How many hours did you work after going back from maternity leave?

[twoorthreeorfour]

My contract is changing to 3 days, 22.5 hours. I wondered what other people do. If you reduced your hours, at what point did you go full time again?

Are you also teaching her that she can choose to work and have a family if she so wishes? Or are you the one doing the brainwashing?

Well, exactly. Also the idea that there are things that men are inherently better at and should lead on and ditto women is ridiculous. Some men are rubbish at financial stuff and cars, but fabulous at supporting homework. Some women are great at financials and heavy duty DIY, but are terrible cooks. The tasks should be divided according to who is the most capable of doing them, not according to who has what genitals.

And division of labour in the home does matter. Of course if one parent stays at home and doesn't work, the other should do the bulk of the house stuff - but that should never mean that the non working parent doesn't get equal free time at evenings and weekends. That breeds resentment.

There are many right ways of managing a family and a household. And hey, all of them have been tried and tested for decades. Even if they aren't approved by a deity.

This is hilarious. Either @SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItReal is some bored and boring person deliberately being goady. Or they’re resentful and bitter because other mothers shower their children with just as much love and care, and those children grow up just as happy and well adjusted as hers do plus they have mums with good careers and pensions plus a dad who parents rather than just being an ATM

I hope youre also teaching her that she is her own person and doesnt have to bend to the whims of their parents

Oh I have little to do with the church as an institution- they are too afraid to properly teach the word of God these days. My own vicar looked a bit shame faced when I reminded him of the biblical importance of motherhood and did acknowledge that is is indeed ‘a high calling’ (yep, I know), after he of all people questioned me about returning to work. What a hypocrite! What a weak leader of his flock. I absolutely called him out on that.

lol. A quick google of the etymology of the word parent tells me its first recorded use in the English language was in 1425. Hardly ‘faddy’ is it?

You are a mother and a parent - one doesn’t trump the other. You’re not a higher level parent than their father.

My DD and I are extremely close. She absolutely knows I’ve got her back and am there for her. I sincerely hope she is blessed with children and takes proper time to enjoy them and build the same bond we have. Failing that, hopefully myself and my DH will be caring for our GCs to help her should she like to spend time doing other things. Let’s be honest, by the time she has children society will have done it’s absolute best to either price her out of that option or shame her out of wanting to be at home, so thank goodness my DH and I can step up to help her. I fear for her, I really do.

You’ve not actually answered the question…

Which is parenting. I’m not sure what you have against the word, it’s quite bizarre.

There’s zero fuss or bickering here too. We’re adults and don’t need to keep tabs on each other, if something needs doing then it gets done. I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way and our family is also thriving.

Oh and working parents also have close bonds with their children. That’s not exclusive to SAHM.

Fear for her - extreme reaction!

I went back full time after a year, but I was stricter with my work-life balance than I had been before. I’m on mat leave again and if I’m honest I don’t know if I will be going back full time this time.

I went back on 3 days after each child. It worked out best financially in terms of income versus childcare.

I actually found working 3 days harder in many ways than being full time!

now they’re both at school I’m full time again.

Because pp is likely teaching her that women belong at home ‘mothering’ the children.

Indeed. Given the content of their previous posts I can’t imagine she’s presenting a balanced view.

And I do hope you will be equally as respectful should your DD decide she would actually like to be a SAHM, that will be up to her.

I've not got daughters. But I am teaching my sons that they aren't to expect their partner to look after them.

I adore how it’s always the MIL/mother/female nursery workers/female childminder/female au pair/female teachers/female cleaners picking up the slack for working mothers. So it’s OK for those women to do your caring for you, but not OK for an actual mother to care for her own home and children, hmm OK.

So children under these scenarios are still largely raised by guess who…women. But that’s OK because it’s OK for poor women to pick up the slack as long as that frees up middle/upper class women to excel at their Very Important Careers. The class system and divide between rich and poor is certainly thriving in the UK, and it’s a shame Feminists don’t speak up about that a bit more eh?

Oh your sons will know that don’t worry, I only hear women speaking about their husbands with utter disdain and contempt these days. I actually hope my son doesn’t get married.

As a Christian how do you rationalise your judgemental attitude and posts that put working women down?

My husband is awesome.
I’m sorry that you have found yourself surrounded by people in unhappy relationships or married to shit men.

Didn’t answer my question did you? Probably someone who knows full well you’ve benefited from the efforts of poor women. Own your class privilege.

I am personally disgusted by how disdainfully I hear my high earning female friends speaking about their childminders, nursery workers and cleaners. How very Feminist of them.

Who has said it’s not okay to look after your own children?

I didn’t want to be a SAHM. - my choice. My MiL visited more often than my FIL to help over the school holidays as she was a teacher and had more holidays. She was delighted to spend the time with her grandchildren.
DH was brought up by two working parents in the same way as DH and I both brought up our DC’s.