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Original poster

Upset by DH’s ‘misjudgment’ aka lack of common sense

378 replies

Tothink · 06/08/2025 20:48

We went to a waterpark today for the first time with our two sons (aged 2&4).

DS1 (eldest) is much more water confident than DS2 and doesn’t mind going down the slides, getting hair/eyes wet etc. DS2 a lot more apprehensive and even looks too small for the slides.

At one point DS1 wanted to go down the biggest slide (it was a fully closed tunnel slide which went from the top of the waterpark down to the bottom. It had various bends and turns. DS1 went down it fine. DH took him up there (quite a way up), he carried DS2 with him but I assumed he would walk back down the steps to the bottom once DS1 had entered the slide. But no… I saw him lower DS2 into the slide and I went slightly ballistic from the bottom, trying to shout up and signal to him ‘NO!’. He obviously did it any way. He put DS2 in the tunnel and off he went.

I waited right at the bottom for DS2 to appear. I waited. I waited. I started to fucking panic like there is no tomorrow and then I hear him screaming ‘mama, mama’. And truly in that moment my whole body went to absolute jelly. He is a very small 2 year old and was clearly terrified, stuck alone in this fully closed long ass tunnel.

To clarify, there’s no water going through the tunnel obviously, I mean it’s wet in there due to wet swimwear going through it but no stream of water. However, it’s the mere fact that I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him screaming for me.

Then he stopped screaming for me and I panicked even more. Lifeguards all came over but didn’t actually know what to suggest because DS2 had obviously gotten stuck somewhere in the tunnel and seeing as he is only 2, he didn’t really know to keep sliding himself down. Nobody could slide down it and get him because apparently it was too risky (if they went down too fast they could bang into him).

He eventually came out, shaking like an absolute leaf. It honestly felt like ages. The screaming made it worse but then the silent parts were even worse than that.

Furious at DH and feeling so shaken by it.

OP posts:
Iftheressomethingstrange · 07/08/2025 06:45

Your husband is not an idiot. He read the sign presumably and realized your son met the requirements. So your son got stuck and then he got out. He was a bit shaken by it.

So as a parent you can say "well done for getting through that, great job!" So he learns that actually sometimes things are scary but you can work them out on your own. Or you can hug and cry and convey how traumatising it was (for you mainly it seems) so the boy confirms in his head that simple slides are now incredibly scary and always to be avoided or feared.

clotheslinefiasco · 07/08/2025 06:45

evelynevelyn · 06/08/2025 20:57

It does sound like a misjudgment, but also you sound rather dramatic and catastrophising. Luckily your children have the both of you, and will learn from what each of you bring.

Bollocks to that!!

The man is an absolute fucking idiot - it's not a 'misjudgement' and the OP is not being dramatic

FFS

SirChenjins · 07/08/2025 06:45

She took a shaking, terrified child away from the thing that made him scared - a perfectly sensible approach. I imagine the next time they go to the pool she will take it at her DC's pace and rebuild his confidence. Any sensible parent knows you move at the pace of a child, not an adult.

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clotheslinefiasco · 07/08/2025 06:47

So as a parent you can say "well done for getting through that, great job!"

Yeah - I'm sure the poor little 2 year old will understand that Confused

Pricelessadvice · 07/08/2025 06:48

I’m more confused that it had no water. Don’t they normally have a trickle of water going down do people don’t get stuck?

kezzykate · 07/08/2025 06:49

Honestly I would have done what your dh did if my child was begging to do it, the other child had just been and he met the height restriction. Obviously I would have regretted it afterwards if he had got stuck but I do think you should forgive your husband and forget about it. He has recognised it was a misjudgement and apologised and your child is thankfully fine.

Iftheressomethingstrange · 07/08/2025 06:50

clotheslinefiasco · 07/08/2025 06:47

So as a parent you can say "well done for getting through that, great job!"

Yeah - I'm sure the poor little 2 year old will understand that Confused

Of course a 2 year old would. We aren't talking a 6 month old here. The child can walk, talk, dance and do a high 5 when they've done something that made them feel a bit wobbly. It's ok!

BrunetteBarbie94 · 07/08/2025 06:53

PrincessofHyrule · 07/08/2025 06:20

I am surprised that such a young child met the height restrictions - but there often is a problem with small kids on long shallow enclosed slides. They don't have the weight to hit required velocity and often stop.

I think signs should warn you of this and encourage adults to take toddlers on their lap. It does sound like dumb decision for DH - but I also think you should have minimised and stayed in pool.

Exactly this!! I actually had the experience of being stuck in one of these when i was about 7, i was an extremely skinny kid, and It was really scary to be stuck in the dark like that. I hate enclosed slides because of that even now!

2 is insanely young to be in a enclosed slide and your DH definitely made a big error of judgment! It would have been terrifying for a 2 year old.

Shocked by these cold af responses you are receiving OP, thank God i didnt have parents like these women! It isnt about the fact he was unlikely to drown, if you don't care about the fact your kid is terrified there is something wrong with you.

crumblingschools · 07/08/2025 06:55

I don’t quite get the slide. Was there a lifeguard at the top and means of knowing when someone had come out at the bottom to stop more than one person going down at a time.

Was there water at the bottom?

I’m slightly confused that there was no water running down it as others have said wet costumes would have stuck to the sides.

HeadNorth · 07/08/2025 06:56

I'm another that thinks OP was OTT and will have scared the bejeezus more out of the child by her melodramatic reaction. If a 2 year old child met the height restriction for the slide, it couldn't have been that long and scary a slide. The child was safe at all times (even drama llama OP admitted that). When the child was stuck it would have been far better to stay calm and encourage than panic and lose her shit.

When the child came out, a swooped up kiss and a cuddle and off to play in the shallow bit would have been far more reassuring and meant the child could move on and continue to enjoy themselves. All this 'trauma' talk is self-fulfilling. The OP has made it more traumatic and scary for the poor wee toot, instead of providing a sense of safety and encouraging resilience and growth. Modern parenting often does little ones no favours.

Namechangerage · 07/08/2025 06:56

What a cunt. I hardly ever use that word but I don’t know if I could forgive that cruelty.

Lavenderflower · 07/08/2025 06:58

I think you husband made a serious error of judgment - This would make me lose trust.

Namechangerage · 07/08/2025 06:58

HeadNorth · 07/08/2025 06:56

I'm another that thinks OP was OTT and will have scared the bejeezus more out of the child by her melodramatic reaction. If a 2 year old child met the height restriction for the slide, it couldn't have been that long and scary a slide. The child was safe at all times (even drama llama OP admitted that). When the child was stuck it would have been far better to stay calm and encourage than panic and lose her shit.

When the child came out, a swooped up kiss and a cuddle and off to play in the shallow bit would have been far more reassuring and meant the child could move on and continue to enjoy themselves. All this 'trauma' talk is self-fulfilling. The OP has made it more traumatic and scary for the poor wee toot, instead of providing a sense of safety and encouraging resilience and growth. Modern parenting often does little ones no favours.

The child is 2. I’d agree with you if they were 4 or 5. You don’t send a 2 year old down a slide like that. Especially when he clearly knows the mum didn’t want him to.

TheCurious0range · 07/08/2025 06:59

It wasn't a water slide, you've said there was no water in it, it was just damp from swimwear, so what was the actual danger? The 4 year old drowned, that can't happen in a dry tube. It was also enclosed do he couldn't fall or climb out. Your child was frightened so no don't go on it again but he wasn't at actual risk. I do think a different approach at the bottom would've been better, lots of hugs oh you didn't like it, never mind, don't go on that one again, what else would you like to do? At 2 you can easily reframe an experience that has upset them.

RampantIvy · 07/08/2025 07:00

evelynevelyn · 06/08/2025 20:57

It does sound like a misjudgment, but also you sound rather dramatic and catastrophising. Luckily your children have the both of you, and will learn from what each of you bring.

Oh look. The husband has posted Hmm

The child is two years old and was terrified. If course the OP was not being dramatic. I would have been livid too.

TheCurious0range · 07/08/2025 07:00

HeadNorth · 07/08/2025 06:56

I'm another that thinks OP was OTT and will have scared the bejeezus more out of the child by her melodramatic reaction. If a 2 year old child met the height restriction for the slide, it couldn't have been that long and scary a slide. The child was safe at all times (even drama llama OP admitted that). When the child was stuck it would have been far better to stay calm and encourage than panic and lose her shit.

When the child came out, a swooped up kiss and a cuddle and off to play in the shallow bit would have been far more reassuring and meant the child could move on and continue to enjoy themselves. All this 'trauma' talk is self-fulfilling. The OP has made it more traumatic and scary for the poor wee toot, instead of providing a sense of safety and encouraging resilience and growth. Modern parenting often does little ones no favours.

I agree with this

Zezet · 07/08/2025 07:00

I would trust neither of you with my child!

He was obviously an idiot for putting the poor thing in.

Your poor child probably wasn't in much real danger and you doubtlessly made it so much worse for him by overdramatizing in the moment, screaming, giving him the vibe he had been in mortal danger, and taking him out as opposed to comforting him there and helping him frame it as you were so brave and strong.

I also agree your description and the height restrictions don't quite made sense.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 07/08/2025 07:00

evelynevelyn · 06/08/2025 20:57

It does sound like a misjudgment, but also you sound rather dramatic and catastrophising. Luckily your children have the both of you, and will learn from what each of you bring.

Are you fucking joking? You dont put a 2 year old in a massive waterside on their own. Dramatic my arse. You obviously have no common sense either then

Zezet · 07/08/2025 07:02

Namechangerage · 07/08/2025 06:58

The child is 2. I’d agree with you if they were 4 or 5. You don’t send a 2 year old down a slide like that. Especially when he clearly knows the mum didn’t want him to.

Show quote history

Sure but once he is in there you might as well not make it worse. And adults can be expected to have some common sense and also to manage their feelings a bit. OP made a different but equally stupid judgment call. And yes, I know she didn't start the idiocy of this event.

RampantIvy · 07/08/2025 07:04

sellotapechicken · 07/08/2025 02:26

You are very dramatic

You are completely lacking in empathy. Do you have children? Do you know what it is like to hear your terrified child screaming with fear with you unable to do anything about it?

What a horrible post!

TheCurious0range · 07/08/2025 07:04

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 07/08/2025 07:00

Are you fucking joking? You dont put a 2 year old in a massive waterside on their own. Dramatic my arse. You obviously have no common sense either then

Show quote history

It wasn't a water slide it was dry and the child reached the height restriction. So it wasn't a death drop. Comparing that to a child who drowned is dramatic

RampantIvy · 07/08/2025 07:07

Another heartless poster lacking in empathy. Do you take pleasure in hearing the screams of a terrified two year old?

soupyspoon · 07/08/2025 07:08

SirChenjins · 07/08/2025 06:36

Not always - and evidently not in this case.

Show quote history

The child wasnt unsafe though in this situation.

Hercisback1 · 07/08/2025 07:08

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 07/08/2025 07:00

Are you fucking joking? You dont put a 2 year old in a massive waterside on their own. Dramatic my arse. You obviously have no common sense either then

Show quote history

The water slide can't have been massive if a small 2yo met the height restriction.

It sounds terrifying for you OP but I think you flamed the fire by taking DS out of the pool.

Zezet · 07/08/2025 07:09

RampantIvy · 07/08/2025 07:07

Another heartless poster lacking in empathy. Do you take pleasure in hearing the screams of a terrified two year old?

No but I assess whether my kid is

  • petrified but ridiculous (flies come to mind for my DC3 when she was 2)
  • petrified and in a bad spot but not in real danger (in a dark scary tunnel)
  • petrified and in actual danger

... and act accordingly. And believe me, she would scream the same way for all three because she is a small child and can't tell the difference between a fly and a rattle snake when it comes to danger.

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