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Original poster

PIL have given us a tree

118 replies

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 17:51

Lighthearted. Sorta.

PiL are very very nice people but have a history of getting slightly impractical presents.

Recently, they came to stay with us and said they had a gift for DD1. Lovely. It was a tree.

Apparently, when she was a tiny toddler she handed MIL a seed on a walk somewhere. MIL is an excellent gardener and decided to germinate it. For the last 8ish years, she has apparently been growing it. It is now a small sapling in a hefty tub. Which it has outgrown and even to my eye, needs replanting

Here's the thing - I don't want to plant it. First, we have a small garden with mature shrubs and there is nowhere for it to go, assuming it'll grow. It'll shade stuff/ roots go under fence etc.

Plus, our garden is the approximate consistency of skree. Genuinely, I have dug holes to put in play equipmt for the children, and it's hard manual labour, incl breaking up stones etc.

But DD1 is super excited and sentimental about her very own tree, that will always be in the garden till she's grown up (etc).

Help!!

OP posts:
Dolphinnoises · 15/08/2025 17:54

What sort of tree is it?

ooooohlala · 15/08/2025 17:55

Can you stealth plant it in a nearby park? Assuming it’s not totally enormous.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 15/08/2025 17:55

Get a bigger pot?

BunniB · 15/08/2025 17:58

I would just plant the tree. I did this for my dd and her tree “Pip” is now 20’foot tall and covered in fruit. Dd loves that tree.

Make a space. Plant the tree. That’s my advice.

Bryonyberries · 15/08/2025 17:58

Can she grow it in grandma’s garden and visit it?

Moveoverdarlin · 15/08/2025 17:58

What type of tree? Buy a much bigger pot. Personally I think it’s a lovely present. Imagine keeping it, taking it with you for your next move, your daughter having it in her first garden when she’s older. It’s a really sweet gesture.

ThejoyofNC · 15/08/2025 18:00

I think you're being a misery guts. That was a really lovely gift and something for your daughter to cherish. Just plant the tree.

Skissors · 15/08/2025 18:01

Need to know the type of tree.

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:02

I don't want to plant it because it is very hard work and will take up much of a weekend. Being honest. I've just worked 2 weekends in a row and very tired.

I think a bigger pot is a good shout. I might send DH to a garden centre.

OP posts:
JDM625 · 15/08/2025 18:03

If you don't know what the tree is, install google lens on your phone, or post a pic here.

I'd buy a larger pot and keep it in that. Your DD might take it with her in years to come when the moves out. I can understand not wanting a massive tree if you have a small garden.

Almostwelsh · 15/08/2025 18:03

ThejoyofNC · 15/08/2025 18:00

I think you're being a misery guts. That was a really lovely gift and something for your daughter to cherish. Just plant the tree.

Depends what it is. If it's a weeping willow there's no way you can plant that near a house in rocky ground.

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:03

Not sure what kind of tree tbh.

OP posts:
justanotherpassword · 15/08/2025 18:04

ThejoyofNC · 15/08/2025 18:00

I think you're being a misery guts. That was a really lovely gift and something for your daughter to cherish. Just plant the tree.

This.

BreakingBroken · 15/08/2025 18:04

sometimes tree's die but your attitude is miserable.
if you plant it deep enough the roots shouldn't be an issue.
considering the planet needs more trees to combat the heat I think your selfish for not being enthusiastic about the gift.
get fil or mil to help with the digging.
i've given and received plants/trees/shrubs as gifts and find a little somewhere to plant them.

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:05

Suspect a fruit tree and therefore small. But would have to be near a fence or the patio (so risk of roots undermining in future years) or we would have to uproot some of our mature plants. Which I don't want to do.

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 15/08/2025 18:05

Agreed.

I've had to have two trees taken out and a third might have to go. (A previous owner planted a a willow and a Norway Spruce right on the boundary line.)

I tried just pruning over the years, but eventually they had to come out. It was rather expensive - both the pruning and the removal.

crumblingschools · 15/08/2025 18:07

Is there a relative willing to take it on? I think it is lovely

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:08

Ah I probably am being miserable. I am just very tired and really do not want to dig a deep hole in rocky soil in my limited time off work.

FIL and MIL cannot help with the digging as they live 3.5h away, aren't planning to visit for a bit, and plus I would never ever let two people in their 70s dig in that soil.

Last time I dug, I quite literally dug on my hands and knees with a chisel and mallet as the garden is a thin layer of soil over layers of rock that need to be broken apart by hand. It knackered my back.

OP posts:
Namechangedagain999 · 15/08/2025 18:09

Just chuck it out then.

Periperi2025 · 15/08/2025 18:09

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:05

Suspect a fruit tree and therefore small. But would have to be near a fence or the patio (so risk of roots undermining in future years) or we would have to uproot some of our mature plants. Which I don't want to do.

A fruit tree grown from seed will not be like most of the fruit trees you see planted in people's gardens. These will be on grafted rootstock that determine the eventual size.

In a small garden tree selection is a big deal.

Namechangedagain999 · 15/08/2025 18:09

It’ll probably die anyway. If you are as good a gardener as i am.

PullTheBricksDown · 15/08/2025 18:10

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:02

I don't want to plant it because it is very hard work and will take up much of a weekend. Being honest. I've just worked 2 weekends in a row and very tired.

I think a bigger pot is a good shout. I might send DH to a garden centre.

Can't this be a job for DH, with some help for DD? Or wait a couple of weeks?

Have to agree that I think you're being a bit miserable about this. It's a nice gift but you have seen it as a terrible imposition on your perfectly arranged 'already full' garden, and your daughter loving the idea doesn't seem important to you.

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 18:10

Just buy a fuck off size pot for it.

If it's as big as you say, it's unlikely the garden centre will have one big enough just order it online & have it delivered.

The thing I'm finding the strangest is MIL never having talked to DD about her tree growing.m & letting her watch it grow. IF it has actually been grown as she says it has.

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:11

@Periperi2025 what do you mean, that I can't know the size of the tree till I see it grow?

@Namechangedagain999 yeah I am a bit hopeless and DH worse.

OP posts:
Almostwelsh · 15/08/2025 18:12

Even if it's a fruit tree - I've got an apple tree that's taller than my house. And presumably your shrubs were chosen to thrive on rocky ground? This tree might just die if you plant it. I'd just keep it in a pot.