Which are the weirdest Mumsnet topics?

[SpamBeansAndWaffles]

I mean the ones that bear no resemblance to how people function in real life.

The doghouse - dogs must never be left for even reasonably short periods. In real life people just do this without thinking to go shopping or work.

The weddings threads - the absolute 'your wedding your rules' mantra. You have a brother who has helped and supported you your whole life, who has looked after your dc and generally been a kind and supportive family member. No invite for him! We want no more than five guests!

Relationships LTB - for even small issues as though it's an easy and logical thing to do. (I know there are excellent posters supporting people to leave genuinely abusive relationships).

On any thread involving children experiencing a suboptimal home environment or upbringing, there will almost always be a poster who suggests involving social services in circumstances that clearly come nowhere close to the threshold for social services to get involved, eg "My friend has given her children chicken nuggets and chips for tea four times this week. I'm concerned this isn't an ideal diet." "Have you considered contacting social sevices?"

Cleaning ones where people do 5 washes a day, shower 3 times a day, change clothes twice a day, etc. Batshit!

dog threads - full of crazies

Anything that attracts the competitive under eaters

Oh & the ones where the OP says DH has been a bit distant with me. Cue a load of posters telling OP he has a 2nd family and to get her ducks in a row.

The wedding ones are absolutely batshit. There was one recently where a whole family were invited to the wedding except the Grandmother. People were falling over themselves to say it was fine. His wedding his rules. I literally know noone in real life who would do this or think it was ok.

The really long essays where a poster describes in detail what their toddler does and doesn’t do, complete with WebMD jargon looking for someone to validate that their kid has ASD. Cue 100s of responses ‘sounds like a typical toddler to me’ but OP battles every response with ‘yes but…’ as if they want their child to have it? I have no other way of describing it. And I’m pretty sure the threads are the same person for months on end now.

If it is the poster I think you mean, yes it is all the same person with pretty clear MH problems.

Baby shower bashing (from people who probably had wedding gift lists. Baby showers make much more sense)

Penis beaker

I don't know anyone who has done this

Absolutely. Many on Mumsnet seem to have lost sight of the notion that a wedding is a family event and that the bride and groom are hosts (often with parents). No one I know in real life would defend excluding a perfectly benign grandmother from a wedding. Bonkers in the extreme.

Yes @RitaIncognita Mumsnet is crazy about wedding invitees.

Everyone i know in real life would plan their wedding, so that the day was all how they wanted it but there might have to be a couple of people there through obligation - grandparents, aunts etc - who had, over the years, included them in their family events and were important to their parents or the rest of the family.

No one who remembers Madeleine would do this, I hope. If her loss could serve a purpose, it should be that no child is ever left to sleep alone in a strange place.

Plenty of people still do it.
Look this hotel even advertises it

ickworthhotel.co.uk/childrens-club/

I know which ones you mean and she’s had many, many MNers advising her to seek MH support.

You never, ever need to iron your clothes! You wash them and just need to hang them up, allegedly 🤷🏼‍♀️ then they laugh gaily ‘I haven’t even SEEN my iron since 1982!’ Yes, we know, you look like a crinkle cut chip…

The prevalence of peri menopause

What do you mean, the prevalence of perimenopause? Pretty much half the population go through perimenopause, since it just means the process leading up to menopause. Are you suggesting that women mostly just have normal periods, then <bam> they stop, with no slowing down, no irregularity and no hormonal symptoms whatsoever?

Me neither. I don’t have children, but have children in the family, none of us would do this.

Ummm... what? How is men having their own toilets and women having their own toilets not equal? 'Equal' doesn't mean the same as 'sharing', you know. If your daughter has a bicycle and your son has a bicycle, that's equal. They don't need to share the same bicycle!

I’ve never really understood the ‘your children absolutely always come first’ threads. If you’re in a healthy, loving relationship, sometimes your partner comes first before the whims of your kids.

Also the ‘how much do you earn’ threads where a person claims to earn £200k, has £100k in savings but wonders ‘is this enough?’ Because of course, people on big salaries always get their investment advice from strangers on Mumsnet.

People who ask questions no one can know the answer to without knowing a lot more information - things like can I get out of this contract? What will my monthly pay be?
Surely you need to check what you signed up for and read the T&C's. Asking people on here is not going to give an accurate answer.

I take it you saw the thread where the ops dh didn't want a dog so she wanted a small none fluffy dog that she could remove from what ever room her dh wanted to be in .
Absolutely nuts and very unfair on her dh and the dog.

And you have to love the posts where a woman puts up a picture of a pregnancy test with the darkest, most glaringly obvious second line and says: “Is this test positive?”

Sooooooo many times I have been tempted to reply and say, “Sorry OP, I can’t see a second line. Perhaps try again tomorrow?”

🤣

That was so funny. Does anyone know of a DDog that becomes invisible on demand, doesn’t smell or make a noise and you can leave it at home whenever you want.

The feminism boards... I've never met anyone in real life like these posters, always so angry about something

At least one a week there's a thread that's basically the OP being completely baffled by the concept that different people like different things

“I find seafood disgusting, but other people seem to love it. How can that possible be?” or similar!