How much is standard to give for a wedding?

[Noisecomplaint]

I have to attend a wedding of a friend. We’ve known each other a long time, since primary school. See eachother a few times a year while socialising in a large group but also chat regularly.

Im skint! The wedding is also in the middle of the 6 weeks holidays which always drains every penny.

How much is the going rate for a wedding gift? Do I put in cash and if so how much?

Dont want to look like the friendship group cheapskate but at the same time its not money i have spare.

Any budget ideas that dont look like I haven’t tried?

I've never spent £50 on a mate ever!

You spend what you can afford. End of.

The standard for weddings in our circle is £100, more if a close friend/family.

traditionally it was that you would try to cover the cost of your meal. So if you are daytime guests probably £50per person?

Hands off this one and hand it over to him to work out.

This is so variable depending on your social circle and who your friends are.

We had plenty of people attend our wedding and only give us a card, and that was lovely and absolutely fine for us.

Lots gave money too, varying from about £20 to £100/£150. The £100+ money gifts were only from closer family and long standing friends (and they would have all had it to spare - I don't think anyone overstretched themselves, at least I hope they didn't).

I can imagine some people being a bit put out by no gift/ a very small cash gift, so it depends a bit on who's getting married and what they are like.

Do you think they'll be offended if you didn't give them a big cash gift?

We genuinely wouldn't have cared either way but in your position I'd think about what kind of people they are as I wouldn't want to offend.

It has never, ever been "traditional" to cover the cost of the meal. You're a guest.
It was traditional to buy something from a wedding list for a couple starting out in married life, but times have changed, so that's why it's often a cash gift now.

It's not traditional at all. This is a very new and nonsensical idea.

Agreed!

Our daytime guests were £80+ a head - I would have been mortified if everyone thought they had to give us that much cash.

Can you imagine?! Similarly, my friend had very limited budget and provided a buffet made by herself and her mum. Should we all have given only £10?!

If a bride/groom was offended because I didn't give the amount of money they expected from me, I would never speak to them again. Hate greedy entitled people.

See I think the opposite these days. Everyone is generally set up household wise and don’t need more ‘stuff’. I would much prefer consumables which are usually more of an indulgent treat. Depends on the couple I guess.

There is no standard amount, it is whatever you feel you want to, or can afford.
I think the recipe book suggested by a PP would be a nice idea, especially if they have a favourite holiday/honeymoon destination, the recipes could be linked to there.

Exactly the same as this!

Are they candle kinda people? (I can't stand them but know lots of people do like them, especially posh ones).

For me it would be £30 for a friend/distant relative, £50 for a close friend or relative and more for my immediate family eg sibling.

I would give 50 £ per person attending. So 100£ if it's you and your dh. But since you have to pay hotel as well a photoframe/ candle with a nice card would be fine.

What rubbish.

It's whatever gesture you can afford.

When I got married recently we didn't mention gifts or money anywhere on our invites however most people gave £50 per couple, some gave more, up to £100 and a few got actual presents, all of which were not expected but gratefully received

This ⬆️ exactly

We give £100 as a comfortable couple in our fifties.

I think my late 20s/ early 30s kids give £50 as a couple.

If you are single and skint why don’t you buy them a thoughtful and fun gift like a classic game. They’ll have it forever. Eg, Scrabble, Monopoly or a nice wooden travel backgammon set if you can afford that?

Agree £30-50 is fine for one person, and if you don't want to give cash a John Lewis (if they have one nearby) and if not m&s voucher is fine, even if they don't want to buy anything they can spend it on nice food

If youve known them that long I'm sure they'll appreciate a nice message in a card. In a year or two nobody will remember who gave what!

Our most used, and my most favourite, wedding gift that we received was a pair of coasters with the year we got married on (generic year ones - not personalised date).

We received bottles of bubbly (which we drank and have since forgotten) and glasses we never use (posh glasses for posh occasions which never happen so languishing at the back of the cupboard) but the coasters we use all the time, daily. We used them when we drank the bubbly in the posh glasses, and we use them for our mismatched tea mugs at the weekend. I can tell you who gave them to us, the message that came with them and the countless times they make me smile.

The probably cost about a tenner, tops, for the pair.

Something like that perhaps?

It is unimportant how much you give. They want to see you there to witness their marriage.

When I was a student, my go to was a card and an M & S picture frame. Then a card with £20, now we can afford to splurge, so it is usual to put £100 each in the honeymoon fund.

But I remember from our wedding (25 years ago) we got a beautiful, coffee table centerpiece/fruit bowl that we still use, a jokey chef timer for the kitchen that we still use and a teapot and salt/pepper pots that are in daily use.
We didn't have a wedding list, didn't expect gifts as we had lived together a year, but we value every single thing for the love it was given with.

I can’t believe people say the amount is dependent upon whether you are a day or evening guest and how many of you attend. Your friends are not paying for meals in the expectation of getting the money back in gifts! You are invited because they want you to share their day. As others have said the traditional wedding lists were good with items from the very inexpensive to incredibly generous but all items that were wanted. These days most people already have their household goods. A lovely candle would be enjoyed I’m sure. Many years ago we were given a beautiful personalised embroidered wedding card which was also the wedding gift, and which we have kept.

There is no rule of thumb that it should be £50 per person. It might be your rule of thumb but it’s certainly not what everyone estimates it should be

A few years ago we went to a wedding overseas (where the couple lived). So we had to pay for airfares and two nights of accommodation. All grand, more than happy to do so. One of DH’s friends sorted out a joint gift from them, us and another friend also travelling. Usually I’d take control of this as DH is rubbish at it so I was happy for someone else to to lead. I soon regretted stepping back and leaving it to the men when DH got a message saying that we owed them £150. His friend bought £450 worth of vouchers for a very nice department store!!!! This is for a couple who had lived together for years, well set up at home and with really good jobs.
We could afford it, thankfully, but the friend that sorted it out earns more than twice what DH earns and just hadn’t considered that maybe, because we’d spent a fortune on actually being at the wedding, it was acceptable for our gift to be slightly less generous to offset those costs.

OP give what you can afford. No more. I agree with those who have suggested something lovely from
TK Maxx home section or something personalised from Etsy.