Which are the weirdest Mumsnet topics?

[SpamBeansAndWaffles]

I mean the ones that bear no resemblance to how people function in real life.

The doghouse - dogs must never be left for even reasonably short periods. In real life people just do this without thinking to go shopping or work.

The weddings threads - the absolute 'your wedding your rules' mantra. You have a brother who has helped and supported you your whole life, who has looked after your dc and generally been a kind and supportive family member. No invite for him! We want no more than five guests!

Relationships LTB - for even small issues as though it's an easy and logical thing to do. (I know there are excellent posters supporting people to leave genuinely abusive relationships).

Horror that a grandparent kissed their baby.

🤣🤣

Definitely this. Added to which, all the threads in the gardening topic which start:

Does anyone know of a really fast-growing tree that we can put against the fence as a screen against a horrible view / to stop neighbours peering into our garden, that is evergreen, doesn't get more than 3 metres tall, won't cast any shade, never drops any leaves, doesn't have pigeons nesting in it, needs no maintenance whatsoever - oh and if it had sky blue pink flowers on it all year round that would be great. And we want to plant it straight away but won't be able to water it all through the middle of summer because we're going on holiday for weeks at a time.

12 year old lashed out and hit her stepmother for the first time ever and the first response was “call the police, she’s above the age of criminal responsibility”

I eye rolled so hard I saw the floor behind me

This gives me chills…. Maddy McCann! 😢😢

How does sharing equality fit into that? Why are men's and women's toilets less equal to unisex toilets?

Do you know of any other parents this has happened to apart from that couple?

Madeline McCann's situation wasn't remotely similar.

🤣

Same here. I think we've been had.

What is crazy about the dog house?

I loved autumn long before insta was a thing!

It is the best season, by far.

What was the answer. Asking for a friend…. 😆

😁 Very often it will be bamboo and you will be told the clumping variety is safe as it doesn’t spread. It does, albeit at a slower pace.

Haha! Yep - I was reading a thread the other day and was so confused by the amount of posters who were saying things like “But WHY would you want your washing to smell anything other than CLEAN?” like people using fabric conditioner are all insane. They were so outraged. Really odd.

So many threads where the only real answer is a tolerant eyeroll ('my teenager complains about the meals I cook', 'my dog barks at the postman', 'my neighbour looks over my fence when I hang my washing out and tries to talk to me') and perhaps a side order of heavy sighs and a knowledge that life isn't perfect and occasionally stuff happens that's not great. But people pile in with such over the top advice that you would assume that everyone lives alone in a sanitised house miles from anywhere, never answers the phone or speaks to another human.

Sometimes life is sub optimal and you have to learn a bit of tolerance. Not every problem has a definite answer and sometimes turning a blind eye is the best thing. Not in Mumsnet land though.

I had the same a while ago.

Some posters just don’t want to admit that the drugs depress appetite. They need to convince themselves that they weren’t eating too much previously.

The recent thread where the OP was upset about being asked if she wanted a receipt........ batshit.

Oh wow! I didn’t understand the reason for the anger until you explained.

I like to read the dog house threads sometimes but try not to comment, as the entire ethos is insane.

Rant incoming, but for me it’s the competitive under users of toilet paper threads.

“My whole family of fifty only use one toilet roll a century, I can’t understand how anyone needs anymore, you’re just wasting it”.

They can’t understand how anyone can be different from them, or shock horror, some people have bowel problems and need to use more.

Or the ones who ration toilet paper. “Only one sheet for a wee, two for a poo only”, oh fuck off, I can’t stand stinginess, use whatever you need to wipe your arse, don’t judge or track how much others use 🙄

Probably gets to me as I have bowel problems and use a lot of toilet paper, but I use what I need to use. Why are people so interested in how others wipe their arses.

Oh God yes, same here and I do use a lot. I would take my own stash if I was ever (terrifyingly) invited to their place!

It's the can I eat this threads.

I bought fillet steak yesterday for tonight's supper. I took it out to cook and just before I opened it I see the use by date is today. Should I bin it. It's past 6pm so more like tomorrow than today right now.

I cooked too much mince and wanted to keep some for spag bol for tomorrow. I left it one the side to cool and watched a TV series and forgot about it. It's been out for 43 minutes. Will be okay or should I bin it?

That’s different! I don’t want to share a toilet with an unknown man.

Yes, please can someone inject some common sense into me!