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Original poster

Have been put in a really uncomfortable position.

282 replies

LikeYouWantIt · 29/08/2025 19:18

We're on the brink of landing a huge contract at work.

I don't normally meet our customers face to face but as it's a government contract, our customer requested a visit to warehouse they're being supplied from.

Customer rep visited with me, and our sales guy. All fine, no issues. The rep then emailed me asking for various information and procedures. He replied saying "thanks, I owe you a drink!". Thought it was a bit clumsy on his part, but I emailed back "haha sounds good", then moved onto another work-related topic in the same email. He ignored the work related stuff and replied back "I'll definitely take you for a drink, it would be my pleasure. No backing out now!" I didn't respond.

3 days later, I got a Facebook friend request from him at 1am. Hmm I spoke to our sales guy about it, and we had a nosey through his profile. He has hundreds of friends, and his wife and kids are all over his profile. He's also the type to post pictures of his dinner, so assumed he's maybe just likes to add people on his socials.

I accepted, and you already know where this is going... I've managed to swerve his flirty messages up till now, while still keeping things fairly lighthearted, but now he's messaged saying he's coming back to the warehouse to "have an excuse to see me", and has pushed why I haven't responded to his messages.

I'm furious that this married man has put me in this awkward situation where I can't tear him a new one due to this huge work contract. I'm going to HR on Monday but how do I politely fob him off over the weekend?? I'm thinking I'll just have to block and ignore.

OP posts:
HardyCrow · 01/09/2025 09:51

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 29/08/2025 20:42

I'm wondering if the OP is just miffed that he's married.

This would make sense in context because it seems she only got annoyed after she accepted the FR.

And also if she was just annoyed that a client was flirting with her, she'd be annoyed whether he was married or not.

Show quote history

Good god what is wrong with you.

dh280125 · 01/09/2025 11:06

Just blank him. You don't need to respond. Block and he'll get the message.

FeetLikeFlippers · 01/09/2025 18:38

Fuck me, has nobody read the update where OP says her (male) sales manager advised her to accept the friend request?

Letsgoroundagainnow · 01/09/2025 18:46

FeetLikeFlippers · 01/09/2025 18:38

Fuck me, has nobody read the update where OP says her (male) sales manager advised her to accept the friend request?

Yes I read it, not sure why she asked or took any advice from him?

She also then states that she’s got lots of contractors and work associates on her FB.

daisychain01 · 01/09/2025 19:21

FeetLikeFlippers · 01/09/2025 18:38

Fuck me, has nobody read the update where OP says her (male) sales manager advised her to accept the friend request?

As a wise person once told me at a young age "just because someone tells you to jump off a cliff, it doesn't mean to say you have to do it"

if someone told me to connect via my personal social media count to someone I didn't want to, because I didn't actually know them or want to, I'd seriously want to understand why, when that isn't a work requirement.

WutheringTights · 01/09/2025 19:26

BreadstickBurglar · 29/08/2025 19:28

No, it’s his fault. She isn’t the one asking him out for a drink in the middle of a contract negotiation, nor pursuing his social media and sending inappropriate messages. All she’s done is respond overly politely out of (I’m presuming) a feeling that she needs to keep him sweet. It’s his fault.

Out of interest is he a civil servant? You mentioned a govt contract (not outing, there are hundreds of thousands of them).

Show quote history

This. He is taking advantage of the fact that he has the power in this situation because of the contract, so she can’t tell him to do one.

This isn’t an HR issue, it’s a your boss to his boss conversation telling him that he’s crossed a line and to back off.

99problems99 · 02/09/2025 16:18

LikeYouWantIt · 29/08/2025 19:18

We're on the brink of landing a huge contract at work.

I don't normally meet our customers face to face but as it's a government contract, our customer requested a visit to warehouse they're being supplied from.

Customer rep visited with me, and our sales guy. All fine, no issues. The rep then emailed me asking for various information and procedures. He replied saying "thanks, I owe you a drink!". Thought it was a bit clumsy on his part, but I emailed back "haha sounds good", then moved onto another work-related topic in the same email. He ignored the work related stuff and replied back "I'll definitely take you for a drink, it would be my pleasure. No backing out now!" I didn't respond.

3 days later, I got a Facebook friend request from him at 1am. Hmm I spoke to our sales guy about it, and we had a nosey through his profile. He has hundreds of friends, and his wife and kids are all over his profile. He's also the type to post pictures of his dinner, so assumed he's maybe just likes to add people on his socials.

I accepted, and you already know where this is going... I've managed to swerve his flirty messages up till now, while still keeping things fairly lighthearted, but now he's messaged saying he's coming back to the warehouse to "have an excuse to see me", and has pushed why I haven't responded to his messages.

I'm furious that this married man has put me in this awkward situation where I can't tear him a new one due to this huge work contract. I'm going to HR on Monday but how do I politely fob him off over the weekend?? I'm thinking I'll just have to block and ignore.

Shouldn’t have said you’d go for a drink and shouldn’t have accepted his friend request

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