The Mumsnet Code

[ChippySauce]

Friend popped around earlier unexpectedly, without giving me 3 weeks warning 😮

AND DC11 let them in 😱

What is the world coming to I ask you!
Does nobody adhere to “The Mumsnet Code” anymore?
Whatever next, will we be advising each other to Keep The Bastard?!

I despair, I really do…

What violations of TMC has occurred in your life recently?

I sometimes drink more than half a cherry at Christmas and didn’t check myself into rehab!

Both 🫣

I am a size 14, and despite regularly causing a solar eclipse when I bend down, I do still leave the house.

Strangely, I also manage to wear size 14 clothes I’ve had for years - they haven’t miraculously shrunk to size 10s.

I eat three really nice meals a day. Plus snacks. I know. Catch me on a documentary soon, being hosed down until the tide comes in.

I have two toilet brushes. One for the bathroom upstairs and one for the toilet downstairs. I use them too.

I also use bleach. None of this eco bollocks in this house.

I smoke like a train
I swear like a sailor
I earn under 30 grand a year
I love my dil and she loves me
I only wash my towels once a week
I love bleach
I love watching tv
I hate answering the door usually because I'm too busy smoking and watching tv

I have a close loving relationship with my grandchildren and see them often without ever having provided any 'childcare' while their parents work.

My children have never assumed that now I'm retired I do fuck all all day
and am there at their beck and call.

I don’t wear cotton knickers.

I served my kids cereal and milk for breakfast.
I left the bastard without getting my ducks in a row.

Oh no, is that a violation of the code? Asking for a friend. 🫣

My family share towels and they are only washed once a week. (The towels, not the family.) They hang quite near the toilet brush (again, I’m talking about the towels.)

And we wear shoes indoors.

I open the front door when someone knocks. Every time! 😬

It's the teachers fault

😂🤣🤣

I sometimes see my son without his girlfriend and we are all happy about the arrangement.

I did my husbands laundry without complaining and then still had sex with him when I wasn’t really in the mood, again with no complaining. The horror.

I bottle-fed my babies because I didn't want to breastfeed and started to wean them at 4 months old.

I never asked my children what they wanted for dinner.

As a parent, I regularly I used the word 'no'.

When eating out, my children never left the table to wander around (same at home).

I hate cooking.

I didn't have a shower today, and have no intention of having one until tomorrow.
I've had a cold and have been living off ready meals and takeaways and tonight I'm having sausages.
I don't think I've washed my towels for a couple of weeks, and can't remember when I changed the bedding.
I let the neighbour's cat sleep on my bed.
The same cat has shredded paper on the floor - it will probably stay there until I can be bothered hoovering - which might not be until the weekend.
My neighbour rang my doorbell without sending me a text 10 hours beforehand to warn me - and I let her in!!!!
I've spoken to several complete strangers while out walking.
I never leave my loo seat down for flushing purposes.

Leaving shortly to drop the kids off at Full time nursery

I actually open the door if someone knocks.
Even if I'm not expecting anyone......

I have a favourite fabric conditioner, use way too much of it, and don't care if others can smell it on my clothing

Oh, and I used to correspond with my MIL to arrange family get-togethers. I wanted to see them too, it wasn't a chore or wife work. She's dead now...

I’m not married and we don’t have a joint account 🫣

I buy ready prepared vegetables and fruit and even grated cheese and bags of sliced onions!

That's nothing. I PREFER to be only invited to the evening do. Because I think its the best bit. I also couldn't care less about the food at the day do, because (are you ready for this...?) I know I wont expire if the couple have selfishly overlooked that I don't eat chicken. I can manage from 11am to 3pm without eating, can entertain myself and my DC while the photos are on, dont care if im not at my preferred table, and dont begrudge £42 for a travel lodge because the bride lives in Whitby and I live in West Brom.

I eat white bread.

It has so many preservatives it’s still fresh as a daisy seven days later!

I slather butter and WI strawberry Jam all over it, there is a place in heaven for said moments, and I even let my children nibble at them too…

I will see myself out 😄

You’re my twin!