How much is standard to give for a wedding?

[Noisecomplaint]

I have to attend a wedding of a friend. We’ve known each other a long time, since primary school. See eachother a few times a year while socialising in a large group but also chat regularly.

Im skint! The wedding is also in the middle of the 6 weeks holidays which always drains every penny.

How much is the going rate for a wedding gift? Do I put in cash and if so how much?

Dont want to look like the friendship group cheapskate but at the same time its not money i have spare.

Any budget ideas that dont look like I haven’t tried?

Put £30 in a card or something.

Order a nice card online, something unique and tailored to them. You can get these very cheap and the card/effort will get more noticed than any gift you give.

Remember they'll be opening loads of these.

If you don’t want them to know how much exactly you’ve spent then don’t put in cash. Instead, why don’t you buy something like a really nice recipe book which is something they can both enjoy together.

It's £100

£50 is what you spend on your mate every year by the time you've got a card, flowers/wine and a meal out! Money doesn't go very far these days.

Weddings are special, once in a lifetime occasions.

Thanks all. I would struggle to do £100.

Would a nice gift and card be okay? What type of things would be best? I’m rubbish at this.

Omg l have never spent £50 on a mate!

Could you stretch to £40 op?
Or buy a gift that looks expensive - nice vase or something?

We give £100 although the last one we went to was over 5 years ago now so we'd probably add more these days.

It's absolutely fine. Anyone who judges you for what you've spent on a present isn't a real friend anyway.

Weddings can be expensive to attend. There is no rule about how much to spend other than what you can afford and what you want to spend.

Whether it’s just you or you and a plus one makes a difference imo. Just you, I’d say £50 is plenty and I would not bother with any sort of gift or ornament as it will probably just be a waste of money. Also, i always think of these things from my perspective. DH and I opening cards and money would not judge or think about the amounts but just be pleased you came and spent the day with us. Just doing and preparing for that is costly enough.

If she’s judging you based on your gift then she wouldn’t be much of a friend. Do not spend more than you can afford, even if it’s a bottle of fizz and card, that’s fine. Shameful the posters saying “it’s £100” when you’ve explained you have no spare cash.

Exactly that Countryqueen.

Hi OP, I always find on these threads that MNetters give much more as wedding gifts than is normal in my circle.

If the couple haven't shared any details of what they want then cash in a card is fine. Or perhaps a John Lewis voucher or similar? I think £30-50 is a nice amount if you can manage it. Or perhaps a bottle of fizz at a price point that works for your budget?

Honestly don't worry about this, some money or a voucher to what you can afford (£30/£50) is more than fine. The couple will be opening so many cards, they won't even notice. I also think a card and a nice bottle of prosecco is also a really nice gift.

I think the rule of thumb is £50 per person attending the wedding.

Poopeepoopee · Today 07:35

It's £100

⬆️ this is incorrect, it’s not anything other than what you decide it to be. There’s no golden rule that it’s £100. If that poster gives £100 for a wedding that’s their choice but it doesn’t mean just because they do everyone else has to. A nice gift and card would be ok, they haven’t invited you for a present they’ve invited you because they want you there. Don’t skint yourself!

There is no rule of thumb. Nobody should be feeling any pressure thinking that there is

Whatever the rule of thumb is, I can’t imagine that any bride and groom would want their friends to go into debt, or be strapped for cash for basics, because they observed the notion that you have to give a certain amount.

Just give what you are able, that doesn’t compromise your own outgoings.

Go with a gift if you’re skint, they don’t need to know how much you spent.

how can you find out what is standard?
people have different wages

It depends on the relationship if its people that really love you and you them then what would they care. Give what you can afford. DH likes to give an amount depending on how much he has enjoyed the wedding so wait's til after the day is done.

No, it isn't. There is no standard. Because everyone's budgets and circumstances are different. I have rarely spent £50 on a mate's birthday, but have easily spent that on a random occasion when someone is having a tough time and needs cheering up.

This is where the now seemingly old fashioned gift list was useful. A range of items from a couple of quid to a couple of hundred and people can cut their cloth according to their budget.

@Noisecomplaint you have been invited because you are a friend, not because you are paying to be there. Give what you can afford or a nice gift. Presence not presents etc.

I got a teapot as a wedding gift and a cheeseboard and knives set I really liked. Maybe something along those lines.

Give what you can reasonably afford. If I invite a friend to my wedding I'd rather receive no gift and have their presence than a friend skinting themself to give the "required amount."

I want you to share my happy day, not pay £100 entrance fee. Your friend will understand. The best wedding gift I've ever seen was a watercolour print from Etsy of the wedding venue, with the date and bride/groom's names underneath. It was only around A4 but in a frame it looked beautiful.

Why not get a gift card that covers many places as they could use it to go for a meal with other cards they may well get. The amount could be for £20 as it sounds as though it is a time of financial pressure for you.

If you’re really can’t afford to give cash, I would raid TK Maxx for some designer homeware items. That way it appears higher value but also a joint present as it is for the home.

You could always give them a card and a gift for the future eg I ordered you X it will arrive on 2 months.