Can you get me some Euthanasia tablets?

[OdeToTheNorthWestWind]

Just seen a slightly rattled friend, whose 88 year old mother made the request. After a bit of gentle questioning, she promised to buy her mum some Echinacea tablets to fend off winter bugs, the next time she is in town. 😄

What strange requests have you had?

Depends where you are. With my accent they're different. Like paw and pour.

With my Y4 class, recapping after a lesson on the weather,specifically the Beaufort Scale;
Me: And what is the name given to the scale for measuring wind strength?
Pupil :The Beefart Scale Miss😆

This reminds me of my dad, also hard of hearing, talking about Bob Geldof and Mick Dewar organising Live Aid. 😆

I think you missed the joke the poster was making. He / she was joking saying it reads like you scrub your overnight clean using your elderly neighbour, ie you stuck her head in the oven to scrub it instead of a scouring brush

That sounds like someone nickname!

There was a story before the last UK election about a lifelong Labour supporter who was going to not vote for them this time "because they're going to abolish condoms". It turned out he had misheard a story about the plans to get rid of non-doms...

A lovely elderly friend with dementia I support had her equality lovely priest over for lunch. Apparently she had sent him a beautiful and thoughtful WhatsApp message about Jesus but had finished it off with a red angry face ‘emoty’. He went to show her and realised he had somehow replied back with an angry face. They agreed this must have been done by ‘artificial insemination’. I worked out they meant artificial intelligence. I was round the corner making tea and could barely breathe with silent laughter.

In Madrid many years ago with Spanish friends and fluent boyfriend, I bravely tried out my linguaphone skilz and order two beers (dos cañas). What I actually ordered was dos coño (two cunts). I finished it with a nice ‘Por favor’ because I’m English. Whole bar pissed themselves. Many years later then ex boyfriend sent me a link to an to a retelling of this hellarious story in a national newspaper.

One relative went to Spain, where she ate Gestapo.

And a friend went to Greece, where she saw the Apocalypse.

I don’t get this, the r in porn isn’t silent 🤔

😂😂😂 love this!

I once went to my local bakers to
get my friend a box of cupcakes for her birthday for the office to share . I asked for a mixed box and they asked me if there was any I didn’t want and I said ‘I don’t like arsenic ones’ . I took them to work and gave them my friend and said ‘don’t worry there’s none with arsenic in’ . I then found out it’s called marzipan not arsenic

Had a customer ask for an STD card.
I looked blank - we aren’t that sort of store!!!
You know, she said, an STD card for a camera.
The mind boggles what her camera might have been up to!!!!
I didn’t correct her - I think she would have been mortified!

Love these!
My granny used to proudly announce she had a Wall's Vendetta for dessert (Vienetta!). We ate with trepidation..
She also complained she was getting one of those senile dimensions

My mum to DD: did you hear that Taylor Twist is engaged?

My exDH's grandmother told us that she'd had those "Jemima's Witnesses' round.
She also cooked things in the Michaelwave 😁

I still keep asking to get me a Sugar Daddy.
basically, a Scrub Daddy

yes, when I worked nights, a colleague wrote in one of the patient's notes, "care as potato" (meaning care as planned)
Another colleague wrote, "drinking good amounts of urine"

My dad told a very posh friend in my teens that he liked her Dr whites (he meant dr martens)
dr whites were a brand of pads!

My mum once met two friends of mine who were into the grunge look in the 90s and referred to them as Bill and Ted! She thought that’s what they were called

Wow, that must have taken some chewing..

😂😂😂

I was told my Grandfather was killed by a Zulu. Turns out he was sitting on the toilet at Whipsnade Zoo when the roof fell in.

My dear departed dgm was German and she came out with some crackers over the years!

when Princess Diana died she told everyone that MFI had killed her.

on a trip to the Lake District with my auntie she kept seeing signs saying “narrow lanes” and said how lovely it sounded and she couldn’t wait to get there.

she told my very slim friend that she looked like a greyhound and that men preferred “girls with a bit of puppy fat like zoflorabore” I was 27 at the time.

Once wished someone Good Luck in an email…however I actually wrote Good Lick 👅 So easy to do! 😂😂

A friend once declared to a group of us he was ‘ravishing’, when he actually meant to say he was ‘ravenous’! It doesn’t seem as funny when I type it out 😁.