Feeling a bit sad - ‘friend’ blocked and deleted me from fb.

[GirlPolo]

And I have no idea why! She was one of my very closest friends, we were having discussions about days out over the summer hols and I went to message her only to see that she’s blocked and deleted me. I just cannot understand it. There were no disagreements, it was all good when we saw each other. I genuinely thought we were best friends. Or at least very, very close friends. Even if she unblocks me the friendship is done, I can’t get past this 😔
Anyone had anything similar happen to them?

Her dad died about a year ago and the ex about nine months or so. I really don’t think it’s grief related.

A year is no time at all when it's such a close loss. Have you asked her how she was during the year since her father died? If not, there's your answer.

Just checked and interestingly she has not blocked me on WhatsApp. So I could message her on that but I’m not going to. I’m going to keep some dignity!

Yes of course.

If pushed I’d say that someone has said something to her about me. Though I have zero idea what on earth that might be.

Now I want you to contact her on Watsapp so we can find out if she’s deliberately blocked you and why 😙

If someone has said something to her about you and it bothers her to the point of blocking you, you'd think she'd at least verify the issue with you, given it's second hand.

Although you already have, try not to give it too much head space. It might have nothing to do with you at all.

😂😂

This actually happened to me last year on WhatsApp. I was talking to one of my best friends and mid conversation about when to meet up and I was blocked. l And then I messaged her asking if everything was OK, blocked too. I don’t have Facebook or Insta so couldn’t try those methods.

it really is heartbreaking - probably worse than back in my dating days and I’d get ignored by a boy. It hurts especially when you don’t know what you did wrong.

i’m not sure what to say other than please don’t dwell on it. If she was a true friend she wouldn’t just block you like that with no explanation. It is really strange but you have to hold your values and take comfort knowing you wouldn’t do that.

Im very sorry!

If you’re not going to ask her, there’s really little point in wondering why she’s done it. Could be anything. Personally, I’d want an answer and I think you’ve nothing to lose by messaging, other than perhaps hearing a truth you don’t want to hear.

I disagree, I think as long as you don't actually stalk a friend who has cut you off it's not akin to baby reindeer to just feel upset and want an explanation.

If you would just shrug and move on at any friend cutting you off what's the point of having friends? That's like saying if my husband just left tommorow I wouldn't care.

🤭😂

I agree with this.

There will be an excuse - some perceived sleight of something you didn't do, rather than something you did.

"You forgot the anniversary of my pet rabbit from when I was 5 - I thought I meant more to you than that" or some other such nonsense, in the hope that you'll apologise profusely just to get her friendship back.

It's about power and ego.

OP, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. The same thing has happened to me, twice. On both occasions, the person concerned was a very close friend for years, and then just disappeared. One moved house leaving no forwarding address and stopped answering emails. I believe I know where the other one is living, but if I try to contact her I get no response. In both cases, I'd love to know what I'm supposed to have done to upset them. Coincidentally, they were both born on the same day in the same year. Spooky or what?

I had a friend who did this. Met up a few times, then she suddenly deleted me off Facebook and never messaged me back. I sent her a message basically saying I was really hurt, couldn't understand what I had done and that anything I had done that would upset her I was sorry for. She replied like oh it's not you, I was just getting rid of people on Facebook so I can delete it. But I can see she is still active and we have mutual friends so just me she deleted. It's so weird but honestly I can't be arsed with drama in my relationships so I just moved on. It did take some time though, and I still hide if I see her.

There's always been a reason according to her, I bet. You just haven't heard the other side. And now you are on it.

You have two choices. This is dead in the water and leave it at that

Or

You what's app and ask her to go for a coffee. Say you are worried about her as she seems to have deleted her Facebook account. Just checking that she's ok and would love a catch up

Some people can be really odd and compartmentalising about friends who support them during hard times. They see those people as bad-time friends who can be trusted when things are rough, but they don;t want to hang out with them during happier times, perhaps because they associate those supportive friends with periods of grief. I have had this happen to me in the past. Wanted and needed for long soul-searching coffee chats but not invited for cocktails with the girls. It used to upset me until I realised this. Could it be something like this? You felt close because she confided so much but actually she likes to hang out with friends who haven;t seen her at her worst once she is feeling a bit stronger?

What are the “reasons” she’s had for blocking other friends like a drama seeking silly school child?

How long have you been friends?
any mutual friends?

'It just hurts because I WAS a good friend to her, supporting her through her dad’s final days and death, supporting her when her ex boyfriend (who she was still in love with) CS.'

I understand that your friend has a history of cutting people off suddenly but this stood out to me. I am not a person who falls out with people but in the years following bereavement, I was not only hurting but incredibly sensitive - to the point of paranoia at times.

This was heartbreaking to read.

I was ghosted by a friend recently as the op was. I wasn't sure what i did wrong. I know what she said I did now, as mutual friends asked me if it was true. She said I was only ever sad, I messaged her constantly, it was all too much for her.
Except, those are the things she did to me, sometimes 20+ messages a day saying how awful she felt.

I couldn't understand it all, I was very distressed that she just dumped me, especially as I'd been so patient, and just thoughtful of her really. To turn it around and say it was me doing it felt especially cruel, because what can you say? Actually, no, it's her that's a miserable cow?!

You've made me realise she must want to escape how she felt and associated me with those feelings. I still wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her though.

I agree with you, when a friend cut me out it was because she perceived I wasn't in contact with her often enough. At no point did it occur to her that she could have called me or messaged to say "hey miss you lets meet up soon", she just had a strop unbeknownst to me and decided to wash her hands of me instead and then strung me along every time I messaged her saying she was busy/ill until I took a hint. Mutual friends told me what her issue was and at that point I'd gone past hurt and was just angry.

I've since heard the phrase "main character energy" and it describes her perfectly. I've also learned from it all that I'm the type of person who can have friendships where we go a couple of months without talking and then meet up for a catch up and it's just life, whereas not everybody else can do that.

.....Anyway op I agree it might be something you haven't done. I would let your mutual friends know you have no idea what the problem is and they might be able to pass on any answers you need.

You’re not going to call her?