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Original poster

Male midwife

249 replies

WifeOfAGemini · 29/08/2025 16:26

Hi I just wondered how many of you experienced care from a male midwife, and what did you think about it?

I had a sweep done by a male midwife, they did check that I was happy for him to do it instead of a female midwife and I agreed because I didn’t want to make a fuss. My logic at the time was that he won’t be able to do his job properly if everyone says no to letting him do procedures.

OP posts:
RanyaJerodung · 29/08/2025 17:09

ForLoveNotMoney · 29/08/2025 16:32

I am a midwife and work with 2 male midwives. It's very rare that women refuse their care. If they do, it is usually for religious reasons more than their midwife having a penis.

Isn't the religious reason the fact that the midwife has a penis?

Ihavetoask · 29/08/2025 17:12

The male midwife in my local unit is much requested. People went mad when he moved into management and wasnt on the floor any more. Someone told me recently that half the midwives in our local delivery suite don't have kids and probably half of those don't want to.

My next door neighbour growing up was a midwife and had 5 kids of her own. She was extremely disappointed in women who needed things like epidurals or wanted a caesarean. She had all hers at home with her mum who was also a local midwife. If you found things like BF difficult, she would blame the mother for not trying hard enough.

I think I'd prefer a nice guy to her.

Original poster
WifeOfAGemini · 29/08/2025 17:17

This is really pleasing to read overall. The only reason I was worried about him doing a sweep was that he would have big hands and that might not be very nice.

Sweeps aren’t very nice full stop though which is why I agreed.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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3rd trimester Families General pregnancy
sittingonabeach · 29/08/2025 17:17

I had females midwives, but the consultant who saved my life after birth complications was male. Wasn’t arguing about sex of staff at that point.

Someone posted more women die with a male surgeon, is that because male surgeons still outnumber female ones?

GreyCarpet · 29/08/2025 17:17

Didn't have a male midwife but I did have a male anaesthetist when I had an early.EMCS. I was in a bit of a state and he sat stroking my hair and telling me what a brave and clever girl I was and how well I was doing the whole time 😁

Might sound a bit patronising but, at the time, he really helped!

I would always judge something like that on an individual basis. And a lot of it would depend on whether I felt respected by them.

I've had poor experiences with male and female HCPs as well as positive with both.

QuietLifeNoDrama · 29/08/2025 17:18

Not a midwife that I recall specifically but I definitely saw several male consultants throughout my pregnancies. Honestly if they’re trained medical professionals I couldn’t give two hoots whether they were male or female. By that point everyone had seen everything anyway.

ReignOfError · 29/08/2025 17:21

My sister had a male midwife over 45 years ago. He was delightful and effective and all she could have asked for.

I dearly hoped he would be my midwife the following year, but no such luck.

Wtafdidido · 29/08/2025 17:21

I had a male midwife and didn’t bother me in the slightest.

DramaLlamacchiato · 29/08/2025 17:23

Does he not need to be chaperoned when doing an intimate examination?

I didn’t have a male midwife but when I was expecting my eldest I had a membrane sweep by a male doctor. However, he had a female chaperone present.

Muffintopmumma · 29/08/2025 17:24

Yes, I went through 3 midwives due to length of labour and the final was a male. I ended up in C-section but he was wonderful throughout from when we continued with attempted vaginal birth to looking after me and baby after section. Really not a single concern I can recall.

WonderingWanda · 29/08/2025 17:26

Not a male midwife but after a 48 hr labour with mutiple midwife shift changes and then a male Obstetrician who was called because ds was stuck.

DomPom47 · 29/08/2025 17:27

With my first child in a London hospital I had a male Scottish midwife. He was amazing - calm, experienced, professional, the care I got up to the point when I ended up having an emergency c section from him was superb.

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 29/08/2025 17:27

ForLoveNotMoney · 29/08/2025 16:32

I am a midwife and work with 2 male midwives. It's very rare that women refuse their care. If they do, it is usually for religious reasons more than their midwife having a penis.

Just great that any midwife would be so utterly dismissive of a woman having concerns or even fear (possibly linked to past sexual abuse). Just fan-fucking-tastic 👏

Outwiththenorm · 29/08/2025 17:34

I had a male midwife with my first and wish I hadn’t. He was young, seemed a bit insecure, patronising towards me and only spoke to DH. Said things like ‘you need to walk her’ to DH like I was his dog and read my weight out to DH at each appointment 🙄 We were inexperienced and nervous and just didn’t know what to expect which is why we put up with it I guess. He wasn’t at the birth, thank god.

Juliancantcope · 29/08/2025 17:35

I had a male midwife for my first child back in 2009 at UCLH. I was terrified and wanted reassurance and support … he gave made neither, in fact he kept telling me to get a move on so he could go to a party! I ended up having an emergency C-section and ptsd. Second and third births with women who actually had some idea what I was going through were much better.

MissDoubleU · 29/08/2025 17:38

There are so many male Gynaecologists - or male doctors in general, or even male anaesthesiologists who can be in the room when you’re in the midst of labour.

My last coil fitting was done by a male doctor, the only person qualified to fit one within the GP group I’m a part of.

I’m not the most comfortable with this personally, but it’s hardly new or rare to have men in positions of checking things up there.

Ihavetoask · 29/08/2025 17:38

Outwiththenorm · 29/08/2025 17:34

I had a male midwife with my first and wish I hadn’t. He was young, seemed a bit insecure, patronising towards me and only spoke to DH. Said things like ‘you need to walk her’ to DH like I was his dog and read my weight out to DH at each appointment 🙄 We were inexperienced and nervous and just didn’t know what to expect which is why we put up with it I guess. He wasn’t at the birth, thank god.

So he was your community midwife? Funny not sure NICE guidelines specify weight at each appointment either. Was the walking in labour? Or general exercise?

Blushingm · 29/08/2025 17:39

I’m a DN and often older women refuse our male nurses

Ihavetoask · 29/08/2025 17:40

Juliancantcope · 29/08/2025 17:35

I had a male midwife for my first child back in 2009 at UCLH. I was terrified and wanted reassurance and support … he gave made neither, in fact he kept telling me to get a move on so he could go to a party! I ended up having an emergency C-section and ptsd. Second and third births with women who actually had some idea what I was going through were much better.

Sounds strange as he would have had to stay for his shift anyway and left when it ended regardless of whether you'd had the baby or not.

Partlynot · 29/08/2025 17:40

I did during the early stages of labour and I had a positive experience.

I see a male gynae who has operated on me a couple of times and only have positive things to say about him too.

I had female midwives deliver my baby and both were brilliant.

A female doctor performed my c section and was very dismissive of my complaints about being in pain, thankfully another doctor in the room (who happened to be male) listened and it was a good job because moments later it became clear there were some serious complications that were causing that pain which very nearly cost me my life.

In general, I would like to see medical professionals who are respectful and competent and am not overly fussed about whether they are male or female. I appreciate others have reasons for preferring to be seen by females only.

Blushingm · 29/08/2025 17:41

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 29/08/2025 17:27

Just great that any midwife would be so utterly dismissive of a woman having concerns or even fear (possibly linked to past sexual abuse). Just fan-fucking-tastic 👏

Show quote history

I don’t think she’s being dismissive at all

adsa · 29/08/2025 17:41

Sadhu
bdjdjs

tobee · 29/08/2025 17:46

I had one 26 years ago. He was great and was very caring because I was very anxious because I'd had a stillbirth before this. I was also very anxious because they thought my newborn ds possibly had an infection and needed a visit to special care.

I've also had a male gynaecologist.

But I think it's imperative women should be able to feel comfortable to say that they would not want a male.

Carriemac · 29/08/2025 17:48

male midwives are often proptionally much more likely to be referred to the NMC for misconduct than females

Ihavetoask · 29/08/2025 17:48

tobee · 29/08/2025 17:46

I had one 26 years ago. He was great and was very caring because I was very anxious because I'd had a stillbirth before this. I was also very anxious because they thought my newborn ds possibly had an infection and needed a visit to special care.

I've also had a male gynaecologist.

But I think it's imperative women should be able to feel comfortable to say that they would not want a male.

And then what?