This weird thing today with a group of boys

[LostInClothes]

Interested in some feedback or thoughts about this as I am not a mum to boys and don't currently know any early teens to compare to.

I was rushing home through a busy town and on turning a corner noticed a small group of teens aggravating pigeons. They were taller than me so i very quickly presumed they were a bit older, so walked up to one to say hey, stop that.
On turning to me he was quite young, about 13, so I just said you don't want to upset those birds you never know what they're up to (a sort of joke as felt uncomfortable telling off a random kid).

He just looked confused, not unpleasant, and as I began to walk off his friends moved over and crowded around me. Same age, just a bit taller. One started to mouth off at me telling me to stop making trouble for his mate, to which I replied we were fine, there was no issue, but he wouldn't shut up.

What struck me was his attitude, it was as if he was facing up to a man. I was almost a foot smaller than this guy and more than old enough to be his mother. He was giving a sort of gang vibe, but without the proper aggression. I didn't feel threatened exactly, he was obviously showing off, but I did think it was bloody weird.

I saw something similar a few months ago on a long train journey. A group of early teen boys piled over towards a set of seats where one single woman was sat. She had been dozing as they sat around her. Whilst they didn't interact with her or harass her in any obvious way, they just completely overtook her personal space and crushed her in. This was an otherwise empty carriage, so no idea why they did that.

Is it just a sort of blindness to other people's discomfort, a just-their-age sort of thing? Or is this different? It struck me as a pretty odd way to act around grown women who are alone, and don't recall noticing anything similar in the past.

Dd had a party and the some of the 16 year old lads she invited stayed behind with me and cleared up the whole thing without being asked. Just to counter the teen boy hate. Their mothers should be proud.

True, they wouldn't have noticed I was alive had I not approached one.
However, I didn't tell him off, I told him the pigeons were not to be trusted and you can't tell what they're gonna do, sort of a joke? They were rining a tthem but not harming them.
He was ok, so I was surprised when his friend marched over like a maniac. The third boy was not threatening either, just kind of there.

I have often felt a bit uncomfortable on trains, and do wish there was more attendance from staff on some. Larger companies feel a bit safer. I very, very rarely use buses these days but the worst I have witnessed was on a rural journey in Shropshire. You never can tell, lol.

A good deal of vulnerable/drugged people seem to hang around town centres and stations over the past few years. I've noticed it up and down the country, both men and women. It seems to be a growing issue. Since I haven't walked in their shoes, I can't comment on why they congregate in these places - they aren't begging, but they don't get moved on either.

Sad to think it could be seen as teen boy hate - maybe some may feel that way but not me. This is why I am surprised as I've never had this issue before. Most are totally ok. I do feel that attitudes have changed a bit, though, and what people say about dangers to women is depressing.

OP: I had an uncomfortable interraction with a teen boy who came over to me to try and intimidate me

Some PPs: WHY DO YOU HATE TEEN BOYS

Ha, but just to add, these three boys were well dressed and articulate, and I strongly doubt they'd have behaved that way at home or in front of their GF's mother!

Sounds like that one in particular was just putting on a show. They definitely wouldn't behave that way towards a man, or even another group of teen boys.

Incels incoming 🤦‍♀️ what is the country not like today, I want to go back 20 years when all this crap wasn’t heard of

I wonder if it’s just women though. I wonder if it’s just a general lack of respect for others, an entitlement and an attitude that rude aggressive behaviour is fine .I don’t think respect for older people, respect for other people’s space or needs seems to feature much generally in society these days .Having said this I have noticed two young men offer to give up their seat to my husband recently when he was struggling with a heavy suitcase and generally looking bewildered! So there are young men with manners still .

Yes, I think it's less about just women and more about a lack of authority or fear of reprisal. The worst I usually see are people very aggressively drunk in urban areas or hanging around quiet places. Just a sense of them not caring what anyone thinks. I'd say it's more of a cultural shift than specifically about women.

I’d be really frightened if this ever happened to me, I really hope it doesn’t. I haven’t read page 2 yet but I’m surprised no one mentioned Andrew Tate on page one, sounds like something he would teach, not that I know much about him.

I'm afraid many girls that age and younger also give off those kind vibes. It's a don't mess with us, we're untouchable attitude. It's like 9-14 year olds feel like they hold all the power even in the presence of adults.

@Ooodelally I had an experience like this about a year ago. It was pissing down with rain and I had my hood up, baby in his pram with the rain cover on. Two girls and a boy were approaching me but we all had room to pass each other on the path. They were probably 15ish. One girl leant towards the pram and screamed into it exactly like you described. It was over in a split second and luckily my boy didn't wake up but she walked off laughing. To their credit her friends grabbed her and said 'what are you playing at'. It happened so fast but I think my instinct took over as I raised my arm to protect the pram and then as she walked away walked towards her and called her a 'fucking cunt' much to my horror as that is not generally in my vocabulary. They just kept walking.

I walked away thinking I'd imagined it, it was so random and weird.

I think she was expecting a different reaction from her friends as well.

Yes, well fuck that.

Children and teenagers damned well should have some respect for adults and others in authority and no, adults do not need to earn an adolescent's respect. It should be automatic. Who the hell do these kids think they are?

@Dabberlocks you are assuming adults deserve respect and obedience because you are moral. Some adults abuse dc who are compliant. Some adults are just abusive full stop- or dealers, junkies, etc.

Kids also need to know how to stand up for themselves.

That said, there are a lot of 11-14yr olds in my area who are appalling. Abusive, threatening, dangerous little toe rags, often armed and too big for their britches. They tend to have abusive parents, too.

God that’s horrific. So, so upsetting. What is the world coming to? A teenager girl thinks it’s okay to scream into a baby’s pram?

My DDs and I call this ‘space dominating’ it’s not always boys. Teen girls do it to sometimes.

They've kind of a nothing to lose, slightly depraved, cocky, unrelaxed and unhappy manner. Western societies have changed beyond recognition in the last 20 years. Not for the better. It's become quite tough, socially. There is more groupism /tribalism due to social media, which means you're either in or cancelled, scary to navigate but kids learn this from a young age. Problem is the more socially deprived, the earlier they have phones, the less control on what garbage little children access in their formative years. So they influence their peers. It's a social trend.

I’ve had this a few times when I was a teacher. It’s horrible.

Well I've no idea what's happening at large, but in many larger urban towns I see through work, I notice more mindless activity from boys than previously, such as having to wreck something they pass by, or pull branches off trees, there's a sense of pointlessness to it really, which reminds me of dogs mindlessly sniffing and pissing on things.

It may always have been like that and I've never noticed before.

I think what I was going to say is that I notice more gangs, groups in general just wandering about than in previous years. Places that they never used to go are now full. Maybe people really hate being at home?

A fair few teens are on steroids now (absolute murder when combined with ADHD drugs). I'd steer well clear if you can. And be glad you're not one - I can't imagine what he'll school must be now.

Dogs sniffing and taking a leak is rather very different, they're animals its natural behaviour not anti social or menacing. 😂

I'd say you started picking on them first.

'Aggrevating pigeons?🙄who on the world cares if theyre running after pigeons?....of all the things to start a battle over. You drew them on you.

Also, teenagers are allowed sit anywhere on a train. It doesn't appear that they were intentionally being disrespectful to that woman. You just appear to see a threat where there is none, or get irritated for no reason.

Yep. That's about it. Plenty more of that to follow. The Country has gone to hell.

I was walking through a park after being recently bereaved. This is relevant because the point is I wasn’t in a good state of mind but had agreed to go out a walk with a friend and get some fresh air .

I was talking to my friend about something and walked past a few teens (one girl two boys) on a bench and they started repeating bits of what we had said very loudly. I guess gently mocking us.

It was quite funny I suppose from their POV at least, and not the worst thing they could’ve done, but at the same time it was bordering on being disrespectful and invasive.

I do accept I was probably feeling a bit more sensitive that day but it was a bit sad that instead of just entertaining each other and talking among themselves, they amused themselves with listening to the conversation of random adults walking by and parroting it back. I just wanted to be left alone that day!

If their behaviour stops there fine but it could escalate as they get older.