Common assumptions some Mumsnetters jump to

[Darkdiamond]

I find that there are certain trigger words that seem to elicit a certain type of response on Mumsnet.

If someone asks about sleep training, many posters assume that the OP is referring to cry it out, with endless posts about sleep training is just 'teaching a baby that nobody will come when they cry'. This is in spite of the many different ways of sleep training, many of which involve the parent staying with the child or very close by.

I've also seen a few times that posters who take an interest in current trends are perceived as simpletons who take all of their existing clothes and burn them on a big pyre, then replace the lot with a massive haul from shien, every year. No concept of adding in new pieces here and there to adapt to your current wardrobe.

Finally I've also noticed the misconception that it takes half an hour to do your make up in the morning, and many posters would rather have that extra 30 minutes in bed. I've seen posters explain time and again that it takes them 5 minutes to put make up on, but the myth that the poster gets up at 5 am to do her make up because it's so time consuming persists.

Just a little musing I thought of recently. Anyone else notice common conclusions you see people jump to on mumsnet? I'm sure gentle parenting is another!

That all men cheat

In the higher education topic your DC lack ambition if they don't aim for a top 10 university and a career in finance or law in a big 4 or magic circle firm or other industry not known for its integrity

I would say the main assumption is that they don't need to even bother reading all the OPs posts, never mind anyone else's. And if they do read them they don't have to actually exercise any comprehension skills.

Anybody who is not white can't possibly be a high earner. They must be desperately poor and on benefits.

I haven't come across posts that reflect this TBH.

That all porn features trafficked girls and women

That everyone works M - F, 9 - 5
That all men cheat or are just waiting for the opportunity to
That everyone has spare money to pay a cleaner, nanny etc
That everyone must have family/friends/neighbour that will watch the kids at the drop of a hat

That everyone can throw money at a problem to solve it.

Never seen anything remotely like this.

Yes indeed. They can’t conceive that a woman might actually make a decision if her own free will to do porn. Even then she must be coerced or damaged.

It's difficult to articulate but if I mention that I am autistic (where it's relevant) I get different responses, with more implication that I am lazy/out for myself and similar.

That's fine. I have noticed. But TAATS are banned so I can't defend my claim.
Most recently on a current thread where someone claims ' immigrants' don't work.

All men are bad
All men are useless and don’t carry their weight
Most transgender people esp men to women only do it to annoy women
Women who cheat get a lot more sympathy than men and it’s normally due to man in both situations
People don’t work hard enough to have a village to help support them but then get berated for asking for help as “you made your bed and decided to have kids you should be able to cope on your own”

That taking in ironing is a foolproof way of getting out of poverty.

This is one example of how important the phrasing of your OP is in terms of the responses you receive. Also a badly written OP containing lots of the “trigger words” can set a thread going off on multiple tangents.

That every vaccine is 100% safe ‘and wouldn’t be approved if it wasn’t’ and all contribute to herd immunity (also not how many vaccines work)

That everyone can get their shopping delivered

That everyone can just "get an Uber"

That everyone has access to family or friends who can help with childcare and that it's "making excuses" if you try and explain that no, you really don't

That every absent father can and should be made to "step up" because obvs it's that simple to make a man who walked out on you/his DC do anything he doesn't want to do

Going through a tricky spell in our marriage....
LTB.
But we have been happily married for 30 years?
Doesn't matter...LTB. He's probably cheating.

That everyone is from England or wales (I am, but the number of ‘well school holidays haven’t started yet!’ type posts.)

That girls are bitchy and boys are affectionate (very reductive but gender disappointment threads do rather express this view.)

That teens are harder work than toddlers and don’t we know it as parents of teens are very keen to take over toddler threads.

That mom is an American word rather than from Birmingham and the Black Country.

That if any woman enjoys and participates in any type of sex that isn’t ‘vanilla’ then she’s being coerced into it and it must be because her husband/partner watches too much porn. They simply cannot get their heads around the fact that we may have requested it ourselves and actually, really really enjoy it.

That those who don't choose private school are jealous of those that do.

That Aldi and Lidl are definitely always cheaper no matter what you buy.

That you can just sell your home and downsize easily if you have money struggles.

That public transport is easily available.

That anyone who uses social media is a mindless fool begging for attention.

That everyone has ND or dementia.

Haha this. The one stop. solution to everything relationship related on MN.

That their experiences are the only genuine ones. So of they did 15 gcses, everyone did 15 gcses. Or because they have need an app for a bus, everyone does.

Heaven forbid you state that you can't drive! MNers think all none drivers are a burden to their family and friends, as its a life skill and you can't possibly have kids without a car. No concept of living in a great public transport area with most things a 5-10 min walk from your home.