Stop the world want to get off

[Flashofpast]

Life is shit . Even the good bits have a sprinkle of poop on it. Years and years of shit from childhood right till present. Kidding myself when I pretend its all ok. Yaaay life. what bullshit. Even a unicorn would not want to sparkle shit on my shit.

Past comments "poor kids" "chaotic" "bad parent" totally agree just couldn't see it at the time.

Im glad you have been able to find happy times. And make them count. Its important to have good times.

Hi OP
I also experienced significant trauma as a child and it has ruined my life. I'm nearing 40 and only now reaching out for counciling support. It's really awful feeling like your exsisting rather than living and I'm terrified of the cycle continuing with my children who are younger than yours but my oldest has SEN and is in a special school for children with behavioural needs. I see her life going the same way as mine so my only purpose now is to try to break the cycle. My mum was a victim of DV and raised me and my siblings in chaos but although I am so angry with her she is almost 60 and her life is not chaotic, she is happy and living life. I think it goes two ways time is either a healer with the right support or we go completely off the rails and ruin our life further. Keep trying to keep your head above water. You are not alone xx

💐

Im going to stop posting now. Im sorry for wasting everyone's time . But thank you for taking your time to post.

@Flashofpast you haven’t wasted anybody’s time at all.
We are all here if you wish to return - I’d be really glad if you did!!

Im sorry I needed to step away for a bit yesterday

When I had my first bit of counselling I thought it was about my work situation. I can't remember the counsellor's first words but to my great surprise I started at my childhood, which wasn't as traumatic as yours sounds, OP.

For the last two days you've typed out your feelings and thoughts and if you don't feel a need to today, aok.

Thats why I feek a bit against trying it. Incase there's not time lessons cone to am end and im still stuck.

I had to stop talking because I was almost saying stuff I should not.

Another day almost done.

I keep reading horrible things about myself online I don't even know why I looked.

What do you mean, where?

?

I decided it was best not to say . I don't want to make things worse

You do realise that when you edit the post is still visible.

So you can see more than a force stop ?

I feel like that sometimes, I try to do all the right things but something always goes wrong for me. I just can't get any traction in life no matter how hard I try. My feet always step on the banana skins of life.

Yeah

I dont think that's true

Oh 😔

I have been awake for over 24hrs .