Feeling a bit sad - ‘friend’ blocked and deleted me from fb.

[GirlPolo]

And I have no idea why! She was one of my very closest friends, we were having discussions about days out over the summer hols and I went to message her only to see that she’s blocked and deleted me. I just cannot understand it. There were no disagreements, it was all good when we saw each other. I genuinely thought we were best friends. Or at least very, very close friends. Even if she unblocks me the friendship is done, I can’t get past this 😔
Anyone had anything similar happen to them?

This has happened to me with 2 friends. No advice just solidarity as it’s utterly baffling and SO hurtful.

I did. She ignored me.

Ive also had 2 close friends do this to me over the years, a long time ago . The first one did it after i had a late miscarriage and was really down after going through labour and birth , saw she blocked me and blanked me when we saw her in town
The other did the same but after the birth of my baby the following year . Asked me to be her bridesmaid then i had my baby and she didnt want to know. Also blanked me when she saw me
No idea why nothing happened with either but it really upset me at the time and for a long time after
Now i couldnt care less about either of them ( 10 years on )

This happened to me. Not that close a friend but still someone I was in contact with now and again. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding (which was a surpise as we only worked together).

Then she got divorced.

Then I did.

She said v slim pickings (on the men front) at our age. We laughed about that.

Then I met someone.

Then we got engaged and when she saw it on socials, she immediately blocked me on every channel.

No part of me wants to rekindle.

Somebody, somewhere, has badmouthed you to her to such an extent she’s gone NC. You need to get to the bottom of that.

Of course the fact that she’s believed someone else over you, without even speaking to you speaks volumes about the type of person she is. You’re probably better off without.

Similar happened to me after an intense 8 year friendship that started when we met at a mother & baby group.

I was saddened when she cooled the friendship drastically. Initially I tried to meet up or invite her to things. Then I just benignly hovered on her social media and a year or so later I noticed she had unfriended me.

I recognised that we didn’t have much in common. Put simply she was very organised, healthy, energetic, motivated and ambitious. My life was rather chaotic, I couldn’t drive, I was unhealthy, skint and prone to being late to things we’d organised. So I could see why I’d piss someone off, but I like to think I was good company and supportive towards her.

10 years later my daughter and her daughter are 16 and end up going to the same sixth form college. Of course they get chatting because they remember so many fun times together.

I reached out to her via text, largely out of curiosity, and she appeared happy to hear from me. Messages went back and forth as an awful lot has changed for us both in the intervening years.

We are only friends on facebook but do comment on each other’s posts. Our daughters will chat if they see each other out and about.

I think it’s interesting to consider the longevity of life. I was so hurt by what happened, however I don’t think she could have ever envisioned that our daughters would circumnavigate her unilateral decision all those years ago and reconnect us.

I’m well past wanting a friendship with her now.

I’m a loyal and nostalgic old bugger who likes to hold on to friends. However if I were you I’d leave your friend to her own devices and invest time and energy in other friendships.

That’s so weird. Sorry OP, but you don’t want a person like that in your life xx

A friend done this to me back in March. There was no reasoning to it. I was actually talking to her partner at the time it happened and he was also clueless. I don’t have many friends so found it really hurtful. I did try reaching out but my number was also blocked.

Ive not attempted to speak to her since, even if she got in touch I’m not sure I would be able to move on. I seen her recently at a shop and I just turned the other way, wasn’t giving her the opportunity to be the one to ignore me.

It’s really hurtful when people do this with no explanation and not giving you a chance to discuss things. It will take time but you will move on from it.

Because then I’m giving her all the power and I’d rather not react and hold my head up high. If I messaged and then she blocked me there I’d feel even worse.

Something similar has happened to me. I now have a rule which is if you're not mature enough and polite enough to respect our friendship to tell me what I have done wrong before blocking me etc then you're not my type of person and not worth my time. It doesn't align with my values of open and honest communication in any relationship. It's passive aggressive and dismissive.

OP- ignore the people suggesting you chase after her. Friendship should be reciprocal, not one person begging the other for an explanation/contact.

I've lost both my mum and my dad and neither of those times I was grieving did I spitefully block close friends who supported me for no reason. Grief isnt an excuse to act like an arsehole to other people who have cared about you and been there for you.

I am sorry this has happened but honestly, it says way more about her than it does about you and none of it is good.

I get that you don't want to message her on Whatsapp but I'd do it for a final chance for her to have her say on why she's blocked you on other social media.

When I've deleted and blocked people off Facebook it's usually I don't want drama with eg one person so I did that, the ones who wanted to find me eg on Whatsapp or Instagram did so and if I felt inclined I accepted them.

You dont need that in friendship. It hurts though. It def puts me off making new friends this behaviour.

OP, I guess you could send…

”So, are you going to tell me why you’ve decided to end our friendship, or are you just going to block me on here too?”

😉 she’ll probably just block you on that too, but you might feel better for it? 🤷‍♀️

Ach I'm so sorry - this is such a shocking and upsetting thing to happen. You know, some people seemingly just turn on a sixpence and treat you unexpectedly badly. As much as you will want to rationalise this, even to the point of examining your own behaviour to ascertain whether or not you have committed a terrible crime against friendship, you will possibly never find out why she blocked you out of the blue. Some things just don't have a satisfactory conclusion.

I'm sure it has made you feel terrible. Suspect it's a 'her' thing and not a you thing...particularly as she has form for this. You didn't think she would do it to you. She's clearly not emotionally mature or a good communicator when it comes to friends. That's not your fault.

I doubt it’s the same thing.but when my “friend” did this to me, she was sleeping with my now exH

I did laugh at this

But glad your aren’t that one @GirlPolo

thi I would go round and knock on door and say is everything ok

do you have shit stirring friends ?

That's quite an assumption, and also quite judgemental.

That's what most of us would do, I would anyway, knock on the door to see if she's ok. If no answer or a rude response then you've got your answer.

I think at least if you ask her then you can get some closure.
I was blocked from texting someone I'd been friends with for 20 years.

She didn't say anything, my texts just kept bouncing back. I didn't know why but then when I thought about it, it was during the Covid lock down. We weren't allowed to mix with friends and she kept saying it would be fine we could sit in her garden etc. I'd just got over a long bout of Covid and was a bit spooked about catching it again after that happened and she worked in a hospital.

Thats the only thing I can think of for a reason. Anyway I never asked her why, I just left it. I saw her in Asda a few weeks ago and she turned her back to me & pretended she hadn't seen me but I knew she had.

If anything that would make me feel even more head held high, if I exhausted every communication tool. Two outcomes, 1) she ignores you and blocks you on WhatsApp and you know she's not a friend and can move on satisfied you tried your best, or 2) she replies as to why with either a good reason or a bad one, and you can react accordingly?

Sounds like she thrives on drama or has been told something u have said and she has taken it out of context.
I had a friend like this and we were close for quite some time, and then at the drop of a hat she "exchanged" me for someone who suited her needs more, at the time.
Im polite to her if I see her, but I can now see that unfortunately, she doesn't have "real" friends, just acquaintances that serve her well when she needs them.

You're doing the right thing by not whatsapp'ing her. At least u have some power here. If she wants to start something ridiculous, she can start it with someone else. Don't even get onto a conversation with her unless she wants to "talk" like an adult x

Sounds like she thrives on drama or has been told something u have said and she has taken it out of context.
I had a friend like this and we were close for quite some time, and then at the drop of a hat she "exchanged" me for someone who suited her needs more, at the time.
Im polite to her if I see her, but I can now see that unfortunately, she doesn't have "real" friends, just acquaintances that serve her well when she needs them.

You're doing the right thing by not whatsapp'ing her. At least u have some power here. If she wants to start something ridiculous, she can start it with someone else. Don't even get into a conversation with her unless she wants to "talk" like an adult x

Personally, I would block her too, but I'm petty.

I must confess I did this to a friend last year. I had spent a lot of good time giving her lifts, listening to her stories, and problems and generally being her gofer. She phoned me up on my birthday and told me she had to put me aside (her words) as she had been so busy with her holiday and did not have time to send me a card. She then went on about getting ready for a marvellous gala evening she was going to. I dumped her. She tried 8 times to get in touch but I really could not be bothered and was glad when she gave up.