How did your body hold on to trauma ??

[hellohellooo]

I think mine was most likely brain fog

Lethargy

(Binge eating too) !!!

Gosh that's so hard

Yes I also agree re the jaw tension

Why is that I wonder?

I start grinding and making odd jaw movements when I feel at risk

@Delatron I believe the same about myself. Horrendous marriage, followed by another devastating relationship…I’m sure it was linked to my cancer diagnosis, too…

I had some devastating news in 2019 and for a while I worried I had had a stroke. Weakness in my arms and feared picking up anything fragile in case my strength gave way. It’s taken a while to get back to my usual self - honestly I never recognised how closely our minds and bodies are before this happened.

I had some devastating news in 2019 and for a while I worried I had had a stroke. Weakness in my arms and feared picking up anything fragile in case my strength gave way. It’s taken a while to get back to my usual self - honestly I never recognised how closely our minds and bodies are before this happened.

Addictions. Stopped drugs and drink, started eating.

Trichotillomania.

I can't stand anyone touching my head or my face.

Dissociation.

So sorry to read these

The abuser seems to walk away Scot free

Psoriasis

It was offered at the start . At the end I just wanted to forgoet about it, but reflecting back I think counselling would have been a good idea.
However I have got a 25 year exemption on jury service so won't be picked again anytime soon!

I have two adopted children and in the adoption world we have been looking at how to help people with trauma stuck in the body for about the last 25 years.

I have seen both Bruce Perry and Bessel van der Kalk speak at conferences.

The general advice seems to be that talking therapy helps if you have a therapist who makes you feel safe and contained - it doesnt matter what kind of therapy or if you like the therapist or enjoy it - it's the feeling of being safe/seen/hrld that matters.

But really you need somatic work too, which is where the body based stuff comes in.

EMDR is strongly recommended.

Also horse riding, dancing, movement in general, and drumming. They were always very keen on drumming.

I started doing tai chi and it was really wierd, but in the early days, when I did a move, I would get a flash of memory come flying up. Now, these weren't horrible memories - more like photographs from holidays. But it was like the specific movement released a memory. So you do have to be careful.

This is fascinating

Thank you !!!!!!

This absolutely can. So sorry. How awful.

So glad you said this

Yes it has def been triggering

Wow!!!!!

I dread being called for jury duty as I could not cope with the trauma

Extreme fatigue and heaviness in my body. I remember finding it hard to wash my hair because of the need to lift my arms to my head. I have always been an avid reader but found I could no longer read more than a page at most because my concentration was totally shot. I still struggle with the latter but it has improved thankfully. I think what lingers is my body holding onto tension in my muscles as I get a lot of aches and pains for my 35 years! Ditto migraines. I have also had to have a special splint made to wear at night because of chronic bruxism that meant waking up every morning with intense jaw pain and headaches. I am also struggling with infertility and wonder if my past trauma has played a part there too… my ovarian reserve is lower than average for my age group in any case. Fun and games ay?

I want to try this (and have heard similar about reflexology) but am too scared of the vulnerability!

They're used to it, believe me!

The scariest thing is the neck crack but boy is it a lovely feeling once it's done!

If you're a headache person, especially one that carries tension in your neck & shoulders, a good cracking works wonders.

I was going to ask the same. I had this almost constantly in the last few years of my abusive marriage. It’s gone since I left but has come back recently as I am going through a very stressful time.

Post trauma I also developed:

hiatus hernia
Osteoarthritis
anxiety
depression
shoulder/neck pain
disturbed sleep
nightmares
hypervigilance
memory loss/brain fog/inability to retain information
rapid heartbeat

I have been diagnosed with cPTSD.

I miss the old me.

I would really recommend reading 3 books

The body keeps the score

When the body says no

the myth of normal

hard reads at times, but SO good for anyone with trauma.

ME/CFS
IBS
A ridiculous startle reflex, my husband will walk into the room I'm in and it'll make me jump
Feeling a bit lost when I'm not grinding through a shit time. That's the weirdest one.

Missing memory

I had a traumatic birth with DS. There were periods that I could not recall but I still felt the terror. When he was 3 months old I was diagnosed with cancer so it all got buried. It was only a year or so later when I finally looked at hospital photos and attended a birth debrief that I began to remember. It took months before it finally came back. It's the first time I've ever lost memory of events.

I do tend to disassociate from things now I think as a result. Almost like outer body. Things give me massive anxiety like my heart is racing and I can't physically sit still.

I have experienced a number of traumatic events especially in my childhood. I have just phoned in sick to work for tomorrow as I think I have reached my limit anxiety-wise. Generally I suffer with
hyper vigilance
terrible health anxiety
sleep problems
eating disorder
I don’t cry about anything
I feel like something will go wrong when things are going well.
I worry that I will die suddenly and leave my kids

I’m glad I found this thread; I am usually brilliant at masking all of this, no one in real life would really know this stuff, but I am struggling to keep a lid on it this week.

Chronic migraine, vestibular dysfunction, inflammatory bowel disease.

If you're Autistic ( looking at your username), there's an incredibly high genetic link with Neurodivergence to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome ( hyper mobility type). I have EDS. It leads to lots of weird issues. I believe this is the underpin for many with ME.

I'll bet my bottom dollar this is what you have, not the FND part. ( They do often tell EDS peeps they have FND,). It might be worth having a think to see if it could apply in your case.

I have EDS and unfortunately developed multiple life changing, devastating autoimmune diseases. Alot of trauma, messed up childhood.

Go gentle on yourself tomorrow

What are your plans?

Panic attacks, also the hyper vigilance! Extreme fatigue.