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Original poster

PIL have given us a tree

118 replies

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 17:51

Lighthearted. Sorta.

PiL are very very nice people but have a history of getting slightly impractical presents.

Recently, they came to stay with us and said they had a gift for DD1. Lovely. It was a tree.

Apparently, when she was a tiny toddler she handed MIL a seed on a walk somewhere. MIL is an excellent gardener and decided to germinate it. For the last 8ish years, she has apparently been growing it. It is now a small sapling in a hefty tub. Which it has outgrown and even to my eye, needs replanting

Here's the thing - I don't want to plant it. First, we have a small garden with mature shrubs and there is nowhere for it to go, assuming it'll grow. It'll shade stuff/ roots go under fence etc.

Plus, our garden is the approximate consistency of skree. Genuinely, I have dug holes to put in play equipmt for the children, and it's hard manual labour, incl breaking up stones etc.

But DD1 is super excited and sentimental about her very own tree, that will always be in the garden till she's grown up (etc).

Help!!

OP posts:
RentalWoesNotFun · 15/08/2025 18:13

Defo a larger plant pot. If you can’t get one use one of those massive plastic buckets with the premoulded handles as they aren’t dear. Drill holes in the bottom for drainage. Put in a layer of stones also for drainage. Then the plant.

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:13

@PullTheBricksDown of course DD matters to me, that's why I'm trying to make it work! I have one day off this weekend and exhausted, though.

DH doesn't really take charge of practical stuff

OP posts:
Peaceisenough · 15/08/2025 18:13

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:08

Ah I probably am being miserable. I am just very tired and really do not want to dig a deep hole in rocky soil in my limited time off work.

FIL and MIL cannot help with the digging as they live 3.5h away, aren't planning to visit for a bit, and plus I would never ever let two people in their 70s dig in that soil.

Last time I dug, I quite literally dug on my hands and knees with a chisel and mallet as the garden is a thin layer of soil over layers of rock that need to be broken apart by hand. It knackered my back.

That’s understandable ❤️. I have no advice though.

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:14

@RentalWoesNotFun yes good shout

OP posts:
JDM625 · 15/08/2025 18:14

I quite literally dug on my hands and knees with a chisel and mallet as the garden is a thin layer of soil over layers of rock

Sounds like a new build which are notorious for a few cm's of 'soil' then utter crap with rubble underneath 😬

Myfluffyblanket · 15/08/2025 18:14

Prune it, hard, wire it into an interesting shape then put it in an elegant little Bonsai pot with moss and stones. There are plenty of youtube tutorial videos Your daughter can keep it in her room and nurture it.

LizzieSiddal · 15/08/2025 18:15

Could you pair a photo of it here and we could identify it. It could be a good get out not to plant it if it’s large as it could affect your foundations/next doors garden/fences etc.

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:16

Honestly am I being horrible? Have never of you ever felt like you're on your knees and need a break, and don't want a tough job to do?

I guess... I'd never get someone a permanent fixture for their garden without having a word first and checking they could manage!

OP posts:
minipie · 15/08/2025 18:16

Fruit trees do well in pots and may even produce more fruit as a result of restricting the roots. You will need to keep it well watered though which may be a pain. I wouldn’t repot till we are out of this dry and hot spell. When you do repot, try to put a water reservoir of some sort into the pot - these can be filled if you go away and release water slowly, at least in theory.

Almostwelsh · 15/08/2025 18:16

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:08

Ah I probably am being miserable. I am just very tired and really do not want to dig a deep hole in rocky soil in my limited time off work.

FIL and MIL cannot help with the digging as they live 3.5h away, aren't planning to visit for a bit, and plus I would never ever let two people in their 70s dig in that soil.

Last time I dug, I quite literally dug on my hands and knees with a chisel and mallet as the garden is a thin layer of soil over layers of rock that need to be broken apart by hand. It knackered my back.

That definitely sounds like a job for a man. In particular, a man who's parents have given his daughter a tree.

If I were you I wouldn't get involved in the tree planting.

minipie · 15/08/2025 18:16

And yeah I’d be blooming annoyed too OP

Why couldn’t PILs plant it in their own garden???

Octavia64 · 15/08/2025 18:17

I have a newish build.

my trees are all in pots because I have virtually no topsoil and then stones.

you can get quite big pots.

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:17

JDM625 · 15/08/2025 18:14

I quite literally dug on my hands and knees with a chisel and mallet as the garden is a thin layer of soil over layers of rock

Sounds like a new build which are notorious for a few cm's of 'soil' then utter crap with rubble underneath 😬

It's actually a 1991 build but extended and yeah, I think the builders just chucked lumps of concrete/ china clay etc into the back. Plus it is just naturally flinty soil and hardpacked now as we've had no proper rain.

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 15/08/2025 18:18

Would there be any local park, National Trust place who would be happy to plant it and DD be able to visit it?

Indianajet · 15/08/2025 18:18

Just buy a bigger pot - you are being very dramatic about a tree.

MrsCarson · 15/08/2025 18:19

Get a half barrel stick some wheels in the bottom in case it needs moving at some point and put in at the end of the patio.

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:21

minipie · 15/08/2025 18:16

Fruit trees do well in pots and may even produce more fruit as a result of restricting the roots. You will need to keep it well watered though which may be a pain. I wouldn’t repot till we are out of this dry and hot spell. When you do repot, try to put a water reservoir of some sort into the pot - these can be filled if you go away and release water slowly, at least in theory.

Oh really! Well that's great to know. Thanks.

Fil just presented it to DD and then said by the bye to me, "you'll need to get it planted in the garden soon".

I have to say my heart sank as we moved house recently and I have spent lit every bit of leave for 18mos refurbing the old house, physically moving house, or unpacking boxes and fixing stuff in this house. I just wanted a summer with no jobs. Am lazy!

OP posts:
CrispieCake · 15/08/2025 18:22

Almostwelsh · 15/08/2025 18:16

That definitely sounds like a job for a man. In particular, a man who's parents have given his daughter a tree.

If I were you I wouldn't get involved in the tree planting.

Show quote history

This. Say to PIL "Thank you for the gift. DH will send some pictures when he's decided on the best location for the tree and sorted it out."

minipie · 15/08/2025 18:22

No guarantees of it doing well <covers arse> but it is definitely one of the better types!

Mossstitch · 15/08/2025 18:22

Definitely a pot otherwise what happens if you move if DD attached to it🤷‍♀️
Besides she can take it to her house when she grows up then😂

rainbowunicorn · 15/08/2025 18:22

ThejoyofNC · 15/08/2025 18:00

I think you're being a misery guts. That was a really lovely gift and something for your daughter to cherish. Just plant the tree.

Agree with this. It was a lovely thing to do and your daughter is excited. Why do you want to suck the joy out of something kind? Just buy a very large pot and plant it in that.

Em308 · 15/08/2025 18:23

Would you post a couple of pictures of the leaves, and tree itself so people can help identify it. If it’s a potentially big tree and therefore unsuitable for your garden, there’s your reason to not plant it and maybe re home to a local wood?

Peaceisenough · 15/08/2025 18:23

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:16

Honestly am I being horrible? Have never of you ever felt like you're on your knees and need a break, and don't want a tough job to do?

I guess... I'd never get someone a permanent fixture for their garden without having a word first and checking they could manage!

Yes, absolutely. Catch a break ❤️

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/08/2025 18:24

I like your thinking @Mossstitch

Also the idea of a barrow on wheels

I'm hardly being dramatic @Indianajet I'm a tired overworked parent having a lighthearted moan. We've all done it, keeps us sane.

OP posts:
LizzieSiddal · 15/08/2025 18:24

You do NOT need to plant it this weekend, just make sure it’s got some water and it will be fine in that pot for a while yet.