Upset by DH’s ‘misjudgment’ aka lack of common sense

[Tothink]

We went to a waterpark today for the first time with our two sons (aged 2&4).

DS1 (eldest) is much more water confident than DS2 and doesn’t mind going down the slides, getting hair/eyes wet etc. DS2 a lot more apprehensive and even looks too small for the slides.

At one point DS1 wanted to go down the biggest slide (it was a fully closed tunnel slide which went from the top of the waterpark down to the bottom. It had various bends and turns. DS1 went down it fine. DH took him up there (quite a way up), he carried DS2 with him but I assumed he would walk back down the steps to the bottom once DS1 had entered the slide. But no… I saw him lower DS2 into the slide and I went slightly ballistic from the bottom, trying to shout up and signal to him ‘NO!’. He obviously did it any way. He put DS2 in the tunnel and off he went.

I waited right at the bottom for DS2 to appear. I waited. I waited. I started to fucking panic like there is no tomorrow and then I hear him screaming ‘mama, mama’. And truly in that moment my whole body went to absolute jelly. He is a very small 2 year old and was clearly terrified, stuck alone in this fully closed long ass tunnel.

To clarify, there’s no water going through the tunnel obviously, I mean it’s wet in there due to wet swimwear going through it but no stream of water. However, it’s the mere fact that I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him screaming for me.

Then he stopped screaming for me and I panicked even more. Lifeguards all came over but didn’t actually know what to suggest because DS2 had obviously gotten stuck somewhere in the tunnel and seeing as he is only 2, he didn’t really know to keep sliding himself down. Nobody could slide down it and get him because apparently it was too risky (if they went down too fast they could bang into him).

He eventually came out, shaking like an absolute leaf. It honestly felt like ages. The screaming made it worse but then the silent parts were even worse than that.

Furious at DH and feeling so shaken by it.

The OP has said in this case the lifeguard at the top of the slide wouldn't let the dad go down with the kid. Which I find strange when some waterparks like Center Parcs require adults to accompany small children on waterslides but hey ho!

The lifeguard was right not to let OP’s DH put the child on his lap, that would have been dangerous. My point was that parents often seem to assume their child will find something fun because they do, and many, based on my recent observation at the adventure park I was at, seem happy to ignore their child’s feelings and push them to do things they don’t actually want to do.

My 10 year old has the empathy to understand that, even if I (or someone else) haven’t tried something she thinks is fun, they are free not to.

Do you have any idea how dangerous that is???? The fact you are suggesting this is shocking.

The toddler met the height requirements, wanted to go down, and the lifeguard wisely told the dad he couldn’t go down with him.

It’s a dry slide, no water.

It simply can't have been that terrifying a slide. A 2yo met the height restrictions and the lifeguard allowed the 2yo to go down.

If the child is traumatised more than a slightly scary moment when he thought he was stuck, it will be because of all the fuss since. Seeing his mother unable to look at this father becuase of something "he" (the boy) did will have a lasting effect, far more than momentarily being stuck in a slide.

This happened to me, not by my parents but a friend's parents. I've never forgotten.. I can see it now and I never learned to swim or enjoyed pools because of it.

The lifeguard was right not to let OP’s DH put the child on his lap, that would have been dangerous. My point was that parents often seem to assume their child will find something fun because they do, and many, based on my recent observation at the adventure park I was at, seem happy to ignore their child’s feelings and push them to do things they don’t actually want to do.

My 10 year old has the empathy to understand that, even if I (or someone else) haven’t tried something she thinks is fun, they are free not to.

OP stated its a dry, fully enclosed slide and its clearly for little kids as its manned the 4 year old (pre-schooler) could go down unattended. Really no different than a slide at a soft play or park.

In stafforshire the girl was found in the lagoon (water area) after the tidal wave session (which even adults reported was strong enough to knock them over and drag them in), wildly different completely incomparable situations.

Op can you link to this watermark and the huge tunnel?

I have been to many with my ds - who would have loved the slide even at 2yo!

Any slide that has no water in is within the child’s play pirate ship type area that’s often a splash pad type set up with no water at the bottom.

Your description just seems to fuel your emotion rather than a description that meets most of our experiences.

Maybe if we can all see of huge building height water slide we’d understand?

And was OP's response likely to make the child feel more or less scared by what he experienced? Being sat in a dark tunnel may be scary for a two-year old, but isn't really a danger. This is a dry children's slide, that he met the height restrictions for, that the dad put him on after talking to the attendant at the top, and with a parent at each end. Unpleasant maybe, but the child learns from how adults respond to things, and this feels like a case where the child is learning to be more fearful from OP than he was anyway.

I'd have asked the 4 year old sibling to slide down and slide down with your toddler.

Your dh is an arse.

It must be a super slow slide if a tiny child gets stuck in it. More of a tunnel than a slide.

You can't seriously be suggesting that would be a good idea?

Kids aren't allowed to go down slides two at a time. For very sensible reasons.

I understand that it's horrible seeing your child scared etc, but your child met the height requirement and the lifeguards had no issue with this, so countless other two-year-olds will no doubt have been on that slide without any problems. If it wasn't appropriate for a toddler, they wouldn't allow toddlers on it.

Your DH made a judgement that turned out to be the wrong one. All parents make the occasional mistake. Obviously you'd comfort your child and give them a big cuddle afterwards and reassure them, but then you need to move on and stop making a massive deal out of this.

For sure, that's how we have always done it when younger ones were stuck in a large tunnel slide. But then Eagan, I've never been anywhere where people didn't come sliding after in lighting speed, so I rather than my own son get his brother that way, then some rowdy kid crashing into the toddler.

They can slow down the speed obviously otherwise 2 year old wouldn't have been stuck. No use waiting at the bottom of the slide when apparently it too ages for the toddler to come out.

I think you misread. I wouldn't have sent them down together, I'd have sent the 4 year old up to slide down to where the toddler is and help him down.

Oh I see! Sorry. They said they wouldn't allow that either

Misjudgement! The child is 2 years old and now traumatised for life. God forbid you ever have to care for any children.

You can't be serious

@Tothink did your husband go down the slide after he sent your toddler down? Or was it too small for adults I just can’t imagine a big slide having no water going down

That’s a misjudgment! Traumatised for life … he’s still 2, you have no idea how he’ll be for the rest of his life! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤨🤨😂😂

I would have been so annoyed!! Regardless of if he is tall enough DH should know DS well enough to know that he would not like it.

It has been a day I think I would have calmed down by now but yes in the moment I think I would have reacted like you did. The calling 'mama mama' his little heart

A 2 year old, stuck in a pipe, no adults in sight, scared of water... trust me that child will be having nightmares for years and will never forget it.
You may well laugh but had you ever had young children yourself you'd not think this was funny at all, quite the opposite for the child involved but yep laugh away. Are you OP's DH??!!

I too would love to see the slide, but I suspect we won’t as OP probably realises now in the cold light of day when it’s all calmed down, that actually she’s also in the wrong. I fully understand her initial visceral reaction, but as others have said, her son was above the height restriction, wanted to go down (and had been taken to the top to do so).🤷‍♀️

Just to be clear, I’m laughing at you, not the child. Yes I’ve had young children. Again, you have no idea this will traumatise him for life - unless of course you have a great crystal ball to look into everyone’s futures? 🧐

What children have nightmares about is completely random. My son had a nightmare about not having broccoli this week. He doesn't even like broccoli. If their trusted adult helps them navigate what an appropriate response to the situation is then it'll be fine.