Male midwife

[WifeOfAGemini]

Hi I just wondered how many of you experienced care from a male midwife, and what did you think about it?

I had a sweep done by a male midwife, they did check that I was happy for him to do it instead of a female midwife and I agreed because I didn’t want to make a fuss. My logic at the time was that he won’t be able to do his job properly if everyone says no to letting him do procedures.

Mine were female but I am a nurse and most of the Filipino and Indian nurses I’ve worked with train as midwives as standard with their training. Generally fantastic healthcare providers!

I would have point blank refused a male midwife.

There's no way I want a man there when I'm at my most vulnerable. I wouldn't be comfortable at all.

I asked for a different midwife at one point with one of my dc because the midwife I had wouldn't stop touching my feet and they swapped, no problem.

I very much doubt it was due to “possible interference”.

They don't because nothing says that midwives have to be female (or a certian ethnicity, have children, of a certain age, etc) though you have the right to decline care and have another practitioner if they are not. The problem comes in when you now need care and the only person who can give it to you without harming anyone else is someone you don't want to have.

Not a male midwife but I had all my pregnancy appointments with a male doctor, who also delivered my first baby by C-section, so he'd seen it all by the end.

You haven't seen many GMC cases then...

In my place of work their care will be transferred to another staff member and their patient taken over providing they are happy with a male.
It is hard in the NHS with staffing ratios etc but just to deem patients who decline male clinicians as ‘fucked’ and hinting they are selfish to compromise someone else’s care is completely naive to the fact that some women may have suffered horrific abuse by males and could not tolerate this at their most vulnerable time.

I distrust any male interested in gynaecology or midwifery. Maybe it’s because one was inappropriate with me. But male doctors have always been bloody awful to me anyway, mansplaining, patronising, and unhygienic at best, sexually inappropriate at worst.

Thank you @Tealpins.

As per the beginning of my post, it was another situation where I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Perhaps now, older and wiser, I wonder why she took the trouble to say it…

If the staff have been divvied up by clinical need as in the most experienced practitioners with the highest risk patients, then they can't just swap a guy for a woman as either may have a skill set that is more appropriate for their original allocation.

That's a real issue in the NHS right now as retention rates are so low so you can have a whole shift of inexperienced but qualified practitioners. All of who qualified in way less than ideal circumstances, too.

The guy may well be more experienced, and therefore could work with anyone - but then they've been moved away from someone they should be looking after due to their clinical need and his clinical experience.

I can't imagine being told that I am clinically safer with one practitioner due to their experience, but choosing one less competent for my care, anyway. Some would though.

I have not had a male midwife but have had other intimate care from male doctors. I found those particular doctors perfectly good and I felt comfortable. I have had both good and bad care from female HCPs.

However, I think everyone woman has an absolute right to have a blanket personal policy of 'No male HCPs' based purely on what she feels comfortable with. I have no time for those who sneer at that or consider themselves superior for feeling comfortable with either.

I am also old and ugly enough that I would have absolutely no hesitation in declining care from anyone I felt uncomfortable with for any reason.

Trust your instincts and prioritise your own comfort as a patient. Any good HCP will do the same.

I doubt there's much thought when the consultant is male in perinatal care.

Never experienced it, but my first baby was delivered by a male doctor which didn’t bother me at all because I was at the “just get it out” stage and high on diamorphine!
I don’t think I would have liked a male midwife through pregnancy and early labour though, it’s not a about how professional or skilled they are I just think women feel more comfortable talking to other women about “women’s things”.
Also after birth can’t imagine a male midwife manhandling my boobs when trying to get my baby to latch and feed

I had all female midwives, I wouldn’t have wanted a male one.

There was a male midwife at the hospital 2 of my friends had their babies at. One refused to have him and the other would have refused, but she only had women assigned to her so didn’t need to. The comfort of the woman having the baby is the most important.

I’ve worked with 2 male midwives and they were both exemplary practitioners.
As an aside, my first ve by a female midwife (many years ago) felt odd as I’d only had make fingers in my vagina up until then 😂. How naive of me.

Isn’t the health of the baby (and mother) the most important?

Do you really? There appear to be women on this thread who are naively innocent. I'm not saying "all men" but those of us that know, know.

I had a male midwife!! Fabulous he was! But, I also had a male fertility consultant who saw my vagina, over the span of 5 years, more than my husband probably did, I had a male fertility nurse who did my dildo cams every other during during my 6 cycles so a male midwife wasn’t out of the ordinary.

All the men I dealt with were absolute profession experts and I would pick them every single time, again. I’d waited so long for my baby that Joffrey Baratheon could have been my midwife and I’d have been happy.

I don’t disagree with you in terms of the complexity of declining male care, it is a significant issue in areas with male clinicians (I find they tend to be declined more when working in areas patient don’t seem to expect? E.g gynaecologists are much widely accepted than male midwives etc)
Im just pointing out a bit of empathy has to go into understanding why some women can’t tolerate male care during birth rather than labelling it as them just selfishly deciding they only want a female. I only say this having worked somewhere with a history of significant sexual abuse throughout the city.

Would you also ban female doctors from being able to do vasectomies and prostate exams?

Even if I that was the reason, what protection would a pair of knickers provide?

The NHS role is to provide appropiate healthcare funded from public tax.

Its not there to provide employment.

Pregnancy provision is not emergency provision. They know how most deliveries will progress and roughly how many will convert into medical /emergency care.

The hospitals know the likely population on any given day and have in almost all instance months to ask the women if she is ok with males acting as midwives or doctors.

The OP should not be in a situation where she is unhappy enough to come to MN and say the only reason she allow hin access to her body is because she did not feel she could say no.

If that consent was a foundation of the qualified practitioner model a lot more women would have better delivery histories.

As I said before it a management issue, it one area of provision where the NHS know its going to be single sex, where NHS Maternal is not focused on a consent driven staffing decisions.

Did you miss the bit where she said it really helped her? Might not have helped you, but not every one is you.

The problem comes in when you now need care and the only person who can give it to you without harming anyone else is someone you don't want to have.

And if that harms you regardless of whether you accept them tough? If anything I'd say that's an argument for banning male midwives.

My first child was delivered by a man. My choice, after reading my notes he wanted to call the (female) on call consultant in but I didn't want to wait. I ended up having flashbacks to previous trauma before passing out due to unfortunate similarities plus I'd been awake for almost 100 hours (stuck baby, prolonged broken waters etc). I then completely lost the plot. Tried to commit suicide whilst ds was in Nicu. Had a psychotic break which multiple NHS Consultant Psychiatrists thought was absolutely related to the perfectly nice male Doctor. Dh had to work from home for seven months on suicide watch and it took me months to bond with ds because I struggled to believe he was mine.

Dc2 was delivered by an amazing team of women and I had mild baby blues, nothing else even though my father had died when I was six months pregnant. Which had the psychiatrist I was still under 3 years later convinced it was circumstantial rather than a predisposition to psychosis.

I had a male midwife while being induced, so he was just taking observations, not at the business end. Didn't bother me. The female midwife that checked my cervix left me in agony. The c sections were performed by both male and female surgeons. I have also had appointments with a male doctor needing a view of my colon and there are always female nurses present.

I feel like I have no issue with a male midwife, but women should have the option of a chaperone, whether female hospital employee, or their birth partner. Plus be able to switch to a female midwife if desired, if possible.