How many hours did you work after going back from maternity leave?

[twoorthreeorfour]

My contract is changing to 3 days, 22.5 hours. I wondered what other people do. If you reduced your hours, at what point did you go full time again?

@SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItRealfor someone that professes to be so attentive to their children because they don't work, you have spent an awful lot of time on here. Who's attending to your kids whilst you rant all day?

😂 great question! 😂 drum roll please…their Dad! He’s off work over the Summer, which is utterly fabulous as our children have both parents attending to them for the entire Summer. Zero stress over childcare, both can have 1:1 time, constant days out, play dates with school friends, family.

Yes actually, even better than being a SAHM is being one with a DH who has the amount of annual leave mine does. Utterly fantastic! So much self inflicted stress and whinging bout shortening the Summer hols- No thanks! Just because it’s hassle for some, others absolutely revel in them. If anyone messes with them I’ll be home schooling, that’s for sure.

3 full days straight after first Maternity Leave, but this was back in the day when Mat Leave was 3 months. So I was still bf, pumping and would have struggled to cope with more. I went back 4 days after the next Mat Leave and then full time when dc2 turned 3. Now I’m approaching retirement, I’m very glad I went back full time when I did. Even the few short years of 3/4 days have knocked a fair bit off my pension so I wouldn’t have wanted to be part time for too much longer. It also made it easier for me to progress in my career once I was back full time

Sounds like you're having some great quality time with the kids and your husband today 🤣 You're a goady plonker at best. Or a boring fart if this is how you've chosen to spend kid free or family time. Wishing you all the best!

DH had plenty to say about how we brought up our children - of high importance to him. I’ve read him a number of the comments on this thread.

Hmm, my DH and DCs are allowed to spend time together without me, we’re big fans of that on here are we not?!

You are correct though in that it is now very boring to continue arguing with people who can’t tolerate difference of opinion. Thankfully I know loads of like minded people IRL.

I will also continue to ensure that any OP who asks such questions hears the full range of opinion, and isn’t just drowned out by the ‘go back to work FT ASAP’ mob on here. We do not have to agree that’s best.

Good day to you too!

I'm not sure you realise just how patronising you sound!
Both me and DH work full time but in jobs with very generous annual leave and a huge amount of flexibility.
There is zero stress about childcare here, we love the long summer holidays!
You've decided the life of a working mum is full of stress and never seeing their kids when that is not always the case.

.7 of a week so 3 1/2 days

You are correct though in that it is now very boring to continue arguing with people who can’t tolerate difference of opinion.

You are literally the only person on this thread who can't tolerate a difference of opinion.

They're perfectly aware of how patronising they are... trying to cover it with 'difference of opinion '

Its just coming across as sneery

It really is. Every post is just dripping with judgement.

I liked that the more senior I got, the greater flexibility I had. Also my Mil was a teacher and more than happy to fly over to support during school holidays or take DT’s back with her for a few weeks.

My mother showered her kids in keeping a roof over their heads and feeding them, often without the help of my father.

Women who work are not starving their kids of affection, they’re teaching the value of standing on your own two financial feet, and fulfilling your responsibility to your kids to keep them housed, safe and fed.

There are also women (🙋🏻‍♀️) who want a life outside the home, and some purpose beyond parenting.

Why wouldn’t he have much say on the matter?

DH is just as involved with parenting as I am because parenting isn’t just my job or responsibility.

I disagree with the term ‘parenting’. I refuse to use it and cross it out it on forms. I’m a mother, I mother and nurture my children. I’m extremely comfortable leading my home and children. My DH is a father, he fathers his children. He is extremely comfortable with leading on the finances. We don’t do a mish mash of everyone trying to do a bit of everything. Like the most successful workplaces a family thrives when everybody has clear roles and responsibilities to excel at. Too many cooks spoil the broth. Zero fuss or bickering about who’s doing what, maximum harmony for all. I couldn’t think of anything more tedious than keeping tabs on how often who did the washing or drove our kids somewhere so everything is fair, how dull.

We’ll have to agree to disagree. You are free to organise your family how your like, and so are we. We prefer the classic, tried and tested way to the new modern way.

DH and I are in our mid 50’s and brought our DT’s up in a very similar way to how our parents brought us up so hardly the modern way.

You're parenting. The end.

@SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItRealyour sweeping assumptions and refusal to acknowledge any positives of an alternative parenting style really undermines your argument.
Your descriptions of ‘modern parenting’ just don’t chime with my experiences.

Cause ancient people really knew it all lolololo

This has actually gotten super funny. Thanks for the laughs!

For what it’s worth, my grandmothers and great grandmother’s worked. My mother was the outlier and the only one for as many generations as we knew of to not have a job. So I guess I’m just doing what my ancestor’s showed me!

@SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItReal do you have daughters?

Exactly! The concept of one parent being at home purely to look after children is quite a recent concept. Women throughout history have worked.

I read a lot of odd posts on MN, but thought this one took the biscuit.

But then I went on and read the next 6 pages and you have excelled yourself SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItRea

The "in line with the word of God" nonsense really doesn't help your case - and that's coming from a church attending, card carrying, practising Christian.

The sneery judgement of others is doing your argument no good at all.
Most people on this thread were happy just to answer the question in the OP, and accept that we all have different circumstances and we should all do whatever is best for ourselves and our families, given those circumstances.

Yes, and my daughter is absolutely being brought up to hear something different to the current governmental brainwashing of have a baby then hand it over to others. She will absolutely know that she has every right to raise her babies herself, that she is more than capable and doesn’t need to rely on others to do what she best can for her own children.

Nope, I’m mothering. Stop trying to force your faddy, gender-neutral language on others.

What’s this government brainwashing??