Absolutely bemused by this and also feeling a bit stupid

[Crazylittlethingcalledpeople]

This makes me sound like a total idiot but never mind.

I encountered a woman on mumsnet about four years ago who was experiencing a similar situation to me. She DM’d me and we communicated back and forth for a while before swapping numbers and moving to WhatsApp.

Ive seen her posts on mumsnet since - so who knows, she might see this!

Anyway, we have messaged back and forth on and off for the last four years. Sometimes not in touch for a couple of months, other times every day. She’s painted a fairly chaotic situation in her personal life and mine hasn’t been plain sailing.

We’ve never actually spoken on the phone in this time which I guess is weird but I hate the phone 🤣

Anyway, she then suggested finally meeting up for a meal and a drink - she lives about 3 hours from me - but she said she would drive nearish to me and stop over. I sent her a link for a hotel and booked somewhere for dinner and then we planned to have a few drinks.

So yesterday she messages to say what time she’s leaving. She keeps me updated with where she is and the time she should arrive. I head over at roughly the time she is expected… she messages to say she’s just parking her car and I walked over to the restaurant to wait for her.

And… that was it. I waited for twenty minutes and then tried to call her - went to answerphone. Then nothing on WhatsApp was delivering and it was clear she must have blocked me. I waited forty minutes in total in case (unlikely) her phone had lost charge, delayed checking in etc but absolutely nothing. I’m also blocked on her fb.

It must be one of the most bizarre things to ever happen to me.
She’s never asked me for money or anything weird… I mean clearly she never set off or had the intention of meeting me… but literally five minutes before blocking me she said ‘I’ve arrived.’

My brain is really like 🤯 because I can’t see why she’d bother all that time and then suggest meeting and then - ghost me?

So if she is reading this - it’s fine, I went and met some friends but it’s just weird! And I can’t make head nor tail of it! I guess I’m also a little freaked out because I would have said she was a friend and I can’t understand what she got from this? For all of it I’d like to know she’s ok.

She/he will of course be reading this thread.

Op you sound like a nice person
unfortunately therefore a perfect target for this weirdo

it sounds like some sort of catfishing/dishonesty - I wouldn’t rule out this being a man - in any case, I would not respond to any further messages if they happen. This person is at the very very least dishonest. And at worst a total psycho. any excuse will be fabricated shite.

the fact that you felt humiliated is part of your problem. You did nothing wrong. The other party has behaved like a twat - so why should you feel humiliated? You need to really think about why you are assigning blame/negativity to yourself when you did nothing wrong. This characteristic also made you a good target. Sorry to say that.

I don’t understand why you trusted this person in any way. Anyone can get a mn account.

the thing that you did fantastically was to avoid your home address being shared and to meet a good distance from home.

people are weirdos. Lots of them are on this site.

it would be exceptionally easy to fabricate something to bond with you over - each board - relationships, education, health , whatever contains thousands and thousands of detailed threads enabling someone to fabricate anything they want and masquerade as just another mum.

anyway. Looks like no harm done but be much more wary of people in future.

Is it not the norm to use the react button to like/agree/love a post without being an actual commentator on the thread?

I do it all the time when I don't have anything new to add that hasn't already been said a million times already, but will agree with comments. Never thought it might be considered creepy.

Ha same

I agree and am equally bemused. I was going to react to your post but didn’t want to come across as a weirdo! 🤣

I think so, I often press the react button regardless of whether I’ve added anything to the thread

🤣

I think it’s more to do with the type of thread that it might be seen as a bit creepy to only react, the idea that the mystery person is just sat back watching this thread after not turning up.

My hunch is that it’s a celebrity and she got followed and had to abandon the plans.

It’s definitely not you anyway. Keep your chin up.

Be ever grateful that she did not enter your life, chaos is a RED FLAG and don’t ignore it. 🚩

Well just for the heck of it, I've reacted to you @Thanksman, hope it's not unnerved you! 😱

I’m actually shaking with fear here now, woodlandcalm.

If we still had the laugh button I'd have been hitting that now and really upending your Sunday!😄

🤣

Charitably I’m going to suggest social anxiety as well, plus a bit of embellishing her usual situation on posts and messages to seem like she’s more interesting than she is.

She thought she’d go through with meeting, bottled at the last minute and has blocked you because she’s too embarrassed.

I am another one who likes the react button. It’s very useful as @woodlandcalm says. If I have nothing new to add to a thread or have said what I want to say but I then want to agree with a different point another poster has made. It’s bad enough to have lost the 😂 emoji. Long live the react button! This thread has turned into a bit of ‘it wasn’t me wot did it Guv’. Given that the OP has not stated on any of her posts her intention to report the username of the culprit to MNHQ (or have I missed that?). I am starting to have some doubts about this thread.

I'd be checking her DMs. She might be cat fishing other more vulnerable posters.

I end up having doubts about every thread Berryslacks, which is quite sad really.

I mean as it turns out we’ve all only got each other’s word for it!
But unfortunately for me it is true and I just wanted people to help me make sense of what has truly made me very confused!

I could report her later usernames but we haven’t communicated over mumsnet for about three years. Maybe more. We moved to fb and WhatsApp.

I do hope she’s ok - whatever her situation is. It doesn’t feel like she can be happy. And yes, I suppose the version of who she showed me - I do care about them. Even though the rational part of me knows they probably don’t exist in that form.

Just a question Crazy, did you feel a little suspicious when she wouldn’t speak on the phone?

@CrazylittlethingcalledpeopleIt’s entirely your choice to report the usernames to MNHQ. I do think it’s something you should consider though. As several posters on this thread have suggested this person could be targeting others posters who are possibly more vulnerable than you. If the person hasn’t done anything nefarious (other than not meeting you when they said they would).Then surely MNHQ will just allow them to continue posting on threads?

People are weird. I once knew someone who said she was married to spike from buffy the vampire slayer, she worked at a chain bookstore in a small town! She told everyone she was pregnant and would grab your hand and put it on her stomach then suck her belly in and out saying the baby was kicking! Most strange!

Please report it op. They might not talk to you on here anymore but could be stringing others along under different usernames. The whole thing is so creepy.

Hrft but was their sone benefit to getting you out of the way, burgle your home or place you in some sort of predicament with someone.

Truly odd but people are odd.
Wouldn't surprise me if she got back in touch with some far fetched story of being kidnapped after arrived at the car park or something.

That's weird. I dont know what to make of it at all.

And me, and I have on this thread but this is my first comment. Reading through it all I’m thinking it sounds like a revenge thing. I can’t explain how but it’s so utterly bizarre and some people will hold a grudge for years before acting on it. I’m not casting aspersions on the OP’s character and it seems an odd way to go about things plus 4 years is a long time to be planning the final set-up but it’s possible 🤷‍♀️