Feeling a bit sad - ‘friend’ blocked and deleted me from fb.

[GirlPolo]

And I have no idea why! She was one of my very closest friends, we were having discussions about days out over the summer hols and I went to message her only to see that she’s blocked and deleted me. I just cannot understand it. There were no disagreements, it was all good when we saw each other. I genuinely thought we were best friends. Or at least very, very close friends. Even if she unblocks me the friendship is done, I can’t get past this 😔
Anyone had anything similar happen to them?

😂😂😂I saw this thread too

Out of interest, how old are you? The way you talk about transfers of power and the drama of never feeling the same to the point the friendship is dead sounds so over dramatic 🤷‍♂️

can’t a girl just have a sulk and cut herself off for a bit?

is she generally an attention seeker? Leaving you on WhatsApp is likely deliberate - she sounds like a complete child.

I would message on WhatsApp. Ask if you’ve done something wrong.

I don’t think it matters about power and holding your head up high etc.

You might get the answers you’re looking for, and if you don’t then at least you know where you stand.

Could you maybe have criticised her unintentionally or made comments about the way she does things with her kids etc? I have a friend who does this to me so I ignored her for ages and she was so confused. It didn’t even enter her head that she may have said things she shouldn’t have (not suggesting you’ve done that, but just wonder if she’s been offended by something).

This all sounds a bit odd to me. If my good friend didn’t reply to me after a few messages I’d be round their house to check they are ok. Even if I’d annoyed them over something, I can’t imagine them deliberately blocking me on social media etc. (or that I’d notice to be honest!) It all sounds a bit dramatic and teenagey to me but maybe I’m old. You seem pretty certain it’s deliberate blocking and if that’s the case, the whole thing doesn’t sound very healthy and you’re probably better without this ‘friend’ in your life.

Sorry to hear that so many others have been through the same thing.

I’ve just remembered it was her birthday about a month ago and she posted all over social media about her night out and guess what, I wasn’t invited to that. Guess there have been clues there for a while 😔

This happened to me and a friend I had known many many years. She was extremely anxious during COVID and suddenly raged at me for something which although was a mistake I made in my own life, was perfectly understandable with no consequence to anyone and didn't affect her personally at all.
My mental health had been bad that day and as I'd supported her issues for many years, I didn't see the big deal and thought she'd show some care to me. I was the person that turned up within minutes for her emergencies, babysat get children and consoled her through so much for years . She told me she was a b*tch to people and I just never saw it myself , ever. I had rose tinted glasses on.

I found out later she'd had a row with someone else that day, then raged at me instead as an outlet.
I apologised (stupidly), was calm, understanding of her stress and anxiety, offered to meet up and talk a few times.

I had to accept someone I thought of as a sister, didn't care about my mental health, my awful day, it was all about her anxiety throughout the friendship, and her pride. It really hurt. Her partner was mortified at her behaviour and always spoke to me if we bumped into eachother and was really nice. It affected our children too between the families which was so very sad.

She got in touch a year later to apologise, explained that she had form and had done it to others before, but it was way too late and I have much better friends in my life anyway who helped me see reason throughout this. I will never allow anyone to treat me like that again.

😂😂

oh you’re kidding me

op you said that you were besties and the blocking came out of the blue and you had no idea at all that she felt like this.

But then turns out she didn’t invite her “bestie” to a birthday celebrations

so your surprise at the blocking was clearly bull shit

have you two actually even seen one another since … oh I don’t know, since the beginning of the year? 😆

Please take this the way I intend, but could it be that you were way more invested in the relationship that she was? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not on to block someone, ghost them etc. but perhaps she was playing at being so friendly. I’ve met people like that over the years, everyone is their BFF until they aren’t. Perhaps see it from that perspective. If she has changed her number and you can’t get in touch, let’s see how long it takes for her to try and get in contact with you? Advice about ringing her is great, if you feel you can, but bear in mind she is way more likely to try and make an excuse and not tell you the truth (if she is indeed intending to block you).

“A bit odd”

understatement

turns out the op has “just remembered” she wasn’t invited to her besties birthday celebration last month and only found out via photos on SM

I am wondering if this bestie blocked the op for safety reasons

Not acutely relevant, but did you wish her happy bday?

God I hate people like this.
Don't give her anymore of your time, OP.
Some people never grow out of schoolyard mentality.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Op didn’t even know it

I think this op sees this person as a bestie

but in no shape or form does this person see the op as even a friend close enough to invite to her birthday celebrations (the Op just “remembered” this). I think there will be a LOT more to all this. And this person has probably my defriended the OP for very very good reason

Been there myself. I was blocked by my “internet bestie” on everything earlier in the year. She’d blocked some family too. Apparently it was to help her recovery, yet I was the only one in our wee group. We’ve met up a few times and even went on holiday a few years ago. We’re less than an hour away from each other. The others live further afield. I am still upset about it. If she has unblocked me, she’s not got back in touch. I’m not sure if I could face the rejection again by getting in touch with her first.

I think sometimes people associate others who have been kind to them with the difficult times in their lives. It could be a grief reaction.

I've had this happen to me when I went out of my way to help someone who was having a very difficult. I suppose I was part of her old life.

I think sometimes people associate others who have been kind to them with the difficult times in their lives. It could be a grief reaction

So then, as a friend you cant win!!! You're kind to them when they need you- they ghost you because it reminds them. You abandon them in their hour of need- they ghost you for being uncaring.

If someone ghosts you literally because you are kind to them then THEY arent kind themselves.

You didn't mean as much to her as you thought you did. Horrible and heartbreaking when that happens. The best thing for you to do now is move on.

I disagree with posters saying blocking people ghosting people is childish and adolescent.

I blocked and ghosted my cousin after I discovered that her and her mother took £10k from my Nan when she was dying.

I also blocked a really old friend of mine when I realised that all she ever wanted to do was talk about herself and her own problems. And never take on any advice given….. I tried on so many occasions to talk to her about it and I actually felt like a therapist not her friend.

does anybody honestly believe that it would’ve benefited me, or them, to explain to those people what they had done, and why I didn’t want to be in contact with them? It felt like a last resort tbh ….. i didnt enjoy it or get any pleasure out of it - but literally I could not deal with those people anymore

Yes. This did happen to me. Was invited to her wedding then all of a sudden blocked on everything. I had another friend that I had known for over 20 years and I had introduced them to each other, I asked her to find out why and she wouldn’t which totally broke our friendship too.

It genuinely broke my heart like getting dumped by a boyfriend and 5 years on I still have no idea what happened, but I felt very betrayed by old friend who was obviously looking after her own interests. Tbh I felt if she had no loyalty in that situation then how can I go on to trust her in other aspects given she was literally my nearest and dearest friend.

The fact that you are ruminating while they have just ghosted tells me you valued the friendship and put a lot into it.

Easier set than done, but in the words of Mel Robbins “ let them”.

I’m sorry, but this is a clear sign of emotional immaturity and avoidance personality traits. This has unfortunately happened in many under 35’s as a product of social media use; it’s easy to enter and leave online communities with no repercussions. In the real world / real communities you can’t just “ghost” someone, you might have to work with them, you might need something from them etc.

I had a really good friend block me and never speak to me again (this was like 15 years ago) still to this day I don’t know why. A mutual friend said she wasn’t getting involved. It really hurt me at first and still confuses me but life moves on. Hope you are ok x

Call her from someone else’s phone, if you are going to get in touch

I know you say you don’t have many friends and she is important.

id think very carefully about how much energy you put into this, she has form for doing this. Your energy may well be better used positively finding and building new relationships

Same here, we were both twenty and she was my closest friend in University, she decided to terminate an unexpected pregnancy and I supported her as much as I could emotionally and financially as we're in Ireland and she had to travel to the UK for termination back then.

When she got home she froze me out as I was a reminder of a bad time in her life, she would be partying with our friends (who all knew what was happening) and they would exclude me as she was vulnerable and needed fun. Our wider circle of friends, who didn't know about the termination, saw I was being frozen out so presumed I had done something horrendous and distanced themselves too. It was truly awful and I've never felt lonelier in my life.

Er - it was not bullshit. And we generally saw each other every couple of weeks. Maybe she got bored with me.

Yep. Agree. If she has form for it I don’t think it’s worth wasting energy on someone who clearly doesn’t value friendships and can throw them away without a second thought.