Common assumptions some Mumsnetters jump to

[Darkdiamond]

I find that there are certain trigger words that seem to elicit a certain type of response on Mumsnet.

If someone asks about sleep training, many posters assume that the OP is referring to cry it out, with endless posts about sleep training is just 'teaching a baby that nobody will come when they cry'. This is in spite of the many different ways of sleep training, many of which involve the parent staying with the child or very close by.

I've also seen a few times that posters who take an interest in current trends are perceived as simpletons who take all of their existing clothes and burn them on a big pyre, then replace the lot with a massive haul from shien, every year. No concept of adding in new pieces here and there to adapt to your current wardrobe.

Finally I've also noticed the misconception that it takes half an hour to do your make up in the morning, and many posters would rather have that extra 30 minutes in bed. I've seen posters explain time and again that it takes them 5 minutes to put make up on, but the myth that the poster gets up at 5 am to do her make up because it's so time consuming persists.

Just a little musing I thought of recently. Anyone else notice common conclusions you see people jump to on mumsnet? I'm sure gentle parenting is another!

A common assumption is that leaving the relationship is the ultimate solution to all relationship issues. Also, stay-at-home mums vs. working mums debates come with strong opinions and assumptions.

That most people can afford clothes from Hobbs, Boden etc

That people don't have regional accents - they're mispronouncing words

Really? Generally the assumption seems to be that women in porn are doing it because they love sex and it’s an easy way to work their way through university. And even if some women are exploited, it’s super easy to spot.

It's always in a woman's best interests to get married because the Big Important Man will always earn more and, after having children, the woman will always be either a stay at home mum or work in part time low paid work. There are no exceptions to this.

OP: "but I'm an international human rights lawyer earning a billion pounds a week and my partner works in Tesco. The plan is for him to work part time to care for the children"
MN: "but he has more assets than you"
OP: "no, he doesn't. He doesn't even own a Mars bar. I've got savings and a mansion in Mayfair"
MN: "Get married immediately, you'll be vulnerable when you have children"

Also, the assumption that married women do all the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing whilst the husband puts his feet up.

And yes, like PP have said, if a man ever initiates a break up, it's always because he's cheating. In fact, even if the relationship is fine, he's definitely cheating. All men cheat all the time, their dicks must be red raw!

Everyone lives in a big house with multiple spare rooms and a massive garden.

LTB because ‘DH is breathing wrong’.

That respite is readily available to families who has a disabled child

Yes but it’s invariably those that have multiple kids and live rurally or something where the lack of drivers license is 😳

That everyone has a spare room, tumble dryer, second car and can drive. If you don’t then just get one!

If you drink more than a bottle of wine as a one off you are an alcoholic

grandparents must leave inheritance to children they are not related to

all men cheat

we must never criticise women’s football because it’s played by women
leaving your husband is the answer to everything

That the male partner works longer hours outside the house and/or is the higher earner.

That the female partner does more housework.

That everyone involved is able bodied.

😂😂 👏🏻

“Just adopt!”

If a father doesn't see enough of his children, it's his own fault. If a mother doesn't see enough of her children, it's the father's fault.

-Men cheat and are only motivated by sex.
-Women are a Borg who all think the same. If you don't think the same you must be a man or a 'handmaiden'
-Everyone can afford a cleaner to fix their problems

Absolutely no-one believes this (except for people who get their medical "advice" from Tik Tok or Facebook).

All medication can cause side effects, even "harmless" ones like Paracetamol.

What sensible people, who understand statitistics, believe is that vaccines are safer than getting the diseases they prevent.

An OP once said she was looking for childcare as her husband was a surgeon who worked long hours and immediately it was assumed he could leave work early if he wanted to but was a lazy man. He's a surgeon, he can't just walk out!

" You are just jealous' to anyone who disagrees with OP. Even if OP is pregnant with her 6th child by a deadbeat dad and has no money.

That you’re a failure as a parent if your child lives at home past age 18 (or that you are a failure as an adult if you live at home past age 18)

That all children must go to our want to go to university. That all mumsnetters went to university

That working anywhere that isn’t a single physical place of work under the watchful eye of a supervisor got invented in Covid times.

I agree and I'm guilty of making some of the assumptions you quote 👀...

Personally, I'd add:

1. Gentle parenting is the worst thing that has happened to the world since WWII.
2. SAHMS are unineuronal beings (alternatively, patriarchy's secret agents: choose at convenience).
3. People who go "No Contact" with family members are snowflakes and spoiled brats who clearly needed to be violently properly disciplined as children to become functional members of society. ETA: 4) Having obedient children is an aspiration and a good thing.

If your husband forgot to put the bin out you should leave him 😂
don’t forget that one

That all children instantly become mature, independent and responsible adults the minute they turn 18.

I know this one’s been quoted already but I’m putting bells on it

🔔 🔔 🔔

• All men are unfaithful/lazy/incompetent.
• Sex is a ghastly business. Once children have been created, it’s fine to never have it again, any husband who thinks differently is a demented sex pest.
• Everyone can afford a nanny/cleaner/au pair.