Male midwife

[WifeOfAGemini]

Hi I just wondered how many of you experienced care from a male midwife, and what did you think about it?

I had a sweep done by a male midwife, they did check that I was happy for him to do it instead of a female midwife and I agreed because I didn’t want to make a fuss. My logic at the time was that he won’t be able to do his job properly if everyone says no to letting him do procedures.

I was surprised mid labour with a staff chnage and a male midwife. I wish I had refused with hindsight, but I didn't feel I could. My labour stopped as soon as he examined me, just stopped dead. I had to have a section. I am sure my body felt unsafe in some way. He was a lovely man, no red flags but I wish I had asked for female care.

Wouldn't bother me . I'm sure it was a male who stitched me with dc1 if I remember rightly.

Wouldn't bother me . I'm sure it was a male who stitched me with dc1 if I remember rightly.

Google says 0.4% midwives in the UK are male so much more likely to have a female.

I would always opt for a female but it seems others have had positive experiences.

I have had some intimate care from male GPs and gynaecologists, some excellent and some less so. I didn’t think much about it at the time.

But I think I would possibly be more cautious now, given some of the criminal convictions of male clinical staff in recent years.

A few years ago I had minor day surgery (on my top half) and I remember the nurse whispering in my ear that I could keep my knickers on under my gown. It was a male surgeon and male anaesthetist. I am not sure who else was present. Was she just being reassuring or protecting me from possible interference while under?

I had one and he was nice and caring and helped me as much with breastfeeding as the midwife’s who hadn’t had kids could … none were that helpful but he spotted my sons tongue tie

I haven’t but wouldn’t have a problem with it in principle. As long as he doesn’t think he’s a woman!!

Then be assigned a female midwife surely?

Mine was lovely. Very sympathetic. I also had a male HV.

If someone would be examined by a male doctor then a male midwife is no different really.

So from my understanding, shifts are already starting under ratio. If they've already allocated staff as per clinical need, and you've been assigned the qualified member of staff most suitable for you given the current workload, where will they find this extra female member of staff?

I think this might have been a realistic proposition when there was more money in the NHS, but not now.

It’s a hard no from me. I always refuse any intimate care from any and all male health workers. IMO, any man that chooses a career - such as midwifery- where he will only be working with vulnerable women and children raises many red flags.

"stroking your hair" You liked that ?? You thought that was appropriate?

i don’t know I would just hope and assume something would be in place, considering there is always the chance there will be woman with significant trauma from sexual abuse or assault, who may find being assigned a male midwife with no choice very distressing or traumatic.

ffs he stroked your hair and told you you were a "brave and clever girl".

Is that what you call "respect". Jeez.

This isn’t dismissive……..

They will be medically qualified professionals.

I haven’t personally had a male midwife (though there was one at my hospital and apparently, he was much loved). But I did have a male gynaecologist when living abroad (where you see a gynaecologist for more routine care, birth control, smears, STI testing), usually twice a year. He was about 80 and fantastic, much more respectful than the female doctors, and he actually took proper time with me and addressed my concerns.

Would I opt for a male? Personally, no, though my experience obviously shows they can provide fantastic considerate care. I think with a midwife one of the advantages of a woman is someone who has had the experience of giving birth themselves. But realistically, half of the midwife team when I had mine were quite young (20s) and I would venture to guess that none of them had yet had children of their own either.

And then the male report to his managet that the woman needs a female member of staff to provide any care

I had one female midwife treat me like a small child and at the time I appreciated it 😂

Better than the other one who was mean to me 😂

The thing that is in place is that you can decline care with the thought that there would be some extra member of floating staff that could take the place of the practitioner you do not want. That member of staff not only isn't there, there is usually at least one other member of staff that isn't there, so at least one person who is meant to be 1/1 is 2/1.

I had a very inappropriate male gynaecologist in my early 20s. I am absolutely certain he got turned on by his job. I know someone who dated a surgeon who was turned on by the particular disability she had. It was his area of specialism. A lot of men are very motivated by sex, even trained medical professionals.

From where?

Well then the hospital is a little bit fucked.

The male employee has to be protected from criminal charges and the management need to deliver the baby safely while preventing harm to the mother.

The hospitals hir/staffing decisions is not the womans problem

I only had those in labour. My birth partners were with me.

I'd say the person in labour declining the qualified practitioner is likely more fucked than anyone else. You have the right to decline someone's clinical care, you don't have the right to compromise someone else's care by insisting they swap their midwife with you.

Thats a management problem.

As per my other post management have a problem.