NC but if any of my friends recognise me don’t tell me!! I just need to get this off my chest and I can’t post this in AIBU because yes I am… LTB etc etc
Yesterday was my child’s birthday party - at home, bouncy castle and kids tea. I have 3 children 4 and under and perhaps this was a bit ambitious but I’ve done similar before and I thought my husband would help, do something DO ANYTHING.
This is how the day went.
He promised me a lie in so he could do the gym. Of course this didn’t fucking happen.
He didn’t get up with the kids and instead had a lie in til 9 fucking 30 (‘you should have woken me’ I didn’t because who wants to wake someone grumpy. I figured I’d let it go and it would be my turn tomorrow) I did breakfast and attempted tidying the house while looking after 3 small children.
Then he had a 2 hour gym session while I stayed home with kids. Then I went to the shops with the eldest and the newborn baby to get last minute bits. His ‘help’ was looking looking after middle child who he was supposed to take to the playground. I came back and found out he had watched sport with them the entire time giving them crisps. He didn’t give child lunch or put them down for their nap, LITERALLY WHAT WHERE IS YOUR BRAIN.
He took the eldest 2 out ‘so i could nap’. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t even hoovered or put away his own trainers from gym or his lunch things which I noticed after he had driven off.
He then came back with the children AFTER the party started and loudly asked me how my nap was and told all the guests he’d looked after the kids!!!!! As if I had had a nap?!?! Meanwhile I was looking after newborn, running around doing ALL the food and getting people drinks. He mentioned to me both children immediately fell asleep in the car for 1.5 hours so he’d been forced to pull over and SIT IN THR CAR for the whole time scrolling for the hour before the party. Eldest is long beyond napping so that was fucking unhelpful to add to the list of being the world shittest husband of the day.
at the party:
- He put loud sport on the tv in the room the party was in until I made him turn it off again
- only noticed I needed help when one of the other dads offered to help and was cutting up some fruit for me
- he said I seemed stressed and said I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE ORGANISED argh I wanted to poke his eyes out and put his head on a stick
- walked over half way through pass the parcel to loudly ask me to turn the music off as it was ruining his conversation with one of the dads. I couldn’t bite my tongue and said sorry is this CHILDRENS birthday party inconveniencing your adult conversation
- didnt supervise any of our children as I would have expected normally. So one was crying as had been pushed over and another was having a fight over a toy with another child. My mum friends helped out by changing my children into their party clothes when they arrived home from the car nap and changed my toddlers nappy. And another friend offered to change my newborn for me while i was shoving some sausage rolls in the oven (very close friends. Thank GOD for women).
- He then asked me when we were doing the cake as I was breastfeeding newborn and trotted off to get the candles I had already put out on the side ready and ASKED ME HOW MANY CANDLES WE NEEDED FOR THE CAKE for his own child’s birthday I shit you not. Like I said, all our children are under 5 so he genuinely could not be more brainless here. You cannot make this shit up.
- His final helpful contribution was coming over to me as I cut up cake, was asking me if I had done party bags (oooo no and it’s so helpful asking me at the end of the party as if I hadn’t wtf would he be doing now to rectify that) and then TELLING ME how many slices I needed to cut up AS IF I didn’t know how many children I had invited, catered for and made party bags for.
I WANT TO PUT MY HUSBAND IN THE BIN. End of rant.