Tell me your most ridiculous complaints

[Bumbaglina]

I’m fed up today, I work for a solicitors and I’ve got a client who whatever I do it’s not good enough, it’s a perfectly normal file, nothing unusual all going along as most other files do.

First I told her something would take approximately 6 weeks, it came back in four and she complained I’d upset her because she thought it would take 6 weeks, why didn’t I tell her it would be four? I told
her something else would probably take a couple of months but I was very clear I don’t know exactly how long and it was only an estimate and on the 2 month mark she’s on the phone screaming and shouting why hasn’t it come back yet, I said a couple of months and this is 2 months exactly! The she sent something to me in the post and I received it a week later, why didn’t I receive it sooner? As if I have any control over Royal Mail? And so on and so on, it’s at the point that when I see her name pop up on my email I brace myself for what will be her next complaint.

Make me feel better with your ridiculous customers!

Bank call centre. A man rang to complain that we had allowed him to go overdrawn ( nothing to do with him spending his own money, of course) and that we should be checking everyone’s bank accounts every single morning to ensure this doesn’t happen.

Another chap I did feel a bit sorry for. He’d been paid, let’s say £200. But he’d gone £20 overdrawn that week, so his balance on payday now stood at £180. No matter how many ways I tried to explain it, he could not understand why he didn’t have £200 when that’s what he had been paid. In the end I suggested he speak to his work who could prove to him that he had been paid the £200. And hopefully help him. understand why he only had £180.

I have 2 examples that come to mind. I used to work in an opticians. People with an active account get an automatic reminder email/letter prompting them that their eyes are due to be tested again as it’s been X-amount of time since their last test (standard recall period is 2yrs, sometimes it’s 1yr, sometimes it’s custom for whatever reason the optician feels they need to be seen sooner) anyway, I answered the phone one Sunday morning and got an earful from a lady because she received a letter addressed to her husband about his eye test being due and he has “been dead for 6 months so he can’t bloody well come can he” I gave my condolences, apologised about the letter and explained they were automatically generated when an accounts active. She’s couldn’t comprehend why his account was still active when he was dead. I asked her if she had phoned to deactivate it, no was the answer. So, we were supposedly meant to be mind readers, obviously.
Another time, was when we had training at 9am on a Friday morning before the shop opened at 10 (we did this every last Friday of the month) this particular day we had training on the shop floor, as we discussed the new iPad system and how to use it. The sign on the door says “Friday - open at 10am” it has always been this way, when you phone the telephone line it says “we open at 10am” this man stood outside the shop (shutters were down on the main windows still) but he saw us all inside, so he decided to try the door. Locked. He started pounding the door. We were clearly in a ‘meeting’ but the manager went to the door to explain we were closed for training and we opened at 10, this man lost his head. Effing and blinding, calling us all a bunch of stupid lazy idiots, saying that if a customer is there and so are we, you don’t turn them away/what kind of service was that.
Turns out, he only wanted his glasses cleaned and tightened anyway (a free service by the way, he wasn’t even planning on actually paying us for anything)

In a Saturday job at BHS years ago, a snooty woman approached me saying she was looking for some cream towels and asked what shades we had. Thinking she wasn’t set on cream, I started listing the colours we had available. She huffed at me and said, “No no NO! What shades of cream do you have?” She was most put out to discover that the answer was “cream”.

In my first office job, I answered the phone “Hello, company name” and a confused voice replied “Is that the Co-Op bed department?” When I said “Sorry, you’ve got the wrong number”, she replied angrily, “Well this is the number they gave me”. I said she must have misdialled and she wouldn’t have it; she kept saying “Well are you sure?” - as if I somehow might have missed being surrounded by divans and four-posters.

Another job a few years later, someone phoned to complain the item they’d bought at an exhibition stand was faulty and demanded a refund. I was confused because I worked in marketing (no idea how a customer service call had been redirected to me) and knew very well we didn’t sell products through exhibitions. When I asked was it definitely our stand, he rather airily replied “Oh, I don’t know who the stand belonged to. But you sell it, so you can refund me.” He was furious when I said we couldn’t refund him for an item he’d bought from another retailer; apparently it was “terrible customer service”. Erm… you’re not a customer, matey!

Lecturer at a Northern English university.
First year student: X lecturer's accent is too Northern. It's hard to understand.

We once had a complaint from a customer that a payment she was expecting from us hadn't been received by her but she had given us incorrect bank details! She said it was our fault for not confirming the bank details she had provided before making the payment!

They didn’t issue you with a crystal ball, @disappointedconfused? Very shoddy of your employers, I’d say!

There's a lovely 'Recovery Cafe' near my surgery which I go into quite a lot when I'm working. They do all sorts of gorgeous cakes, meals, drinks etc and it is 95% staffed by people who are ether recovered addicts or have mental health issues/disabilities.

I was ordering a takeaway coffee a few weeks when a typical know it all grey pony-tailed, 'Look at me, I've read Les Misérables in the original French' type ( we get a lot where I live) went to the counter and demanded to see 'someone in charge' as the Bubble and Squeak he had eaten was actually, in fact NOT B and S as the ingredients simply didn't tally with what he felt was culinarily correct.

It's a sodding not for profit lovely, lovely café and community centre you dick
The manager looked at me and we both had to stifle a laugh. It was ridiculous

I worked in a book shop, answered the phone one day, 'hello, company name x speaking how can I help?'
Man -'Have you got free range meat today?'
Me- 'sorry I think you've called the wrong number we are X company name
Man- just tell me if you have the free range meat
Me- we don't sell any meat at all, we are X company, we sell books
Man - huffs loudly 'put me through to the butchers department
Me- 'i can confirm we do not have a butchers department, I could see if we have a book about free range meat, but that's as close as you are going to get from x company name'
Man - generally rants and raves about how I'm being ridiculous and I should be able to give him this information
Me- 'sir, who do you think you've called'
Man- 'tesco'
Me- 'you are not speaking to anyone in Tesco, you have called X company, if you want to know what Tesco has in stock, you need to call them'
Man- Huffs and puts down the phone

😂

I actually did complain once while on holiday in the carribbean about the rain. It was heavy rain for the second day, I called up customer services of virgin holiday and demanded we were moved to another hotel with more indoor entertainment and some board games seeing as it was raining and it shouldnt have been raining that much 😂
I wasnt rude, no they didnt move me and if you are the person I comlained to, I apologise 😂

This one sticks in my head because of the level of absolute rage displayed.

This is about 40 years ago - I was a teen working at the Customer Service desk at Sainsbury's. It's Saturday, it is busy, and there is a queue. An older, tiny, neat and well-dressed lady arrives at the front of a queue, huffing her displeasure at being made to wait. She has a toaster. She explains it is not working, and she wants to have a refund.

It is in a Tesco own-brand box. She confirmed she bought it from Tesco.

On being told it wasn't something we could help her with (with a polite explanation) lady who looked like someone's beloved sweet grandma exploded in a level of foul-mouthed aggression that caused the 6ft Viking dude in the queue behind her to step back in shock (and cover his child in the trolly seats ears)

She was screaming so loud that 'one fucking shop is the same as the next fucking shop and just give her her fucking money' that onlookers came from all over the store to goggle while she grabbed display stuff and threw it at the staff counter, emptied the whole of the sandwiches and wraps on the floor while screaming truly shocking obscenities.

Luckily, the crowd she drew in to gawk intervened when, in a final volley, she threw the toaster at my head and launched herself at the counter to climb over and attempt to slap me in the face.

Four of the men in the queue grabbed her, lifted her off her feet and manhandled her out of the shop.

I am sure it would have been recorded and posted on the internet these days, but it was before mobile phones (and in the years when smaller stores didn't really have security)

In those days, they didn't take it further, and they certainly didn't really back up the staff, so I was told to go deal with her and apologise a few days later when she came back to complain about how she was treated and to 'get her toaster back'

Working in a pharmacy, I’ve got many stories to tell! The one that sticks out the most was this one couple.

They had asked for Solpadeine Plus, I sold them Solpadeine Plus. Obviously, did the usual script of how to take it, how it contains Codeine etc… They stormed in about 10 minutes after the transaction;

Woman: “This contains codeine.”
Me: “Yes, I sold you the item you asked for and did state that it contains Codeine”.
Him: “Solpadeine Plus does NOT usually contain Codeine. You have tried to poison my wife!”
Me: “Are you thinking of the Solpadeine Headache Relief that only contains paracetamol and caffeine? Comes in a white box and is available on the shelf, not behind the counter?”
Woman: “NO! I wanted Solpadeine Plus in the red box that you can only buy over the counter.”
Me: “Okay. But this IS Solpadeine Plus and it has always contained Codeine.”
Him: “NO. It hasn’t always you rude little witch.”
Me: “I can assure you, it has. Please don’t call me names, I’m trying to help you.”
Wife: “I cannot tolerate Codeine so I know what I can and can’t take! Educate yourself!”

The pharmacist came out and told them very politely that I had sold them what they asked for. They asked the pharmacist if he could “just take the Codeine out” for them… I despair.

I used to work on cruise ships:

• the midnight buffet was too late
• the lifts only went up and down and not side to side
• the helicopter that took the staff home each night kept them awake all night (there is no such helicopter)
• the crew were too "foreign"
• prices were displayed in dollars instead of "real money"
• ship was moving while at sea
• weather not as warm as they wanted
• weather too hot

I know someone who took a turkey back to the supermarket because it was dry -AFTER they'd cooked it. They reimbursed her!

what? I think it’s you that has the bizarre attitude. You ask “ what am I supposed to do?” The only answer to that question is to ensure you get there on time. I agree that it is common courtesy to inform them, but there should never be any expectation that you will still be seen. And the clinician/business owner has every right to charge if they miss out on business due to a client’s tardiness

Wow! Please tell me you didn't actually apologise to her for her aggressive attempts to harass, bully and injure you? Why wasn't she instantly banned for life at the time? Even in the days before CCTV and phone cameras, it's not like there weren't plenty of witnesses who would have unanimously backed you up in a case of your word against hers.

It's absolutely hilarious in the reading, all these years later; but you would obviously have been terrified and in serious danger at the time, had the customers not been there to back you up and protect you.

Are the people who think that 'all shops' are all one great big organisation, owned by the same people, really so monstrously thick; or is it just sheer entitlement and the assumption that the world is there for them, and all of the other people only exist as props to make their lives nicer?

Of course I did, have you never worked in retail?

Managers never back a member of staff. The POPE could say he witnessed that I acted reasonably, but the customer is always right. Always (especially back then)

So, I was told to go, suck it up, apologise and give the woman her toaster.

@dendroglyph wow!

Sounds like my abusive ex who, whilst we were going through family court proceedings, complained to the judge that I was "cleverer" than him and had used the Internet to "research the law" 🤣

😂Ended up having to resort to asking him if he had nipples before he understood....

I'm a solicitor at a firm which practices one area of law. Our website is very clear about this. We'll receive enquiries a few times a year regarding other areas of law which we will respond to saying we can't help but point the enquirier in the right direction.

One man telephoned and argued with me that by law I must take on his case as he was kind enough to telephone me out of all the law firms in the country. I responded explaining i don't know anything about the area of law he was enquiring about neither did anyone in my firm. I didn't even study it as part of my degree. But nope he insisted on us so complained.

My old neighbour phoned the council nuisance noise team to report me because my cat (sitting in my garden) made his dog bark.

Aww that’s lovely to hear, obviously we know no one ever wants to have to pay for a solicitor, so it’s lovely when people say thank you!

I'm 99% certain my old neighbour rang the rspca to complain about my cat being mistreated

The rspca lady came out and demanded to see said cat

I pointed at the (very pampered) dog who was snoring away happily in her bed

The rspca lady demanded to see my cat

I didn't own a bloody cat and told her this repeatedly but she refused to leave without seeing the cat I didn't have (I'm not a fan of cats and the dog was reactive to them)

She gave me a bollocking in the end and stomped off down my front path

So I got complained at for mistreating an animal i didn't own in the first place!

The midnight buffet was too late

This has reminded me of a stupid question rather than a stupid complaint. I was working for a large retailer where suppliers could pay to be featured in “picks of the month”. I was negotiating with one supplier who wanted to be included and their rep asked how long they would be a pick of the month for.

Erm… three days? A week? What do you bloody think?!

Sounds entirely reasonable. Did the complainant also mention your horse had a long face?