Transgender 4 year old wanting to join girls only group

[Helpwithdivorce]

So I’ll preface this by saying im very much a live your life however you please as long as you’re not hurting anybody kind of person. However I run a group, which is just for girls aged 4-7.

I’ve had a request from a parent for their child to join. The child is 4 and the parent said they are transgender. Now here is my predicament, which may be rightly or wrongly.

Firstly I feel like this mother is just out to cause drama, there are other very similar mixed gender groups, there is no reason this child needs to join a group only for girls.

Secondly I simply do not believe that a 3/4 year old child knows that they are transgender. I feel this is being peddled by the mother, again feeding the drama.

What would you do? I really don’t want this mother in my group, but the group is ‘inclusive’ so I can’t say no you can’t join.
Currently I’ve just ignored the request.

You might risk bad publicity/attracting attention of sex based rights groups in light of the recent judgement if existing female members feel alienated by the boy's inclusion.

I think you need to take a stand.

I left guiding because of this after many years as a leader

@LizzieLazzie that word salad doesn't even make any sense?

What have we done to ourselves.

Surely as awful as that is, it's old guidance??

Oh for gods sake! The mother is nuts, and wouldn't want them part of the group for that reason alone. She will be out to cause trouble.. also I would remove my child if I had one in your group, I wouldn't want thales to be subjected to that ridiculousness

Re munchausen, definitely.

In what world can a 4 year old conceptualise their own sex and work out they want to change.
At 5 my dd wanted to be a cat called beauty , at 6 a boy called Charlie

What lizzy posted is jaw dropping

Performance parenting at its best!

the Law is on your side

These are young girls who want to be in a safe girls only space

The possibly worse thing is that they also admit male Guide leaders who call themselves women.

Like Monica Sulley.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10235539/Girlguides-launch-probe-trans-Commissioner-58-saucy-dominatrix-style-picture.html

What does she feel her son will gain from rainbows that he won't gain from Squirrels, the boys version?

Id just put him on the waiting list and never contact her.

R/B/GRG - Rainbows/ brownies/guides/ranger guides
AFAB - female at birth
AMAB - male at birth (ie original sex, no changes). Also known as cis-gender.

GG - Girguiding,

But I’m assuming you realised most of ‘em?

I agree I know my dgc at primary school have been told by their parents not to get involved in these transgender issues at school.
4 is far to young to be told he’s transgender.
maybe the mother wanted a girl and is forcing transgender onto the child.ridiculous

Of course the Supreme Court ruling changes things. You now know that if you admit him you are in breach of the law. Girl Guiding is run by activists who are determined to break the law, but their policy is now clearly a breach of the law. Their policy does not supersede the law of the land and the law is that admitting a boy to the group, even one identified as trans, is a breach of the legal rights of every single girl in the group.

The harm is in validating the mother's bonkers idea that a four year old is transgender. The trans nonsense needs to be firmly squashed whenever and wherever it arises.

@ArabellaScott I heard about Monica Sulley and it really worried me. If men are allowed as leaders (whether transitioning or self declared women) there could be safeguarding issues. Not all men will have the best interests of the girls at heart.

Why isnt thomas joining the beavers if hes a 'boy' ,

I also don’t believe parents should be pushing this on their children. But honestly, think about it! Why would a parent do that? As the grandmother of an 11 year old who has lived life since the age of four as someone of the opposite gender and who has been given the choice to revert at any time and has never deviated from their “choice “, I can say that a four year old may not understand the implications, but he/she will definitely know what feels right for them.
You stated that the mother wants to cause drama but give no reason for that belief. If my grandchild at four wanted to join a single sex group it would have been because he/she felt that was where they belonged. When I was a child I was in the Brownies. If someone told me that I couldn’t, I had to join the Cubs, I would have been very upset and refused.
Have you discussed the trans issue with the mother, so you have an insight into what is happening to this child, or have you just listened to gossip about a mother who appears to want to cause drama but actually has just been trying to cope with a very difficult situation where everywhere she turns in trying to support her child, she is met with opposition? The only thing that worries me in her case is that she hasn’t changed the child’s name to something that is more feminine or neutral. Having a little girl in a group with a boy’s name would be drawing attention to the child.
My grandchild chose another name after initially wanting to keep the original one. After a gentle explanation they changed it and I would defy anyone to pick out that child as transgender. It’s not an issue. Puberty will change all that of course, and will bring its own challenges but these will be dealt with as they happen.
I feel upset that so many people still seem bigoted and willing to judge, without actually knowing all the facts.

The website hasn’t been updated in light of the Supreme court ruling.

I highly doubt that a four year old would have any idea what you’re talking about!

Ummmm...
That's the Scouts.
It was me that was expelled and then invited to rejoin. See my earlier posts on this thread.

It's not bigotry to know that you can't change sex.
It's not bigotry to know that adults shouldn't lie to children that they're really the opposite sex.
It's cruel and unkind behaviour that's doing immense harm to children far too young to get involved in what is an adult issue.
Parents talk regularly about how their toddlers / young children believe they're dogs, horses, astronauts, dinosaurs and all the rest. Responsible adults "play along" with the fantasy as these are children, but they don't start feeding the child dog food or hay, or assume they can space walk out of upstairs windows.

I've posted this upthread but here it is again - written by a clinical psychologist - the psychological damage being done to primary children when their trusted adults lie to them about what sex they really are:

www.transgendertrend.com/childhood-social-transition/

Yes, and if only people would realize that if you are a transgirl or a transwoman, by definition, you are male.

All trans women are men because a defining characteristic of them is that you have to be a man.

I can't be a transwoman because i'm not a biological man.

It isn't bigotry it's basic common sense and biology.

It works both ways. I could be a transman. That's because i'm a woman biologically. All trans men are women because the defining characteristic of a transman is that you have to be a biological woman in order to be a transman.

That's such a shame. Girl Guides was the making of me when I was a teen. I don't know where I would have been without it.

I didn't even realise rainbows was still for girls only. Scouts opened up to girls as well as boys didn't it?
I can understand teenagers and adults wanting single sex groups but does it really matter at such a young age?

He won't be the centre of attention.