, asked him to join her family for dinner at her parents home. They were all sitting chatting and eating when she noticed "Oh! A wee bean " on her boyfriends leg. She went to flick it off when she realised he had a small tear in his trousers and it was a bit of his willy poking through! 😆, They didn't have many more dates after that!,

😂😂😂

The pawn/porn thing is a misspelling in an email rather than a mispronunciation, surely?

My mum insisted on ordering drinks in a French cafe years ago (I spoke French reasonably well back then, she didn't) and instead of asking for "plus de boissons" (more drinks") ordered "plus de bois" ("more wood"). The waiter was genuinely very confused.

*could possibly be heard as "no more drinking", I suppose

This was years ago. I had a puncture on the way to taking the kids to school; being useless called AA so extra long delay. Called both school offices to explain everyone would be late.
Imagine my surprise when DS came home a couple of weeks later and said, "Mum, did you have a punch-up the other day?' Apparently his class teacher had asked at registration (in front of the whole class, obv). It took a few beats before I registered the misunderstanding. Mortified (and baffled).

I'm a teacher. A lovely little girl in my class, who was usually very happy, was very subdued. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, 'I'm sad because my Grandad was crucified'
It took me a good few seconds to realise that she meant cremated.

How odd.

How do you pronounce each of those words to make them quite different?

They also gave us medical terms eg systole and asystole, if you know the Greek words you can decipher medical terms.

When I worked in cardiology we would occasionally have a patient who had been in hospital in Spain or France so obviously the discharge letter was in Spanish or French but we could understand the diagnosis.

My dad asked for Viagra when he meant Voltarol. Pharmacist’s face was a picture.

@TheGreatWesternShrewOoh, if I’m from Bristol does that make my accent erhotic then?

Best thread in ages! Have really enjoyed chortling at these.

I was placing my order in a sandwich shop and asked if my egg mayo and bacon sarnie could be toasted. The girl behind the counter replied:

“No sorry, we cant heat mayonnaise because it causes Semolina”

Have you really never heard a Scot talking? Scottish, and various other accents are ‘rhotic’ - they pronounce the r, sometimes with a distinct roll. So ‘pawn’ is the same as in non rhotic accents but porn would be porr-n.

I find it odd when either some people say they don’t know that these words may be pronounced distinctly differently and others say they don’t know that they can be pronounced the same.

Are you sure they didn't mean Peter O'Toole? 🤭

🤣

In some dialects, the 'r' in 'porn' is pronounced. It's not in my region, but is elsewhere.

I sometimes think mn should have a ‘read and understand’ condition for membership, which would include the existence of rhotic/non rhotic accents. It’s astonishing how often it crops up. Do people not have ears?😂

arthur fritis ,little brother
also tire uck
after 3 he did ok
a little different he thought a black mans skin was chocolate the man was kind about it and they spoke for awhile

My Nanna's friend used to talk about getting her husband a polystyrene shirt, Typhoid tea and there being no detergent against crime.

Put some onions on your bunions.

🎵oh happy days, he washed my sins away🎵 with daz.

This has just reminded me of someone I once knew who had had a stimulated fur coat.