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Original poster

Upset by DH’s ‘misjudgment’ aka lack of common sense

378 replies

Tothink · 06/08/2025 20:48

We went to a waterpark today for the first time with our two sons (aged 2&4).

DS1 (eldest) is much more water confident than DS2 and doesn’t mind going down the slides, getting hair/eyes wet etc. DS2 a lot more apprehensive and even looks too small for the slides.

At one point DS1 wanted to go down the biggest slide (it was a fully closed tunnel slide which went from the top of the waterpark down to the bottom. It had various bends and turns. DS1 went down it fine. DH took him up there (quite a way up), he carried DS2 with him but I assumed he would walk back down the steps to the bottom once DS1 had entered the slide. But no… I saw him lower DS2 into the slide and I went slightly ballistic from the bottom, trying to shout up and signal to him ‘NO!’. He obviously did it any way. He put DS2 in the tunnel and off he went.

I waited right at the bottom for DS2 to appear. I waited. I waited. I started to fucking panic like there is no tomorrow and then I hear him screaming ‘mama, mama’. And truly in that moment my whole body went to absolute jelly. He is a very small 2 year old and was clearly terrified, stuck alone in this fully closed long ass tunnel.

To clarify, there’s no water going through the tunnel obviously, I mean it’s wet in there due to wet swimwear going through it but no stream of water. However, it’s the mere fact that I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him screaming for me.

Then he stopped screaming for me and I panicked even more. Lifeguards all came over but didn’t actually know what to suggest because DS2 had obviously gotten stuck somewhere in the tunnel and seeing as he is only 2, he didn’t really know to keep sliding himself down. Nobody could slide down it and get him because apparently it was too risky (if they went down too fast they could bang into him).

He eventually came out, shaking like an absolute leaf. It honestly felt like ages. The screaming made it worse but then the silent parts were even worse than that.

Furious at DH and feeling so shaken by it.

OP posts:
metellaestinatrio · 07/08/2025 07:42

I also don’t understand why DS2 even went up to the top of the slide with DH in the first place. If you thought the slide was too big for him, surely the sensible thing to do would be for DH to take DS1 up to the slide (and go on it too) and DS2 to wait with you at the bottom?

soupyspoon · 07/08/2025 07:44

It would only be a stupid decision if there were reasons not to make the decision in the first place. If the child was keen and its not unsafe, then its not a stupid decision. It was a decision that didnt go to plan and didnt work out, but that doesnt mean it was stupid. Poster are very keen to name call and denigrate the dad here, clearly becuase he is the dad, what does he know.

XelaM · 07/08/2025 07:45

That's such a scary incident. People on this thread are just being obtuse saying it wouldn't terrify them if their 2-year-old got stuck inside a big tunnel slide at a waterpark! That's so so so dangerous!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Kidsgotothatschool · 07/08/2025 07:47

Completely agree about this sounding like a very odd water slide… I suspect some exaggeration here…

I also think if dad saw an appropriate height restriction, talked to the life guard and child wanted to go down the slide that was clearly deemed appropriate for his age this is a huge over reaction.

I am now actually feeling sorry for her husband. It feels very blown out of all proportion.

soupyspoon · 07/08/2025 07:48

Roberta2020 · 07/08/2025 07:42

If it is a one-time thing, like your husband is usually quite good at assessing danger and just today he had a lapse of judgement, then, well, you know... even the best of them sometimes have a moments of profound teenagehood, and that is all thanks to their biology. Do sit him down and give him a statistics chart of accidents that happen to small children on waterslides.
My husband did a couple of things like those too when he was a more inexperienced parent. I sat him down and gave him an extensive descrpition of what was going to happen to his genitals if he was ever going to be responsible for my kids having major accidents due to his negligence.

Wow. And has he given you an extensive description of what would happen to your genitals if you make a mistake that causes your child to have an accident or get hurt?

pinkbackground · 07/08/2025 07:50

I’d be fuming!!

Sweetpotatoaddict · 07/08/2025 07:50

Riding a slide with a child on your knee is dangerous, it can cause broken legs. If the child foot sticks on the side and the caregiver is continuing down the slide with momentum.
i would love to know where the water park is as it sounds bizarre that there is no water in the slide?
Both myself and my husband have made errors of judgment with our children. The important thing is how you reassure your child and that you learn from the error too.

GlastoNinja · 07/08/2025 07:50

Tothink · 07/08/2025 07:39

@Lillers thank you! I don’t know why people are obsessed about my reaction as a worried mother. Regardless of any restrictions/policies etc DH is his father and sent him down a huge enclosed tunnel despite him being apprehensive even on the tiny slides. It was an obvious thing not to do and did result in DS getting stuck.

The fact that you can’t see how damaging your response is, even when people are spelling it out for you is odd. Your son was fine, he was on a dry slide - this could have happened at a playground. All you needed to do was shout up the slide, reassuring messages and advice, instead of being really dramatic and not talking to his dad for days.

I get that in the moment you were scared, you’re not now. Open your mind a bit to the possibility that you responded in an emotional frame of mind, you don’t need that emotion now so try and be a bit more rational and balanced. The risk here is that you become very controlling.

Animatic · 07/08/2025 07:52

I would imagine there are heights restrictions for the slides and tunnels. Are there none where you are?

pinkstripeycat · 07/08/2025 07:53

Something similar happened to one of my DS when he was younger. I literally ran up the inside of that slide. No idea how but my super human mum instinct took over.

Also ran up a steep slide in a park once carrying loads of bags as older DS (around 2/3) was stuck at the top and kids behind were pushing.

I was always on guard when they were little and trusted no one to things properly. I even got invited to every school trip as a volunteer as I was always “around” up to year 2 and was involved in beavers and cubs. As soon as they were able to stick up for themselves I stopped helping

Littleswallows · 07/08/2025 07:53

I'm claustrophobic so flumes are my idea of he'll- heck I'm a lot older than 2 and I'd be terrified!

Did you DS2 want to go go down was he told to by DH - this is important.

I would feel as you are feeling - even more angry if DS had been effectively forced down.

You were traumatised and totally panicked- physically and mentally is going to take time to recover.

CheekyCherryColaCandy · 07/08/2025 07:54

So DH does something that the child wants and the lifeguard (who is apparently at the top of a dry slide) agrees to.

Child panics

Mother 'goes ballistic'

If the child is now terrified of water it will largely be because of the mothers hysterical reaction.

And like others in very intrigued about where this water park is....

TheLemonLemur · 07/08/2025 07:55

Why didnt you keep the 2yo with you? Most 2yo walking a long way up to a slide entrance would assume they are going on it. Tbh more risk with the resulting tantrum not going on would cause or indeed your dh carrying him down a load of stairs.
If a lifeguard had no issue and a 2yo met the height restrictions im going to assume it really wasn't that big and scary slide to cause a ballistic reaction

Jorgua · 07/08/2025 07:56

evelynevelyn · 06/08/2025 20:57

It does sound like a misjudgment, but also you sound rather dramatic and catastrophising. Luckily your children have the both of you, and will learn from what each of you bring.

God what a dumb response. The kid is 2 and was calling for his parents and no-one could get to him. That IS something to be furious about, never mind what might have happened. What the DH is bringing in this instance is idiocy.

Jorgua · 07/08/2025 07:57

CheekyCherryColaCandy · 07/08/2025 07:54

So DH does something that the child wants and the lifeguard (who is apparently at the top of a dry slide) agrees to.

Child panics

Mother 'goes ballistic'

If the child is now terrified of water it will largely be because of the mothers hysterical reaction.

And like others in very intrigued about where this water park is....

No, it will not be because of the mothers (sic) rection.

soupyspoon · 07/08/2025 07:57

Littleswallows · 07/08/2025 07:53

I'm claustrophobic so flumes are my idea of he'll- heck I'm a lot older than 2 and I'd be terrified!

Did you DS2 want to go go down was he told to by DH - this is important.

I would feel as you are feeling - even more angry if DS had been effectively forced down.

You were traumatised and totally panicked- physically and mentally is going to take time to recover.

She was not traumatised FFS. Do you even know what this word means?

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 07/08/2025 07:57

If your dh went up the steps to put ds1 on the slide why did he have to carry ds2 up there as well. Where were you?

Simplelobsterhat · 07/08/2025 07:57

metellaestinatrio · 07/08/2025 07:42

I also don’t understand why DS2 even went up to the top of the slide with DH in the first place. If you thought the slide was too big for him, surely the sensible thing to do would be for DH to take DS1 up to the slide (and go on it too) and DS2 to wait with you at the bottom?

This - as soon as I read you expected DH to carry your youngest to the top, watch the eldest down and then carry ds all the way back down again, my main thought was wtf were you doing while he was doing all that carrying, if you really didn't think the youngest was going on the slide?

My main question, is did ds tell him he wanted to do the slide or not? If ds didn't want to do it, but your DH chucked him down to force him out of his comfort zone, your DH is a dick a d I'd be angry.

If your ds said he wanted to go on it, which I think one of your updates implies he did, then I can't actually see what DH did wrong. If he met the height / age requirements and the member of staff at the top was happy to let him down, how was DH to know it wasn't suitable? In that case your argument is with the water park and I would be making a complaint to them about their inadequate risk assessment/ age restriction. As well as the bad design of their slides - I'm sure all tube water slides I've been on have some water running through, are you sure you have your facts right on that?

Ultimately, it sounds very scary for him, but as long as they were stopping anyone else going down, he wasn't actually in any physical danger- no water, no sides to fall off. Try to hold on to that.

SilverHammer · 07/08/2025 07:58

evelynevelyn · 06/08/2025 20:57

It does sound like a misjudgment, but also you sound rather dramatic and catastrophising. Luckily your children have the both of you, and will learn from what each of you bring.

What a stupid idiotic comment. You obviously don’t have kids.

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 07/08/2025 07:59

Tothink · 07/08/2025 07:28

There was a lifeguard (or supervisor?) at the very top, he was chatting to DH. He didn’t stop DH from sending DS down, although probably because he did meet height restrictions. This is where I disagree with their policy though (and will be getting in touch with them). It needed an age restriction, it’s more about their maturity and ability to calmly keep shimmying down (should you come to a halt), than it is height.

DH did apparently ask if DS could go on his lap but that wasn’t allowed, and this was clearly stated on a sign, like all the slides.

I don’t think I’m being over the top at all. I didn’t show DS a crazy amount of panic. I just took him straight out, got him dressed and took him to reception for his lunch. But my fury towards DH isn’t going any time soon. He was way too little and inexperienced to take on the biggest slide there and a tunnel slide of all the things.

Worried about DS being fearful of the water now but I suppose I will have to slowly reintroduce it without DH there with his ‘misjudgments’. I couldn’t have taken him back to the pool after the slide incident when the poor baby was shaking.

I'm on your side with this, I think it was a terrible misjudgement of your husband's and I wouldn't be forgiving him until he showed some comprehension and remorse.

A note about 'reintroducing water'. Don't reintroduce it, just put him in it. If you change your behaviour from how it was before this incident, your son will pick up on it and you'll create a problem where one didn't exist.

Your son is more likely to be fearful of water slides than water so don't make an issue of it. Just continue as if nothing had happened at all.

soupyspoon · 07/08/2025 08:01

This isnt a problem with the water park, its just one of those things. Kids dont always like everything they play on. Sometimes they and we overestimate what they'll like or can manage. Its a learning curve. It doesnt have to be made into a 'problem'.

Yes write to the water park, change the rules for all the kids then, that will fix it.

As others have said, there are 2 year olds that would love it and 9 year olds that might get scared. Its a judgement call and doesnt always work out.

Im just waiting for someone to mention 'safeguarding'.

GlastoNinja · 07/08/2025 08:02

SilverHammer · 07/08/2025 07:58

What a stupid idiotic comment. You obviously don’t have kids.

Show quote history

I genuinely don’t understand why you feel the need to be so angry, insulting and presumptuous in your response.

There are pages and pages of very similar responses and a few responses from OP, some of which offer a slightly different perspective on events. The bottom line being that your response might be a little OTT

arethereanyleftatall · 07/08/2025 08:03

I was totally on your side op from the description in the op, had in my mind one of those long slides at water parks.

but, if it’s in the Uk where H&S is so ott compared to many other countries, the height restriction allowed a small 2 year old (meaning it really only excludes babies!) , and adults weren’t allowed to take kids on laps (presumably because the slide is so slow they’d get stuck), and no water, I’m starting to imagine a much shorter slide.

still super scary for your little one to get stuck, but maybe not such a stupid decision as first thought by your dh.

MrBiscuits24 · 07/08/2025 08:03

He made a mistake. In time you’ll laugh about it. It was a safe mistake as in lifeguards were present, you were both there etc. It was a risk but not reckless.

CheekyCherryColaCandy · 07/08/2025 08:05

Jorgua · 07/08/2025 07:57

No, it will not be because of the mothers (sic) rection.

Show quote history

We will agree to disagree. Not sure you are so snarky and aggressive in your replies to posters.

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