Which are the weirdest Mumsnet topics?

[SpamBeansAndWaffles]

I mean the ones that bear no resemblance to how people function in real life.

The doghouse - dogs must never be left for even reasonably short periods. In real life people just do this without thinking to go shopping or work.

The weddings threads - the absolute 'your wedding your rules' mantra. You have a brother who has helped and supported you your whole life, who has looked after your dc and generally been a kind and supportive family member. No invite for him! We want no more than five guests!

Relationships LTB - for even small issues as though it's an easy and logical thing to do. (I know there are excellent posters supporting people to leave genuinely abusive relationships).

I’m always surprised by the horror and accusations made when someone suggests leaving their child sleeping in a hotel room while they have dinner downstairs with a baby monitor.

The words ‘abuse’ and ‘neglect’ always get thrown around a lot.

Meanwhile everyone I know does this without any particular concern in real life.

The people who are proud of barely cleaning their home and only showering 2-3 times a week then insisting they absolutely do not smell!
They also argue that they have no time for changing beds and 'can't remember' the last time the sheets got washed......but again its fine and their bedroom absolutely doesn't smell!
The number of pongy people I bump into in public seems to contradict their notion that they do not smell but anyone who cleans regularly, has a daily shower and changes their bedding regularly is told they are single handedly destroying the planet!

And conversely the washing towels after every use!

The laundry threads are a bit mad posters fainting at the mere hint of scent from the washing, I don't know what these posters are using to wash their clothes.

The endless threads and weird ideas some posters have about class.

And toilet brushes.

The prevalence of peri menopause, emetaphobia, the inability to cope with anything that is scented with anything stronger than fresh air, the aversion to any social gathering and the S&B threads where clothes that I've never seen any normal person wear are suggested as though they are the only sane option. God don't buy from Next, here's this sack from a Norwegian brand for only £600.

Also the hundreds of hours people seem to spend developing superiority complexes over the most insane, inconsequential issues like wearing high heels or going on AI holidays.

The competitive hygiene threads. People showering 3 times a day and declaring anything less as vile.

The Royal Family topic.... totally batshit, all of it!

I stay off anything related to the royal family. It's a (blue) blood bath in there.

@ApisMellifera Cross post - and strong agree.

The weird class threads where everybody seems to know a duke who only wears rags and drives a battered Volvo and is never happier than when hanging out with the homeless tramp outside Wilkos, certainly nobody comme il faut would even dream of socialising with anyone (gasp) middle class (faints in horror).

And thing to do with weight and weight loss.

An OP displays really worrying level of self loathing for their body despite having a normal BMI and almost instantaneously, pages and pages of weight loss tips appear with a peppering of 'Mounjaro'.

Very little concern about whether the OP is actually well.

The apparent aversion to toilet brushes. Always weird. Some people seem to think it is cleaner to put your hands down there to scrub skiddoes off.

The competitive laundry threads where people claim to be washing their towels and sheets every five minutes are batshit crazy too.

I was also going to say the cleaning/laundry threads. It seems everyone falls into one of two camps - disgustingly filthy or OCD level cleanliness 😂 yet in reality most people are in the middle.

I think the toilet brush haters are likely to have cleaners and don't really care how the toilet(s) are cleaned.

Threads that start.....Can anyone recommend a puppy breed that doesn't smell, shed or bark, is hypo allergenic and that I can carry around the house in a basket as my husband doesn't like dogs? I have done some research and, as a family, we have agreed we need one that will only need walking in dry weather and only then on carpet and will poo pink glitter directly into a scented bag. P.s. Will I need to crate train it or are they born knowing things like that?

The threads where someone comes on with a fact i.e. I have an orange and is instantly is pelted with unsolicited advice
Whatever you do, don't buy a cheap orange squeezer.
Your orange should double bagged if you have small children in the house.
LTO.

How people are about toilets; not using any but their own, and not allowing anyone to use theirs. There was a thread where one user was completely aghast that someone had done a poo in a public toilet, during a really long journey. Wasn't even capable of comprehension that other people have bowel problems, or travel for long periods. Utterly batshit insane, and yet they walk among us.

I do i live alone and will wash my towels after every use.

Public toilets i really dont get it.
We want equal rights got equal rights but dont want to share equality.

The angst over leaving Secondary age children alone.

In real life most people don't think twice about it.

I say this with a lot of love for the gals on style and beauty, but every wedding dress guest thread is full of suggestions for dresses that are so old fashioned and fuddy duddy and dated and its actually got to the point where I wonder if people are trolling when someone mentions they are early 30s and have a nice figure and they get suggestions for dresses you'd see a 60 year old in 2005 wearing to a wedding. Bloody Hobbs and Karen Millen florals with necklines for nuns. I feel like other threads show off better that we are all different with different tastes and preferences and thats okay! I love that about fashion! I will defend that to the death in other circumstances! You should dress as modern or as old fashioned or as comfy or as sexy or as cool as you want! But for some reason that logic goes out of the window when I see another wedding dress guest thread😬again, much respect to the S&B gals!

I was just coming to add exactly this! I’ve got it hidden now because there were always threads from there in Active and it pissed me off that anyone wants to discuss these people! I find it baffling and infuriating in equal measure.

Along the lines of LTB…the suggestion that the slightest negative behaviour by a man is abuse. “He was a bit quiet over dinner”…..
”He’s emotionally abusing and manipulating you by withholding love and affection..call DV helpline, get out IMMEDIATELY” 🙄