Can you get me some Euthanasia tablets?

[OdeToTheNorthWestWind]

Just seen a slightly rattled friend, whose 88 year old mother made the request. After a bit of gentle questioning, she promised to buy her mum some Echinacea tablets to fend off winter bugs, the next time she is in town. 😄

What strange requests have you had?

My old Detective Sgt wrote a note for me to check the local porn shops for stolen jewellery. I had to tell him, he couldn't keep writing that on every single crime report on the burglary unit 😂😂

My husband rushed me to the hospital when I had Braxton Hicks and said “We think it could be Myers Briggs”

Reminds me of the time my mum asked me for a dildo album for her birthday. She meant Dido…

DS’s friend (age 10) was hyperventilating. I asked if he’d ever had a panic attack, he said ‘no, but I’ve had a heart attack’. He hadn’t!

One year DH said the Christmas Tree looked lovely once Id added the chlamydia. Its lametta you fool 😂

Walked past and old English sheepdog and bf (at the time) mum said OH LOOK IT'S ONE OF THOSE DUREX DOGS

Oooh, I've got one of those - they're awesome. Amazing how much liquid you have to pour down the sink when you use them.

My Mum always says things wrong or accidentally says innuendos without knowing!
She told me once she’d been in the garden trimming her bush and replanting a clitoris (she meant clematis!) 😂😂😂

I was in the office when a service for adults with autism received a GP referral for an adult with asparagus syndrome!

Elderly relative announced in her 80’s she had been “diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome”

Phone call to the Doctor later clarified she was diagnosed with caffeine withdrawal. The same women who smoked like a chimney was also worried about her 6 a day Diet Coke habit and decided to go cold turkey 🤣

This nearly made me wee myself - the most corporate malapropism ever

French mum always said 'willy bean' for wheely bin

Threads like this make me miss the laughing emoji reaction so badly!

When DS was a toddler, I was making sandwiches for him and DH. DS proudly told his daddy that they could have lunch after mama finished "raping the cheese". He meant grating 🙈

My Mum was referring to a woman she knew that had "been diagnosed with bipopular disorder"😂

My dear late nan used to come out with all sorts of funny things. My fave was when my cousins were talking about fishing licenses and one of them made a joke about poaching and she looked him dead in the eye and said oh have you got a poaching license ?

DH the other day: "You know that Wednesday girl on the programme you are watching with DC, they've totally ripped off the girl from the Addams family, right down to her plaits." 😂

I bought a new Mini and my husband laughed his head off when I told our son it was a John Player Special.

I LOVE THIS!! Going to use it with my kids from now on!!!

After my first baby I lost a lot of blood and got admitted into hospital, I had to have 3 blood transfusions and my wife rang everyone saying "the doctor said Jodies gone into anorexic shock, it's really bad". It was ANEMIC shock 🤣 we still laugh about it now !

It would certainly cause a reaction!

Oh and I promise this is true. My best friend and I were talking about jacket potato fillings and I mentioned baked beans. In all seriousness she said that she wouldn’t eat those as we were the same species as them. Yep, she thought we were human beans…

One of the Admin assistants at the school I work at once told everyone a new Sylvanian family was starting soon. They were Syrian.

That is fantastic

A neighbour years ago told me she'd had her nose castrated.

That would be cauterized, Jackie.

Cauterized.

Someone I work with said he’d “ made a great Chinese stir fry with some of those shit cake mushrooms” at the weekend.