Can you get me some Euthanasia tablets?

[OdeToTheNorthWestWind]

Just seen a slightly rattled friend, whose 88 year old mother made the request. After a bit of gentle questioning, she promised to buy her mum some Echinacea tablets to fend off winter bugs, the next time she is in town. 😄

What strange requests have you had?

The voice recognition software on the documentary I watched about Tutankhamun called him Tooting Common on the subtitles.

A lab I worked in used nuclear magnetic resonance spectroscopy, commonly referred to by its initials NMR. In the days of secretaries transcribing dictation, obviously this occasionally appeared as ‘enema’.

PhD theses in the days of being written longhand and typed up were liable to yield gems such as someone’s mum turning cosines into cosiness, and another nice one was haemoglobin becoming haemogoblin.

Bloody haemagoblins.

My gran used to demand a cut and blow job at the hairdressers.

The woman just knows what she wants and she's not scared to ask for it.

I absolutely hooted at this

Omg,need laughing emoji for these 😂

I love the Mariah Carey nurses!

The same boyfriend and I spent a few months in a French speaking country. He picked up a few words and would regularly finish any interaction with someone by saying - in French. "Thank you, how much"

Teaching an IT lesson to 11 year olds, I was confronted with an "About me" PowerPoint presentation in which the student declared "I love football and raping". Took me a while to work out he'd missed a p out.

My late nan once phoned me and asked if we were all ok? I said yes are you? She replied well I am but your grandads on the heroin 🤣

Some gentle questioning later, turns out it was warfarin 😂

😆

Yokey Cokey

That's gold

My late mum once exclaimed that Cafe Nerd was was a very nice name for a coffee shop

If you did, it would probably be just the once!

My late mum once exclaimed that Cafe Nerd was was a very nice name for a coffee shop

Was NOT a very nice name! Sorry!

My mum's friend was trying to apply for disability living allowance and in the course of asking for help told us that he had arranged all of his documents in an esplanade, which confused us a bit (he meant that he had them spread out on his desk)

My Mum also once did a 'who is this?' quiz in the local parish magazine

I had to point out to her that she'd put Harold Shipman for the then Archbishop of Canterbury (the one with beard) and the man with the bald head was in fact Ghandhi and not - as she'd put - Kojak!

😁We took the boys to the local Cafe Nero after watching the Horrible Histories film - seemed appropriate. Now the youngest and his friends do their homework there so Cafe Nerd is more appropriate now.
It's acceptable to embrace nerdiness now that the geeks have inherited the earth.

Just wanna say thankyou for all these, first time a thread has made me laugh out loud in ages
“clit bang” 🤣

Yes. I was brought up in Northamptonshire and I pronounce "porn" and "pawn" the same.

I have a few....my mum was once helping me with a party for DD and said 'farty pooed' instead of 'party food'.
Then my DS when he was young couldn't say his Ls. He would substitute another letter instead. One day I told him there was a hot air balloon in the sky....he ran to the window shouting 'a hot baboon!'
Finally, I worked on sainsburys deli counter (part time job when i was a 6th former in early 90s.) Houmous was often pronounced 'humus' amongst other pronunciations. I would have visions of handing over a carton of soil!

I was giving my 4 yr old son a ride on my horse and while my mum was leading him, she told my son to put his foot in the jock strap. I said, "what.." and she pointed to the stirrup leathers and said, "These jockey straps".
While in London she asked a bus driver if the bus went to 'Crotch End" instead of Crouch End.

A friend visited her mum in hospital. Mum was a bit upset because the doctors were going to do an autopsy on her the next day!!!!!! Nope, a biopsy.....

There actually is a street in Oxford called Crotch Crescent!

My Nan at a fancy afternoon tea asked the waitress for some femme fresh.

She meant crème fresh.