How much is standard to give for a wedding?

[Noisecomplaint]

I have to attend a wedding of a friend. We’ve known each other a long time, since primary school. See eachother a few times a year while socialising in a large group but also chat regularly.

Im skint! The wedding is also in the middle of the 6 weeks holidays which always drains every penny.

How much is the going rate for a wedding gift? Do I put in cash and if so how much?

Dont want to look like the friendship group cheapskate but at the same time its not money i have spare.

Any budget ideas that dont look like I haven’t tried?

That's such a nice idea. Something personal is lovely.
I would agree that there's no "standard". Giving what you can't afford is foolish. Celebrate with them, give them your love and best wishes, and don't worry if your gift doesn't seem "generous".
Side note; quite a few weddings I've attended have ended in divorce, so it's hardly "once in a lifetime" for many people!

I have just seen a post about giving a picture. I wonder are you skilled in any craft eg embroidery as you could do a wedding date embroidery and that is something for them to keep.

Someone did that when my son was born, it's been on my wall for 30 years! So thoughtful.

This. Or even a charity shop for a nice vase etc. Get a gift bag and tissue paper.

You can do this for less than 20 imo. Even with the card.

Are you going to the entire day or just evening? If it's entire wedding day and you want to give cash then I'd be looking at min £50. Saying that, I'm sure your friend would rather you just be there than struggle to afford it. There's always offers on champagne. If you keep any eye out you could get a really nice boxed one for around £30. I'd be happy with that as a gift.

Wow! I don't spend £50 on friends birthdays I would be broke. I do nothing for birthdays that don't end in a 0 (and make it very clear I want nothing on my birthdays), I do always go out and celebrate and buy them a drink or chip into a meal if we have one, more often than not we have parties where everyone brings food and I will make a cake. On zero birthdays I will buy a pressies between £10 and £30, almost always in a joint pot I do have a lot of friends and it would absolutely break my bank to do anything else.

I'm at an age where I hardly ever go to weddings anymore so I haven't had this issue for a while!

There is no rule of thumb on this

Very true. There are some good ideas upthread for nice gifts on a budget.

Have a look on Etsy and see if you can find a meaningful gift unique to your friendship. The value doesn't matter. Anyone who judges by £s spent isnt worth the worry.

This. £30 to £50 is fine. A bottle of fizz with a ribbon and a nice gift bag is fine. It’s really what you can afford. Write something heartfelt in the card and you’re all good.

There’s a great card shop on Etsy that has the map location of the wedding venue on the front. I think those are very cute and meaningful.

Thankyou everyone. I think I’ll go for a nice personalised candle or something and maybe a bottle of fizz?

It’s me and husband going, he’s friends with the groom.

Weve had a rough year financially so can’t spare much sadly, not after we’ve paid the hotel, drinks etc.

According to ettiquette, you have a year to send a gift. In your situation I would give a cheque and ask them to cash it in September because I wouldn't care about being open about my financial situation with friends, but if that weren't an option might try to get something on sale that was fragile and of a hard to determine cost, and write in a card that you will drop it directly to their home when they are back from honeymoon to avoid breakage.

There is no rule of thumb.
Antone who suggests a set amount is appropriate doesn’t realise that everyone is free to choose and also that friends don’t judge.
and Antone suggesting an amount either fails to ‘read the room’ that OP is struggling financially, or is taking pleasure in making her feel bad by suggesting significant sums of money.

OP - you can give a card and a small gust of your choosing, where price isn’t obvious. If you prefer to give cash you can…but the value is clear. Either is fine.

When I got married, we had gifts ranging from £10 to a couple of hundred. We also had guests who gave nothing. All was fine.

Bit complicated when she could just stick a bottle of wine in a gift bag 🤣

What could you afford? Just give that. I was really touched by a friend of my husbands who gave us £30 because I knew that was a big chunk of money for him and I appreciated the gesture. Others gave us £50, £100, but I remember the £30 in a card from him!

If you've had to pay for a hotel as well, I would think a small gift like a candle is fine.

I always buy a Photo frame A4 , so they have it to hand when they get the Doesn’t have to be expensive it’s the thought. It’s always a winner for them and me .

The photos back from photographers.

This is probably just me but I wouldn't think a consumable (candle, bottle of fizz) appropriate for a wedding gift. Traditionally, wedding gifts were to set the couple up for married life. I would buy some homeware item, anything is better than cash if you are worried you can't give the 'right' amount. A vase or table linen perhaps? If you go with the candle, give one with a candle holder/stand/whatever is the trend these days.

If it's DH friend getting married, is he not in charge of doing the mental gymnastics and budgeting around this one?

Usually 100, I’ve given up to 250/300 depends on who it is

It’s his friend but I also know the bridge.

I handle all finances too!

There absolutely is.

But it’s a rule of thumb, not a rule - so if the OP can’t afford it or would rather buy a gift, I’m certain her friends won’t mind.

I give £50 if an evening guest. £100 if a day guest. More if close family.

thats what I am comfortable with and can afford.

everyone is different though and there are no rules.