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Feeling a bit sad - ‘friend’ blocked and deleted me from fb.

419 replies

GirlPolo · 17/08/2025 21:13

And I have no idea why! She was one of my very closest friends, we were having discussions about days out over the summer hols and I went to message her only to see that she’s blocked and deleted me. I just cannot understand it. There were no disagreements, it was all good when we saw each other. I genuinely thought we were best friends. Or at least very, very close friends. Even if she unblocks me the friendship is done, I can’t get past this 😔
Anyone had anything similar happen to them?

OP posts:
GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 20:49

Laxoverhols · 18/08/2025 19:49

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Op didn’t even know it

I think this op sees this person as a bestie

but in no shape or form does this person see the op as even a friend close enough to invite to her birthday celebrations (the Op just “remembered” this). I think there will be a LOT more to all this. And this person has probably my defriended the OP for very very good reason

Why for ‘very good reason’?

yes of course I wished her a happy birthday and sent a card! Stupidly I thought we’d have a celebration at a future point because she didn’t mention anything. We’d usually exchange presents when we meet up - which obviously hasn’t happened.

OP posts:
Someone2025 · 18/08/2025 21:00

GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 20:43

Er - it was not bullshit. And we generally saw each other every couple of weeks. Maybe she got bored with me.

Stop putting the blame on yourself, why aren’t you looking at her as being the problem, I personally wouldn’t bother with her anymore or try to contact her

Bluedenimdoglover · 18/08/2025 21:09

You can't second guess what's going on in anyone's head. Just phone her. If no answer, and you really want to know, the only option is to visit and speak face to face. Face to face would be my preferred option. You can't see someone's eyes and expressions otherwise.

Laxoverhols · 18/08/2025 21:24

You “forgot” that your best friend very intentionally excluded you from her birthday celebrations

and didn’t give you one fig of a thought because she then posted pictures of the celebrations on SM

since that incident a month ago… have you spoken to one another? Seen one another?

Bonsatater · 18/08/2025 21:26

Happymover · 17/08/2025 21:33

I’ve never been involved with FB and when I read stuff like this I’m glad! Are you seriously going to accept this at face value and assume what you describe as a close friendship is now over? Despite saying everything is fine between you and you’ve not had cross words??

She could have accidentally done it. It could be some kind of FB glitch. But FFS get yourself into the real world and phone her and ask if everything is ok. Presumably if you are close friends you have her phone number. 🤷‍♀️

She's tried messaging but thinks she's blocked on that too

Laxoverhols · 18/08/2025 21:27

GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 20:43

Er - it was not bullshit. And we generally saw each other every couple of weeks. Maybe she got bored with me.

For how long have you been seeing her every couple of weeks?

have you seen her since a month ago seeing her celebrating her birthday with friends on social media?

do you not have any mutual friends at all?

GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 21:27

Laxoverhols · 18/08/2025 21:24

You “forgot” that your best friend very intentionally excluded you from her birthday celebrations

and didn’t give you one fig of a thought because she then posted pictures of the celebrations on SM

since that incident a month ago… have you spoken to one another? Seen one another?

I had indeed forgotten. We’ve seen each other once since then and it was one of our usual fun nights…..nothing out of the ordinary.

OP posts:
Donsyb · 18/08/2025 21:27

MrsEMR · 17/08/2025 21:22

Did you recently ask her to look after your 19 month old DC for 4 days in October?

Genius 😂

Laxoverhols · 18/08/2025 21:28

GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 21:27

I had indeed forgotten. We’ve seen each other once since then and it was one of our usual fun nights…..nothing out of the ordinary.

And you didn’t think to ask why you were excluded from her birthday celebrations?!

Squirrelintree · 18/08/2025 21:28

MrsEMR · 17/08/2025 21:22

Did you recently ask her to look after your 19 month old DC for 4 days in October?

Where is the laugh emoji when you need it?!

GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 21:29

Laxoverhols · 18/08/2025 21:27

For how long have you been seeing her every couple of weeks?

have you seen her since a month ago seeing her celebrating her birthday with friends on social media?

do you not have any mutual friends at all?

Yes seen her once since her birthday. We have one mutual friend and I’ve asked her to do some digging but she hasn’t responded and I’m loath to put her in an awkward position.

OP posts:
Laxoverhols · 18/08/2025 21:31

GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 21:29

Yes seen her once since her birthday. We have one mutual friend and I’ve asked her to do some digging but she hasn’t responded and I’m loath to put her in an awkward position.

So when you went out for this fun night with your best friend, you didn’t just ask?

How long have you been friends with her op

this is just so unfathomable to me when I think of my two best friends for 25 years. Not being invited and then not even asking my friend what’s going on

one mutual friends… she went to be the birthday celebrations?

Laxoverhols · 18/08/2025 21:32

GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 21:29

Yes seen her once since her birthday. We have one mutual friend and I’ve asked her to do some digging but she hasn’t responded and I’m loath to put her in an awkward position.

so the mutual friend hasn’t responded to you at all? Do you ever see the mutual friend independently?

Nanatobethatsme46 · 18/08/2025 21:38

GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 19:32

Sorry to hear that so many others have been through the same thing.

I’ve just remembered it was her birthday about a month ago and she posted all over social media about her night out and guess what, I wasn’t invited to that. Guess there have been clues there for a while 😔

Just carry on with your life and try not to let it take over your mind, you can go on for years wondering and going over and over it in your head (i did) i was crying over it for a while and then i thought i bet they havnt given me a 2nd thought
Both of these women kept my adult daughter as a friend on social media so they could still see what we were up to also friends of mine that they had met once on a night out for my birthday
As i said earlier now im in my late 40s not far off 50 i really dont care , people come and go , dont let what others do make you miserable

Notsuchafattynow · 18/08/2025 21:41

MrsEMR · 17/08/2025 21:22

Did you recently ask her to look after your 19 month old DC for 4 days in October?

We really need the laughing emoji back! 😂

Movingonup313 · 18/08/2025 22:10

I had similar, best friend of 15 years suddenly stopped communicating with me - i could see i was blocked on WhatsApp. Tried calling - couldn't connect. I thought long and hard about our most recent catch up and if I had done/said anything to upset her. I was pregnant and to me the catch up was same as usual. Noticed i was blocked on FB by her and her mum (I was close to her mum too). I sent an email to ask what i had done - also highlighted that I thought we were close and id have expected if I had done/said something then id be told so I/we could sort it out. No reply. That was almost 10 years ago. We had travelled together, lived together in this country, she was Godmothet to one of my children and was to be my MOH. We lived 700 miles apart . I made no demands/expectations. I am still none the wiser.

It does hurt. Sounds like she hasn't considered how this would make you feel. Id maybe wait a week or so to see if anything changes then swiftly start to move on - as hard as that is. Id keep the mutual friend out of it too. Potentially putting them in an awkward position - unless you are REALLY close to mutual friend

Moonlightbean123 · 18/08/2025 22:13

MrsEMR · 17/08/2025 21:22

Did you recently ask her to look after your 19 month old DC for 4 days in October?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Reebokker · 18/08/2025 22:17

She hasn’t blocked you , you can WhatsApp her and am sure you’ll see there is no issue . You’ve jumped to a conclusion without facts

Laxoverhols · 18/08/2025 22:20

Reebokker · 18/08/2025 22:17

She hasn’t blocked you , you can WhatsApp her and am sure you’ll see there is no issue . You’ve jumped to a conclusion without facts

turns out op forgot to mention that she wasn’t invited to bestie’s birthday celebrations and only found out about them via social media photos! Clearly the friend doesn’t regard the OP as the OP regards her

Tryingtobehappytomorrow123 · 18/08/2025 22:22

Yes, I agree, it can be very difficult to talk to people sometimes when, for whatever reason, you no longer want contact. I befriended a lady a few years ago, she needed help, support etc. I found out later, she had a bit of a harem, all there helping her etc, but over three years nothing ever changed, whatever advice, help you gave her. She drained me, and took a lot of my time, which would have been ok if I felt I was actually helping, but she just wanted to wallow in her problems. It would have done no good to have it out with her, I had to try and distance myself. Remember you have to look after yourself too, there are two sides to these stories.

SquishedMallow · 18/08/2025 22:26

LakieLady · 18/08/2025 12:45

The only thing I can think of is that :
a) you've done something to irk her that you're unaware of (in which case she's an absolute baby and you're better off without her if that's how she acts )

This cheered me up @SquishedMallow .

I was ghosted by a friend a while ago. She just stopped taking my calls, and responding to texts and emails. I gave her the benefit of the doubt for a while, because shestruggles with depression, but it's been nearly 6 months now. I was pretty pissed off, because I've helped her out no end with housing and benefit matters, helped her expedite her child's autism assessment, get DLA for him and stuff like that, and taken time off work to go to hospital appointments with her.

We both had birthdays last week, just a couple of days apart. I sent her a text saying happy birthday, still nada.

I've realised though that this is a bit of a pattern for her. She'll see one friend really a lot for a while, then just drop them for no discernible reason. She's done the same to two people that I know of, and when I've asked her about X or Y, she's just said "Oh, I don't see X/Y any more" but then swerves any questions about why.

I've decided it's her, not me, and I really can't be bothered with that sort of crap.

Funnily enough I do have a very similar story to yours...

Friend of known for many years. We've had this pattern of a 'close' friendship for a few months. Then she goes silent (could be for over a year+) then it reignites , and so the pattern continues.

She suffers with her mental health (as have I in the past) and I've always been there for her because I understand. I don't know how to put this without sounding arrogant: but I have always been quite independent with my MH struggles and the only support I've ever really wanted or sought out is medication and some solidarity from a trusted friend (her in some instances) she's more of an external crutch seeker and 'lapses' into believing outsider's can fix her or be in some way to blame for her struggles. But I've always stood by her even when it's frustrating to watch her not help herself.

Anyway: the last time she was in a bad period with her DH and considering divorce. I dropped plans to meet her at late hours just to listen to her. Took her to solicitors appointments. Sent her so many messages and listened at all hours to hers. I invested a lot of time and energy into her.

Then she stopped replying. So I read about it and the right thing to do and decided to keep on sending the odd message to show her I was still there. Then I changed tack and just sent her light hearted memes or chit chat about my day in case she wanted light relief. I kept reiterating i was always happy to pick up where we left off anytime. Then I stopped messaging and thought I'll give her a little break.

I assumed her MH must have been bad.

I then saw pictures of her partying with friends on social media and lots of back and forth messages to these friends about meet ups they were having or planning. It kicked me in the teeth and I felt really hurt. I decided to stop wasting my time after that. I felt it was really disrespectful and showed she took my support as and when she needed and discarded me when my job was done. I also had periods in that time when I could have really used a friend. I came to the conclusion it had become very one way.

She'd told me in the past about how friends had just 'had enough and dropped me because of my MH " - now I realise they probably had the same done to them as me. Sadly I think she will always be a 'victim'.

One conclusion I did come to was this (and I'm pretty sure it's accurate): she associated me with bad times in her life mental health wise because it was often when she contacted me, when she needed help. So when she was feeling better she latched on to other friends who didn't know those struggles as she wanted to escape it.

But that's no good for me. I'd end up used. So best the friendship finished.

I wonder if it was the same for your friend perhaps?

PersephoneSeethes · 18/08/2025 22:40

ThankYouNigel · 17/08/2025 21:41

Haha Mumsnet really do need to bring back the funny emoji! 😂

Yes! 🙌

naffusername · 18/08/2025 22:40

tinyspiny · 17/08/2025 21:49

You need to call her at least then you will get answers . Pre mobile phones I had a very good friend who suddenly just started blanking me and it turned out that a third person had told her that I had said something about her ( not complimentary) and she chose to believe this person rather than asking me . We sorted it out and she said she believed that the third person had been stirring but it was never quite the same afterwards .

This happened to me.

Someone I'd known and worked with for over 15 years. Took the word of the ward shit stirrer and told me I was dead to her. Blocked me on FB and WhatsApp.

Recently, her profile has been popping up on FB as "someone I might know". No idea of if this is her way to trying to return.

I know her husband from work and mine has met him a couple of times. They got on well.

People at work tried to tell her that XXX was a major witch and disruptor but she chose to believe her.

I miss her but doubt that a friendship could ever thrive again after that.

GirlPolo · 18/08/2025 22:43

Reebokker · 18/08/2025 22:17

She hasn’t blocked you , you can WhatsApp her and am sure you’ll see there is no issue . You’ve jumped to a conclusion without facts

She’s blocked me on the only way we exchange messages. I mean, why even block?! You can just delete someone as a friend and that sends the message….

OP posts:
hadenoughnows · 18/08/2025 22:47

I agree, she could just delete without blocking. When I deleted someone I just did it quietly, no blocking. I just realised they no longer had a place in my new life and moved on.