How did your body hold on to trauma ??

[hellohellooo]

I think mine was most likely brain fog

Lethargy

(Binge eating too) !!!

PTSD, derealisation, CFS/ME, extreme panic disorder, OCD, Social anxiety and agoraphobia

Anxiety with PTSD and OCD symptoms. Issues with food. Exhausting hyper vigilance. Sensory issues. Sleep issues. Funnily enough I was watching my daughter sleep like a starfish and thinking how I love that she feels safe to sleep. I don't know if I've ever had a really, really good night's sleep in my life and I definitely don't sleep in abandon like a starfish, I sleep curled up in myself, always tense, doing that t rex hand thing. Constantly on guard.

If we're including not just physical things I should add CPTSD, crippling anxiety (general and especially social), dissociation, difficulty trusting people, terrible trouble asking for help, lack of self-esteem, deep shame about perfectly normal things. Freezing; gaps in my memory; trouble recognising people who should be familiar because looking at their faces/risking eye contact is scary.

Also: grinding my teeth, childhood eczema, sensory issues around food.

Running helps on days when I'm brave enough to go out and be seen running.

An awful relationship with food - I have to be extremely conscious all the time of making sure I’m eating regularly enough to maintain a healthy weight. When I feel negative emotions or stress, the first thing to disappear is my appetite.
I also vomit as a stress response. That’s totally unrelated to the food issues - it’s absolutely not bulimia, it more like I feel all of my stress in my gut 🤷🏻‍♀️ That started during a very dark time in my life when my DS had some severe health issues, resulting in us almost losing him. I’d have horrendous flashback nightmares where I’d wake up sweating, hyperventilating and would ultimately vomit. That just seems to have stuck around as a response to stress.

Autoimmune conditions, anxiety, low self confidence and imposter syndrome, chronic teeth grinding (including biting the inside of my cheeks), flinching/ jumping and/or shrieking if something passes me unexpectedly or someone moves suddenly near me.
Binge eating.

Chronic tense shoulders, autoimmune conditions, I can’t cry and hyper vigilance. I’m also a massive people pleaser and have a tendency to make light of serious situations to look like I’m coping when I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I also have severe hair loss brought on by the autoimmune conditions and am sporting a combover at present!

I think you're the only other person I've encountered who's had non epileptic attack disorder! I had it for a period during my teens (during the trauma. It was absolutely terrifying at the time.
Since then, a weird and wonderful range of autoimmune disorders, plus osteoarthritis. Oh, and years of eating my feelings has left me very overweight
Since having EMDR, things have definitely improved.

Trauma un chilhood: binge eating, addictions, nail biting, numbness
Trauma in adulthood: inexplicable weight loss (20% of body weight in two weeks), bruxism (waking up with tooth pieces missing), face scratching

And what I'm left with decades later: anxiety insomnia, ocd, hypervigilance, migraines, neck pain, upper back pain, leg pain, brain fog, autoimmune disorders, etc. They all feed into each other 😬

Vaginismus. I felt fine emotionally, but my body was shut down and I couldn't override it. Very odd.

Inflammation in my body, auto immune issues and IBS

I experienced a lot of trauma childhood and teenage years and then in adult life (assault, toxic workplaces).

It resulted in chronic fatigue, dissociating, PTSD, depression, hair loss (from the age of about 13) suicidal thoughts, nightmares, jaw pain and teeth grinding, anxiety causing chest pains, vaginismus, inability to form/or bad choices with relationships, auto immune conditions...

Therapy and anti-depressants have helped and also making huge changes in my life like moving out of London to a small seaside town for a less frantic pace of life and cutting toxic people out of my life.

Also things like exercising regularly and meditation keep me going.

The last piece in the jigsaw is being in the process of leaving my toxic workplace.

The Body Keeps the Score is such a great book to understand how the body and mind are linked and how trauma affects both. Highly recommended.

So similar to me

Also

When a man says something rude in my vicinity I will erupt

The other day this idiot said something to a young mum who was trying to pack her bags at a til with small kids I stopped and argued back with him

Was such a people pleaser before

Now I'm zero tolerance

Have the body holds the score in audio form

Wow !!!!!

I have buried so much

Highly recommend it
(Got a free trial on audible)

Does it give practical suggestions of what to do to ease the issues or does it just walk through the problems that arise?

@ocelot3
Yes so far some
Not many

Half way through

My god the section on the lack of direction in life

Totally resonates

Also

Anyone else with tips that help them please share

Mindfulness (mbsr) been great for me so far

I think the takeaway for me from the book is to understand how much of an impact stress and trauma has on the body. So be kind to yourself. Prioritise reducing stress and activities that reduce stress. So meditation, lots of sleep, exercise, diet..

It may even mean a big life change- so switching jobs to a less stressful job. Also saying no more..

Though obviously some trauma and stress can’t be avoided. It’s the understanding it will have a profound impact on your health.

Insomnia
irritable bowel
A general feeling of needing to be alert
Hair Stroking/twiddling but in a really obsessive way that causes hair issues

X10000

Absolutely

Over eating. Put 3 stone on in 6 months and headaches. Still struggle with my weight now and my trauma was many, many years ago.

Was also diagnosed with PTSD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Depression.

Find a good somatic therapist, OP. It’s incredibly difficult, and I often come out of a session feeling as if I’ve run a marathon or survived a bout with a boxing champion, but I’ve found it transformative.

I have all of @GhostInTheWashingMachine’s issues (hi there, we appear to be twins!) plus a huge amount of tension in my lower jaw to the extent that I have serious problems with a clicking, sticking jaw and have had surgery suggested. But which I can’t do for the same reason I have to knock myself out with pills for a dental checkup, why I can’t go to the hairdresser or have a massage, and have never had a smear test.

Depression anxiety and jaw clenching.

Same !!!!!

@NotCrazyAboutIt will look one up now

Got to be done

I think I'm worried about how hard it will be
So I just need to get on with it

The list is long. CFS, MCAS, fibromyalgia, IBS, CIRS, poor romantic relationships/attachment, jaw tension, perfectionism, worrying, rumination.

Thankfully found a great community, and highly recommend Primal Trust course for down regulation of the nervous system. Teaching the skills to bring your body back to a calm healing state.