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Original poster

Upset by DH’s ‘misjudgment’ aka lack of common sense

378 replies

Tothink · 06/08/2025 20:48

We went to a waterpark today for the first time with our two sons (aged 2&4).

DS1 (eldest) is much more water confident than DS2 and doesn’t mind going down the slides, getting hair/eyes wet etc. DS2 a lot more apprehensive and even looks too small for the slides.

At one point DS1 wanted to go down the biggest slide (it was a fully closed tunnel slide which went from the top of the waterpark down to the bottom. It had various bends and turns. DS1 went down it fine. DH took him up there (quite a way up), he carried DS2 with him but I assumed he would walk back down the steps to the bottom once DS1 had entered the slide. But no… I saw him lower DS2 into the slide and I went slightly ballistic from the bottom, trying to shout up and signal to him ‘NO!’. He obviously did it any way. He put DS2 in the tunnel and off he went.

I waited right at the bottom for DS2 to appear. I waited. I waited. I started to fucking panic like there is no tomorrow and then I hear him screaming ‘mama, mama’. And truly in that moment my whole body went to absolute jelly. He is a very small 2 year old and was clearly terrified, stuck alone in this fully closed long ass tunnel.

To clarify, there’s no water going through the tunnel obviously, I mean it’s wet in there due to wet swimwear going through it but no stream of water. However, it’s the mere fact that I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him screaming for me.

Then he stopped screaming for me and I panicked even more. Lifeguards all came over but didn’t actually know what to suggest because DS2 had obviously gotten stuck somewhere in the tunnel and seeing as he is only 2, he didn’t really know to keep sliding himself down. Nobody could slide down it and get him because apparently it was too risky (if they went down too fast they could bang into him).

He eventually came out, shaking like an absolute leaf. It honestly felt like ages. The screaming made it worse but then the silent parts were even worse than that.

Furious at DH and feeling so shaken by it.

OP posts:
StuntAcorn · 06/08/2025 22:51

Jeezus.
I would be fuming.
What did your DH say afterwards?
I hope the lifeguards told him he was a complete and utter twat to go against their rules of letting a 2yr old go down alone.

Glad to hear your LO seems OK now but I bet you're still shaking.
Hope you can manage a restful night too OP.

Noshadelamp · 06/08/2025 22:55

DH now thinks I’ve scarred him even more by rushing out of the pool and thinks we should have taken him back into the water (not down any slides obviously) to show him it’s not scary. But… how could I have taken the poor thing back into the water when he was visibly traumatised and shaking. It was bloody awful and I’m past the anger stage, just upset at DH’s lack of sympathy and common sense @Tothink

You absolutely did the right thing, taking him away from the source of trauma and calming his nervous system.
Putting him back in the water when he's traumatised is backwards and unintuitive. What a surprise.

Your DH needs to acknowledge he doesn't have a clue and therefore needs to trust you when you say not to do something. He can't be trusted.

Noshadelamp · 06/08/2025 22:56

Also I wonder if the reason there's a height guide instead of an age guide because they assume parents will know not to send a two year old down a fully enclosed slide on his own!

Interested in this thread?

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Families
PullTheBricksDown · 06/08/2025 23:01

Why the hell didn't he put DS2 on his lap and go down the slide with him? That's always an option with under 5s. And is the obvious and natural thing for a parent to do.

sellotapechicken · 07/08/2025 02:26

You are very dramatic

coxesorangepippin · 07/08/2025 02:29

I cannot believe he let a 2 year old go down a slide like that on his own!

I thought you were gonna say DH went with him!

Totally not on

NeedZzzzzssss · 07/08/2025 02:31

evelynevelyn · 06/08/2025 20:57

It does sound like a misjudgment, but also you sound rather dramatic and catastrophising. Luckily your children have the both of you, and will learn from what each of you bring.

This. I am you and my DH is your DH. I'm glad there's a balance!

NeedZzzzzssss · 07/08/2025 02:33

Noshadelamp · 06/08/2025 22:55

DH now thinks I’ve scarred him even more by rushing out of the pool and thinks we should have taken him back into the water (not down any slides obviously) to show him it’s not scary. But… how could I have taken the poor thing back into the water when he was visibly traumatised and shaking. It was bloody awful and I’m past the anger stage, just upset at DH’s lack of sympathy and common sense @Tothink

You absolutely did the right thing, taking him away from the source of trauma and calming his nervous system.
Putting him back in the water when he's traumatised is backwards and unintuitive. What a surprise.

Your DH needs to acknowledge he doesn't have a clue and therefore needs to trust you when you say not to do something. He can't be trusted.

I actually think taking him back in the water would have been the better thing to do. Not down another tube slide obviously. Kids are very resilient, if you let them be

NeedZzzzzssss · 07/08/2025 02:35

Tothink · 06/08/2025 21:21

There was definitely a height restriction because he was slightly above the bar which determines whether or not you are allowed. BUT regardless of height, he is only 2 and it’s a long way down (and fully enclosed). It really should have an age restriction rather than height, because if a child was to get stuck half way (like mine) ideally they’d be able to work it out (calmly) how to just keep sliding themselves down until they reach the bottom.

I’ve barely spoken to DH since and immediately took DS out and waited in Reception for the rest of the session. DH now thinks I’ve scarred him even more by rushing out of the pool and thinks we should have taken him back into the water (not down any slides obviously) to show him it’s not scary. But… how could I have taken the poor thing back into the water when he was visibly traumatised and shaking. It was bloody awful and I’m past the anger stage, just upset at DH’s lack of sympathy and common sense. Like I say, regardless of the height restrictions it was obvious that our son would NOT have found that slide any fun. Each child is different and of course some children are more advanced with these sorts of things, but it was our first time at a water park and he was clearly apprehensive. Common. Sense.

DS is ok now, ate all his dinner bless him, had a quick shower and is tucked up next to me in bed.

I don't think there should be an age restriction, people need to use their own judgement which clearly DH didn't do. Sorry if I missed it, do you know what actually happened? Did your son get stuck or grab onto something?

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 07/08/2025 03:51

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autienotnaughty · 07/08/2025 04:12

I would be apoplectic with rage if my dh did something like this.

babyproblems · 07/08/2025 04:18

Your husband has the better approach imo in that he wants to show him it’s not scary - BUT what he did was insane. He could’ve caused serious injury. The way to do it would’ve been to do the slide with ds on his lap. I think the reaction from you towards your husband was completely justified however I do think it’s probably magnified it all in your sons mind…
i wondered if your DH has does these sorts of things often or if there’s a lack of trust in his judgement from your side.. which would be understandable!!!

ThriveAT · 07/08/2025 04:35

The ride was wildly inappropriate for a 2 year old. I would have been fuming.

SilverpetalShine · 07/08/2025 04:54

Tothink · 06/08/2025 20:48

We went to a waterpark today for the first time with our two sons (aged 2&4).

DS1 (eldest) is much more water confident than DS2 and doesn’t mind going down the slides, getting hair/eyes wet etc. DS2 a lot more apprehensive and even looks too small for the slides.

At one point DS1 wanted to go down the biggest slide (it was a fully closed tunnel slide which went from the top of the waterpark down to the bottom. It had various bends and turns. DS1 went down it fine. DH took him up there (quite a way up), he carried DS2 with him but I assumed he would walk back down the steps to the bottom once DS1 had entered the slide. But no… I saw him lower DS2 into the slide and I went slightly ballistic from the bottom, trying to shout up and signal to him ‘NO!’. He obviously did it any way. He put DS2 in the tunnel and off he went.

I waited right at the bottom for DS2 to appear. I waited. I waited. I started to fucking panic like there is no tomorrow and then I hear him screaming ‘mama, mama’. And truly in that moment my whole body went to absolute jelly. He is a very small 2 year old and was clearly terrified, stuck alone in this fully closed long ass tunnel.

To clarify, there’s no water going through the tunnel obviously, I mean it’s wet in there due to wet swimwear going through it but no stream of water. However, it’s the mere fact that I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him screaming for me.

Then he stopped screaming for me and I panicked even more. Lifeguards all came over but didn’t actually know what to suggest because DS2 had obviously gotten stuck somewhere in the tunnel and seeing as he is only 2, he didn’t really know to keep sliding himself down. Nobody could slide down it and get him because apparently it was too risky (if they went down too fast they could bang into him).

He eventually came out, shaking like an absolute leaf. It honestly felt like ages. The screaming made it worse but then the silent parts were even worse than that.

Furious at DH and feeling so shaken by it.

Oh my I so feel for you, is your little one ok now? I don't know how you didn't punch you DH on the nose, stay eight feet from him for a while. Exactly how did he justify that one? I mean how did he think that was a good idea? Omg? Thinking of you OP.

Amiunemployable · 07/08/2025 05:14

Hmm. I'm not sure about this. Really, how bad could it have been if the height restriction allowed a 'very small' two year old?

You said yourself, OP, that's he's very small. He's also only two! So the height restriction must also have been very small. In this case, I just can't see the slide being as bad as you make it out to be.

There was also no water in the slide, so no risk of drowning. DH was at the top. You were waiting at the bottom. Doesn't seem like he was in any real danger.

Also agree with your DH that you've probably made his fear worse by removing him completely rather than going back into the water with DH and other DC. You know, smile, tell him he's safe, nothing to worry about, and then distracting with water fun with sibling.

Shoxfordian · 07/08/2025 05:18

He wasn't in any danger, he was fine. Yabu and overly dramatic.

BlueSeagull · 07/08/2025 05:35

Realistically though he wasn’t in danger, no water in the slide and you were at the bottom. He was scared, but your reaction has just validated his fear to him.
also would be interested to know where this slide was.

Flowercakes · 07/08/2025 05:37

evelynevelyn · 06/08/2025 20:57

It does sound like a misjudgment, but also you sound rather dramatic and catastrophising. Luckily your children have the both of you, and will learn from what each of you bring.

She doesn’t.

SilverpetalShine · 07/08/2025 05:39

Amiunemployable · 07/08/2025 05:14

Hmm. I'm not sure about this. Really, how bad could it have been if the height restriction allowed a 'very small' two year old?

You said yourself, OP, that's he's very small. He's also only two! So the height restriction must also have been very small. In this case, I just can't see the slide being as bad as you make it out to be.

There was also no water in the slide, so no risk of drowning. DH was at the top. You were waiting at the bottom. Doesn't seem like he was in any real danger.

Also agree with your DH that you've probably made his fear worse by removing him completely rather than going back into the water with DH and other DC. You know, smile, tell him he's safe, nothing to worry about, and then distracting with water fun with sibling.

Oh...Lord...

Flowercakes · 07/08/2025 05:40

evelynevelyn · 06/08/2025 22:13

I can only respond to the way OP herself describes the situation and her own reaction.

She’s made very clear she was panicking, slightly ballistic, shaking like a leaf, the awful silences, legs turned to jelly. She knew where the child was at all times: sitting in a dark tunnel. It sounds like a horrible experience for the child.

I think one of the helpful things about having a forum is reading others’ perspectives. Not meant to be either patronising or rude. Neither of us should speak for OP but whenever I’ve made a thread on MN I’ve expected people will express a range of views. Otherwise what’s the point.

Edited
Show quote history

Yes, best to express it without being condescending and belittling though.

SilverpetalShine · 07/08/2025 05:43

A child is allowed comfort when afraid, school of hard knocks is brutality dressed upin a wooly jumper...

SilverpetalShine · 07/08/2025 05:47

OPs explanation was clear and honest why don't you save your disdain for DH who chucked his child down an oversized slide or, encourage him to go down with?

SilverpetalShine · 07/08/2025 05:49

Definitely doesn't...

OnceIn · 07/08/2025 05:55

This is a fear of mine, getting stuck in one of those slides, let alone it happening to my child!

Id have gone ballistic, your poor dc, he must have been terrified. There’s a phobia of small spaces in the making!

SoManyDandelions · 07/08/2025 05:59

I don't understand- the slide had no water in it? Surely everyone would get stuck sliding down a dry plastic slide in damp swim wear! Did the slide end in the water?

Maybe DH thought the side would be OK for DS because he wouldn't get splashed/water in his eyes etc like on the other slides?

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