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Millie Bobbie Brown adopts

188 replies

wandererofthekingdom · 21/08/2025 18:47

Millie Bobbie Brown and her husband have adopted a baby. It’s so refreshing to hear of a celebrity adopting rather than using a surrogate. Especially as we heard of another celeb using surrogacy yet again this week.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8ry4m80mn7o

Millie Bobby Brown and Jake Bongiovi posing at a premiere in front of branding for Netflix's The Electric State

Millie Bobby Brown and Jake Bongiovi adopt a baby daughter

The Stranger Things star and Jake Bongiovi say they're are "beyond excited to embark on this beautiful next chapter".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8ry4m80mn7o

OP posts:
ForHazelHelper · 22/08/2025 09:56

ThePinkPoster · 22/08/2025 09:47

I was adopted, always knew for as long as I can remember. I was loved and adored by my adoptive parents. It’s only now looking back that I realise it had a negative effect on me in some
ways. I was an incredibly insecure child - I remember being heartbroken once when a little friend sat on my mums lap for a hug. I remember crying myself to sleep, afraid that I was going to be replaced not necessarily physically but in my mums affections. I remember one time my mum took me and the slightly older daughter of a friend of hers whom I’d never met before, to an event. I was spectacularly sulky and rude to the other child. No idea why. Maybe I was just a horrible child 🤷‍♀️

But being given away HAS to be the ultimate rejection doesn’t it, however loved you are by the people who take you in.

Years later I found some of my birth family and found out that my birth mother bitterly regretted giving me up. I totally understand her reasons now I’m an adult and in fact even before finding out the circumstances, having my own children brought home to me how agonising giving me up must have been.

But primal wound - yeah. I get that.

Sorry to hear how you struggled. I think there are a lot of stories of women who were pressured into adopting their babies and regret their whole lives. I hope that finding some of your birth family and being told that she bitterly regretted gave you a sort of comfort that in fact, you were wanted by two families - the mother who regretted doing what she did and the family that adopted you. I hope you have some peace now.

ThePinkPoster · 22/08/2025 10:12

ForHazelHelper · 22/08/2025 09:56

Sorry to hear how you struggled. I think there are a lot of stories of women who were pressured into adopting their babies and regret their whole lives. I hope that finding some of your birth family and being told that she bitterly regretted gave you a sort of comfort that in fact, you were wanted by two families - the mother who regretted doing what she did and the family that adopted you. I hope you have some peace now.

Oh don’t get me wrong I had a lovely life! I grew out of my childish jealousy/resource guarding of my mum 😁

I just have more insight as to where it might have some from. Being an only child probably didn’t help. Possibly if I’d had a sibling close in age would have been good for me. However I can only imagine what a nightmare I’d have been if I’d later had a much younger sibling 😳

LumiK · 22/08/2025 10:47

They seem very young to be adopting. Imagine it was a private adoption where they paid a mother a lot of money to hand over the baby as soon as it was born.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

MrsJamin · 22/08/2025 11:36

What's the chance that Millie and her husband know that they are infertile? Pretty low? If they ever conceive their own child it will wreck this adopted child's life. I just can't see this as altruistic and well thought through. Wtf is wrong with Americans that they can't have a social system strong enough to tell people "no you cannot obtain a baby by these means because it is unethical towards a child".

BeltaLodaLife · 22/08/2025 13:44

Coffeeishot · 22/08/2025 08:25

That poster was lightheartedly talking about her own son saying this because he has a crush on MBB.

I guess I’m just fed up of British people making fun of foreign names as if it’s just so funny, and also sick of their parents not correcting that behaviour.

AppropriateAdult · 22/08/2025 14:07

Abuye · 22/08/2025 09:30

Not necessarily the case in the USA - you still get the unmarried young mothers giving up newborns for adoption in a way that used to happen here up until around the 60s. The child may not have come from a traumatic background.

But the adoption - ie the permanent separation from the birth mother - is the trauma.

Coffeeishot · 22/08/2025 14:12

BeltaLodaLife · 22/08/2025 13:44

I guess I’m just fed up of British people making fun of foreign names as if it’s just so funny, and also sick of their parents not correcting that behaviour.

Fair point, but it was genuinely a jokey thing, is how i read it.

HarryVanderspeigle · 22/08/2025 15:10

I do think that they are too young to be adopting and this isn'ta good idea. But I find it odd that people are saying that they should be supporting someone to keep her child instead. Unfortunately in America, there will be plenty of girls whose families would have nothing to do with them if they kept a child out of wedlock. Just like UK 50+ years ago. Money can't make your existing family speak to you again. The lack of access to abortion will also mean there are mothers who already have more children than they can cope with, or don't want to be pare to.

Adopting in USA is also more likely to be a newborn baby, not a child that has been neglected, abused or born addicted to substances. That is a different circumstance to UK amd less likely to produce a child with severe needs.

WellThisIsFranklyDreadful · 22/08/2025 15:19

Zov · 22/08/2025 08:13

Are you presenting this as a positive thing? It's not the 1920s, why on earth is ANYone getting married and having a baby with someone they met at 16 - in 2025?

I’m presenting it as a fact. Because that is how long they’ve been together.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 22/08/2025 16:04

ShesTheAlbatross · 22/08/2025 09:26

Unless the biological mother got pregnant on request, it is completely different to surrogacy.

Not if money changed hands it's not. Buying children is buying children.

(Not saying this is what's happened in this case. Just hypothetically if it was then there is little to no difference between the two in my view).

LidlAmaretto · 22/08/2025 20:54

BeltaLodaLife · 22/08/2025 01:31

Sorry? What’s wrong with his name? His dad’s name is literally John Francis Bongiovi. That’s his name. He called his son Jake so Jake Bongiovi. It’s a pretty standard way of naming your kid.

Should Jake have used his dad stage name instead and go around as Jake Bon Jovi?

What a weird comment for your son to make and I’m surprised you didn’t correct him with, “He has his dad’s surname; what’s odd about that?”

Err because he's a teenager with a celebrity crush? He doesn't care about my extensive knowledge of Bob Jovi from the 80's!

Arran2024 · 22/08/2025 21:06

Ketzele · 21/08/2025 23:23

I was discussing this earlier with my dd (19) and said it must have been a private adoption and explained how it worked. I said obviously in the British system MBB would be considered very unsuitable to adopt, but in US private adoption the pregnant birth mother would have picked her and probably was swayed by the thought of her baby being raised by a real life celebrity. My dd, normally a very intelligent young woman, said, "I'd definitely choose her! Think of all that money!"

And that is why we don't allow very young people to adopt.

Has she seen the film 'Juno'? That shows exactly how the US adoption system works. And things don't progress smoothly, which is pretty typical in adoption too.

CerealForDinnerAgain · 22/08/2025 21:12

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 21/08/2025 21:23

I imagine there are sadly more babies available to adopt in the US due to their insane abortion laws.

It is indeed insane that in the state I live in you can abort a baby at any stage of pregnancy, even at full-term. Insane.

Arran2024 · 22/08/2025 21:13

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 22/08/2025 16:04

Not if money changed hands it's not. Buying children is buying children.

(Not saying this is what's happened in this case. Just hypothetically if it was then there is little to no difference between the two in my view).

Tbf adoption is the solution to the problem of an unwanted pregnancy (other solutions like keeping the child are available too of course). A baby will be born and its needs should come first.

Surrogacy is the solution to infertility, unwillingness to get pregnant or gay couples wanting a family. Here the prospective parents' needs come first.

The two are completely different.

Also of course with surrogacy there is usually a dna connection and there isn't with adoption.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 22/08/2025 22:51

@Arran2024 Tbf adoption is the solution to the problem of an unwanted pregnancy (other solutions like keeping the child are available too of course). A baby will be born and its needs should come first.

I don't disagree with this and have nothing whatsoever against the principle of adoption. I have seen first hand the difference it can make.

My issue is that a few people have said it seems to be with the US system that money can help oil the wheels and that is what the sticking point is for me.

If Millie and Jake weren't wealthy and didn't have famous family, if they were totally ordinary and both worked average or even well paid jobs would they be allowed to adopt then? If the answer to that is no (and I'm not saying that it is) then that for me is an issue because it means money is talking loudest.

BeltaLodaLife · 22/08/2025 23:40

LidlAmaretto · 22/08/2025 20:54

Err because he's a teenager with a celebrity crush? He doesn't care about my extensive knowledge of Bob Jovi from the 80's!

But it’s an Italian name. And you just sat there while he made fun of it? I’d have maybe told my kid not to make fun of names just because they sound foreign… but you do you.

MiddleNameDilema · 23/08/2025 10:24

LidlAmaretto · 21/08/2025 20:21

Ds1 has a poorly concealed crush on MBB so I know all the ins and outs of her love life in furious ' Who gets married at 18?' and ' what the hell kind of name is Jake Bonjiovi' outbursts!

😂😂😂 Bless him

LizzyEm · 23/08/2025 10:30

Squeezingintomyjeans · 21/08/2025 21:41

I’m not sure why it’s seen as a good thing - it just seems like celebrities using their money to get what they want rather than doing things the way normal people have to. You can bet money has changed hands and while they may be good parents - I don’t know anything about them - it feels wrong to me.

You don't know if she has fertility or health issues.
And an otherwise unwanted child gets a home. What's wrong with that? They have the money for support and nannies etc, I'd say that kid is going to be better off than it would have been.

Nyungnyung · 23/08/2025 12:47

LizzyEm · 23/08/2025 10:30

You don't know if she has fertility or health issues.
And an otherwise unwanted child gets a home. What's wrong with that? They have the money for support and nannies etc, I'd say that kid is going to be better off than it would have been.

Hopefully they will follow the advice that is given to all adoptive parents, which includes not having birth children after the adoption - and ensuring that they are offered lots of stability and consistency. Lots of moving around and using lots of nannies is not in the best interests of adopted children, who are likely to have attachment needs.

OchreCrab · 23/08/2025 13:24

LizzyEm · 23/08/2025 10:30

You don't know if she has fertility or health issues.
And an otherwise unwanted child gets a home. What's wrong with that? They have the money for support and nannies etc, I'd say that kid is going to be better off than it would have been.

Because the mother or extended family should be supported to look after the child instead of the child being removed.

I was very nearly at the point of adoption because I had pnd, pna and psychosis. I got very little support.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/08/2025 13:49

OchreCrab · 23/08/2025 13:24

Because the mother or extended family should be supported to look after the child instead of the child being removed.

I was very nearly at the point of adoption because I had pnd, pna and psychosis. I got very little support.

This doesn't allow for the specifics of the US, where a woman or girl who doesn't want to have a baby is unable to access a safe, legal, affordable or free termination.

Here, it's relatively simple to end an unwanted pregnancy - no need to hope that their ex (abusive, not abusive, a close family member), their rapist, an in-law, mother, grandmother, sibling, aunt, distant cousin or anybody else will be prepared to take and support a child that the mother doesn't want to carry to fullterm. And there are no massive medical bills, benefits and social housing are available, there is an adequate entitlement to maternity leave and in the vast majority of locations, a good supply of registered childcare (and benefits to assist with the cost) of returning to work.

In the US, that is not the case and therefore there will be women who did not want to be pregnant having no choice but to continue that pregnancy - and to then potentially have people that do not want to take on that child in kinship care, possible homelessness, a huge bill for medical treatment, next to no maternity leave and due to the geographic size, significantly fewer options for childcare that don't also involve the cost of maintaining a vehicle, making it less likely that somebody could be able to work.

In short, whilst here, the vast majority of babies and children that are adopted have been removed purely for their own safety, in the US, babies in particular are adopted because the mother never wanted a baby in the first place but was denied a choice prior to birth - but can make a decision about what will happen afterwards that they feel is in the best interests of the child and potentially protect them from some of the most punitive consequences of becoming pregnant in the country - the financial ones.

LidlAmaretto · 23/08/2025 14:37

BeltaLodaLife · 22/08/2025 23:40

But it’s an Italian name. And you just sat there while he made fun of it? I’d have maybe told my kid not to make fun of names just because they sound foreign… but you do you.

He actually has a 'foreign name'. Even if he was called John Smith he would have had a problem with him because he married his ideal woman. Sorry I'm not too bothered about teen crushes. If he was abusing him on Instagram about his name I absolutely would have something to say about it. He wasn't.

LidlAmaretto · 23/08/2025 14:44

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/08/2025 13:49

This doesn't allow for the specifics of the US, where a woman or girl who doesn't want to have a baby is unable to access a safe, legal, affordable or free termination.

Here, it's relatively simple to end an unwanted pregnancy - no need to hope that their ex (abusive, not abusive, a close family member), their rapist, an in-law, mother, grandmother, sibling, aunt, distant cousin or anybody else will be prepared to take and support a child that the mother doesn't want to carry to fullterm. And there are no massive medical bills, benefits and social housing are available, there is an adequate entitlement to maternity leave and in the vast majority of locations, a good supply of registered childcare (and benefits to assist with the cost) of returning to work.

In the US, that is not the case and therefore there will be women who did not want to be pregnant having no choice but to continue that pregnancy - and to then potentially have people that do not want to take on that child in kinship care, possible homelessness, a huge bill for medical treatment, next to no maternity leave and due to the geographic size, significantly fewer options for childcare that don't also involve the cost of maintaining a vehicle, making it less likely that somebody could be able to work.

In short, whilst here, the vast majority of babies and children that are adopted have been removed purely for their own safety, in the US, babies in particular are adopted because the mother never wanted a baby in the first place but was denied a choice prior to birth - but can make a decision about what will happen afterwards that they feel is in the best interests of the child and potentially protect them from some of the most punitive consequences of becoming pregnant in the country - the financial ones.

Yes that's what I felt about the US system. They don't make the decision after they have given birth when they may be traumatised or the child gorcibly removed. They don't want a child, either can't get or don't want an abortion so put the baby up for adoption. I remember seeing something where adoptive parents are introduced to the mothers of the children they want to adopt. I thought it was a far better system. It's fine saying ' support the mother to keep the baby' but that's the same as anti abortionists saying women should be ' supported ' to keep the baby. The support doesn't last for 18+ years. It rarely lasts any time at all and a woman who didn't want a child has all the responsibility and little support to get on with it.

Arran2024 · 23/08/2025 18:46

LidlAmaretto · 23/08/2025 14:44

Yes that's what I felt about the US system. They don't make the decision after they have given birth when they may be traumatised or the child gorcibly removed. They don't want a child, either can't get or don't want an abortion so put the baby up for adoption. I remember seeing something where adoptive parents are introduced to the mothers of the children they want to adopt. I thought it was a far better system. It's fine saying ' support the mother to keep the baby' but that's the same as anti abortionists saying women should be ' supported ' to keep the baby. The support doesn't last for 18+ years. It rarely lasts any time at all and a woman who didn't want a child has all the responsibility and little support to get on with it.

In the UK most birth parents and adopters meet up. I adopted in 2001 and met the bps.

The big difference is that UK birth parents can't choose the adopters. Social services approve adopters and the child's social worker then chooses from the pool of prospective adopters. The only issue they can have any influence over is religion of the adopters.

In America, money talks, and adopters are often chosen by birth mothers for the lifestyle they can offer the child, rather than how emotionally stable they are.

LidlAmaretto · 23/08/2025 19:12

Arran2024 · 23/08/2025 18:46

In the UK most birth parents and adopters meet up. I adopted in 2001 and met the bps.

The big difference is that UK birth parents can't choose the adopters. Social services approve adopters and the child's social worker then chooses from the pool of prospective adopters. The only issue they can have any influence over is religion of the adopters.

In America, money talks, and adopters are often chosen by birth mothers for the lifestyle they can offer the child, rather than how emotionally stable they are.

yes that is probably true. Especially if you come from a low socio economic background and are young you would probably think if they can provide monetarily they would be well looked after

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