Male midwife

[WifeOfAGemini]

Hi I just wondered how many of you experienced care from a male midwife, and what did you think about it?

I had a sweep done by a male midwife, they did check that I was happy for him to do it instead of a female midwife and I agreed because I didn’t want to make a fuss. My logic at the time was that he won’t be able to do his job properly if everyone says no to letting him do procedures.

Don’t want to diminish your feelings if there is more to it. But from the limited info I think this is potentially more about being discreet when discussing your undies with you. Lots wouldn’t appreciate that type of conversation happening loudly. I’d tell people to keep their underwear on too, on more than one occasion patients have stripped naked under their gowns, flashing us unnecessarily.

There are numerous benefits to having a mother who is as relaxed as possible and calm, for both mother and baby, so I’d say first and foremost the mother’s comfort is the most important.

That’s as may be but, ultimately, babies are vulnerable and their health and survival must come before the mother’s comfort.

I have a note on my medical file for female staff whenever possible. I was very upset to find the only male midwife in the hospital kept coming to my bed unnecessarily when i was bf ( had to stay in for a week!). I asked him to stay away from me ( politely) in the end and it affected my trust in the female staff as they just ignored it.

I wouldn’t accept it. I’d ask for a woman.

I had a male midwife 40 years ago with my third child. He was on a six month exchange with a British midwife. He was super nice and professional and delivered my beautiful daughter safely.

I wouldn't care either way.

Instead of whispering to girls to keep their undies on, surely she would have reported him if she had suspicions?

I have my opinion, you have yours. I wouldn’t have wanted a male midwife and believe the mother’s comfort is the most important thing. It can change the whole birth experience and outcome.You can disagree, it’s allowed. 😉

No male midwife thankfully (would have refused one - made that clear on my birth plan), but have had male gynae surgeons and male doctors for referrals to the breast clinic under the 2 week wait - each time I would have far rather had a female (a real one, not the Upton kind). It's the old thing of just wanting it over and done with, and getting the results as quickly as possibly. Makes me furious really.

I did once have a very odd experience with a male gynae doctor when I was much younger and to this day, I still feel very confused about it. Despite having a female chaperone, he spent a lot of time examining me and what I can only describe as fingering me very roughly over and over and over. When I queried it after he left with the chaperone she just sort of mumbled an excuse and looked very uncomfortable.

I couldn’t have cared less if my midwives had been male or female tbh but I can completely understand that a lot of women will feel uncomfortable

it does seem a strange profession to want go into if you’re male ngl.

I would agree for non intimate things such as ante natal checks, heart beat, blood pressure etc but no for the birth, sweeps or any internal exams.

I had a male midwife and male gynaecologist who then delivered da via EMCS.

The only “issue” I had was the fact ds was born in Spain and although I could speak enough Spanish I wasn’t proficient is specialist subjects (like EMSC and medical terms!) plus when in labour my Spanish wasn’t coming as easily and the midwife was Mexican so had a different Spanish accent!

Both were extremely good though and the care was exemplary.

I had a male midwife with my first dd I owe him my life.

Would you think the same about a male gynaecologist ?

I've never had a male midwife. I have however, had intimate examinations done many times by male doctors and it never made me feel uneasy. A friend of mine did have a male midwife and said she was ok with it during labour but when he came round the ward afterwards to check her vaginal stitches and asked intimate questions about if she had passed wind, had a poo and checked her blood loss on the pad, she said she felt differently about it, overexposed and embarrassed and would have preferred a female. I can understand that.

I hope you don't use that dismissive attitude when you are working with people too. Have some respect for people's body autonomy FFS. You sound like one of the "be kind" crew who force women to get undressed in front of men who identify.

I don’t think the two are necessary separate though

I’m a retired midwife and worked alongside male midwives. I don’t ever remember any patient requesting that the male midwife was replaced by a female. Most of the consultants were male, we only had I female gynaecologist and she was excellent but could be quite sharp with the patients. The patients and their partners were always asked if they were ok with a male midwife.

These will be medically qualified professionals who only care about the health and care of mother and baby. It’s not being dismissive.

I had a male midwife called Dave 27yrs ago, he was fab

I’m sure some are fine but I’d never be treated by one. One of my friends husbands is an anaesthetist and through my friend has been at events with his colleagues, some who are male gynaecologists. She has heard them speak about the women they have treated in a very unprofessional way, sexual comments, derogatory comments, that’s enough for me to not let one anywhere near me.

I find it really odd that many women would object to a male midwife but if a male doctor/consultant came in for a check or in an emergency - they'd have no problem with that whatsoever. My male midwife was by favourite by a mile in my 3 day induction/labour :)

The fact that you don’t know of any woman not asking for a replacement is really worrying. Some women will have felt uncomfortable, we know that women often don’t speak up when they feel vulnerable. That is a huge problem.