How much is standard to give for a wedding?

[Noisecomplaint]

I have to attend a wedding of a friend. We’ve known each other a long time, since primary school. See eachother a few times a year while socialising in a large group but also chat regularly.

Im skint! The wedding is also in the middle of the 6 weeks holidays which always drains every penny.

How much is the going rate for a wedding gift? Do I put in cash and if so how much?

Dont want to look like the friendship group cheapskate but at the same time its not money i have spare.

Any budget ideas that dont look like I haven’t tried?

It’s not a literal - it is a broad principle for when people like the OP ask how much they should gift. Most people here have said approx £50 a head is average- which is funnily enough the cost of the meal for an average wedding these days.

i got about £40 a head 25 years ago when i got married. I always personally gift £50 a head now when attending a wedding. I am not, however, paying for my meal obviously!

Amusingly, when you Google this topic now, AI is using this thread to answer the question on rule of thumb for wedding gifts. Which says it all for me about exactly how long this concept has been in place. And how much faith we should place in AI generated output as accurate.

My granny told me it- she got married in 1940 and she was told it at that time.

I think this is such a weird thing for you to be arguing about. Why? You don’t have to follow it. I was told it and I have told it to others. I passed it on here - didn’t think it was controversial.

I think it’s a nice fair rule. Don’t follow it if you don’t want to. I’m not making it up - can’t see why you want to accuse someone of just randomly making something up that that they were told by their grandmother in the year 2000 that other people have themselves confirmed they know. All very odd! why is it bothering you so much?

You can get personalised bottles of Prosecco online with a photo of the bride & groom for about £20 which you can personalise with a congratulations message

This is a really shit present. Don’t do this. 😂

I think this is such a weird thing for you to be arguing about. Why? You don’t have to follow it. I was told it and I have told it to others. I passed it on here - didn’t think it was controversial.
Because it makes people feel shit if they think there's this general rule and that if meeting it is a big stretch for them then they feel worried they are going to be judged. Nobody should feel they have to even consider what "covers their plate" and feel sad if they can't comfortably do so.

Lots of varying advice here OP and obviously people who move in different circles have different experiences and expectations. I'm in Northern Ireland and the general consensus is £75/£100 per guest (which is crazy expensive). It was around £50 when I got married 11 years ago and yes through my friends, family, colleagues that is the norm and the thought process (for some people not everyone) is covering your meal (again I can only speak of my experience and conversations with family and friends, I'm sure someone will come along and tell me I'm wrong and I probably am in their experience). However you can only give what you can afford. Its a personal choice but I would rather less money than a gift I won't use (& I also hate waste). If money is tight then maybe £30/£40 as there are two of you going and then a small meaningful or useful gift. We did get a lot of wine/champagne glasses but they do come in handy.

In the "olden days", the default present was always towels. If I were getting married now, I'd still much prefer a couple of thick, white bath towels than a bottle of sickly Prosecco and a manky scented candle (and they'll get loads of those, believe me).
Much better to have something that will actually be used, tbh.
If you insist on giving "fizz", at least make it a bottle of decent non vintage champagne - Prosecco will just go straight to the next raffle!

I’ve found going to my local vineyard and getting a bottle of English sparkling from the neighbours makes for quite a nice gift for these things

I agree this is much nicer than a bottle of personalised prosecco.

Well, me too, but presumably somebody is friends with people like this/ attending their weddings.

OP knows what kind of people her friends are and can probably predict whether they'll care.

Ireland / NI is a different kettle of fish. My best friend is from NI and she got a crazy amount of cash at her wedding. It’s normal (so I guess expected) that people will give generous cash gifts.

Wow . There must be a lot of rich people on here £100 to £150 for a friend. That's a weeks food plus

I wonder if an expectation of giving a large sum of money puts some people off attending?

I know someone who always buys a kite as a wedding gift and another who always gives the game Monopoly if the couple don’t have it. People seem to love both these gifts.

I tend to buy something from TK Max that looks to be their style. Much more bang for your buck. And a posh card.

Don’t do this people don’t want clutter… that’s why they ask for cash. I don’t think I kept anything that “looked to be my style” from my wedding. I can’t stand the personalised twee stuff. It’s just clutter.