Your real life personality is based around your username , what sort of person are youL

[OneUmberJoker]

A joker

I hang out on beaches, particularly on the East coast and enjoy a diet of small crustaceans and insects. I've been described as an "elegant wader".

A reader seeking sparkly, interesting MN stories who, unfortunately, doesn't yet live in a big fortified house with a moat and drawbridge.

I make the rocking’ world go round.

A particularly stern descendant of an anthropomorphic personification, with a knack for turning invisible and rather unruly hair.

I’ve been cheated out of my birthright by my evil uncle, raised in a culture not my own, so am forever torn between the two. I served a great king, but I am destined to roam the land, seeking to reclaim my fortress and my lands.

I’m hardcore. I can escape from the trickiest of situations. I can survive for days, I store food accordingly.

A very bad girl.

My DS’s nickname for me after the 5th time he change my Apple account password ( he was on my account until he was 18) without telling me. He couldn’t remember it. He was on first name terms with the school IT bloke because he forgot his password monthly.

He is bordering on polymath-like knowledge and photographic memory which totally excludes passwords. I blame the mobile phone which cleverly stores and recalls passwords, meaning we no longer have to remember them. I can recall loads of past phone numbers from pre mobile era but I have no idea what my DH or DS’s mobile numbers are.

A long-running lunchtime magazine programme that came out of Brum. With severe diarrhoea.

A tortured playwright

A massively paranoid bassoonist.

Star Trek Captain!

A sweaty, mardy, angry, fat mess

I’m quite small, an intuitively brilliant chemist and engineer - a bio-rocket scientist, as it turns out - and surprisingly sexy.

Just me, on my own

Permanently exasperated.

Guess …..

love our motorcycle 🏍️

Ermmm. I'm not sure...

I do what I do without much ado.

I feel very strongly about bathing at the correct temperature.

I love love love Morrissey.
I love his lyrics and style and music.
I've been to see him many times.
It's not everyone's cup of tea and I choose to ignore some of his opinions.
His music got me through a shockingly violent relationship many years ago.
I remember after finally kicking ex out he took MY car (did not care by that point) removed my best Smiths CD from the cd player and Frisbeed it at the front door.
It was a strange calming moment.
I have not seen him since but found the car in a pub car park half parked in a hedge with the keys still in the ignition..
The mind boggles

Poisonous!

The type of annoying little gobshite who tuts at people driving at anything over the speedlimit on the motorway

A mute knight in a green tunic with a large sword